


New Beginnings

by sredotaspeaks



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:04:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sredotaspeaks/pseuds/sredotaspeaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Loki is rescued from Svartalfheim after the events of the dark world, he didn't end up quite where he expected. Loki has to start from square one to discover exactly what it means to be born a frost giant..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fire and Ice

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a quick chapter to get the ball rolling... I imagine these are gonna get longer and longer as we progress. Also, eventual porn. Promise.

His chest burned. More than that, a fire raged there, eating away inside of him, whilst his limbs lay dead and heavy, the cold creeping into his extremities. 

His eyes barely fluttered as he tried to open them, and he became dimly aware he wasn’t breathing. 

The cold continued to creep up his limbs, poor into his gut and spiral towards his heart. The burning only grew worse and he lay there, unable to move, and Loki tried to recall the events that led him to his grave. 

There had been an escape, and a woman. That he could recall. He couldn’t help feel he’d lost something, but what, or who eluded him. There had been … a struggle. He wasn’t home. 

A ringing in his ears was making it much harder to concentrate. The cold was settling into his chest as the burn turned to a dull ache. 

A man, or perhaps a monster, white faces and a fight. The colour red. 

The crunch of footsteps sounded in the distance, accompanied with the settle of scree sifting down a slope. He squinted his eyes open to see nothing more than blinding light. His arms and legs still refused to respond. 

The footsteps were nearly upon him, and the light over his eyelids dimmed as a shadow fell over him. A large hand took a hold of his face. 

“This one of ours?” 

“Looks like it, though I ain’t ever seen him before. He’s pretty damned short” 

“He’d make Valmir look lofty... What’s wrong with him?” 

He face was released and the hands started to rifle through his armour and over his body as incomprehensible murmurs passed over him. As they reached his chest, he managed a groan of discomfort. The two voices paused momentarily. 

“Fuck, that looks nasty”. A shuffle of footsteps and a loud whistle of appreciation followed. 

“He’s gonna be a regeneration for a while.” 

Loki managed once more to open a sorry eye, catching a glimpse of two red eyes, framed by a blue blur. He pressed his eyes closed, the pain in his head and ringing in his ears worsening. 

“Do we take him back?” 

“Can’t leave him here. Helblindi can look at him back on the rock” 

Loki would have screamed in agony as he was hoisted into someone’s arms, but as of yet he still hadn’t drawn breath. As the stranger carried him away, he remembered an ally, a companion. Someone he’d been trying to save. 

As he slipped out of consciousness, one word came unbidden to him, his last thought. 

_Thor_.


	2. Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki starts to learn just how deep the shit is in which he finds himself. Asgardian prison is starting to look much more cushty...

Sluggishly, he felt himself rising into consciousness. He was dimly aware that some time had passed since he was last roused. Days, weeks, perhaps even months, he couldn’t say. Slowly, he started to move his limbs. They felt heavy, but no longer like they were dipped in ice. The burning in his chest was all but gone. Opening his eyes revealed a grimy, iced ceiling. More than that, a grimy, iced cell… As he turned to his right, he saw bars of ice that prevented him entering the corridor beyond. The room was only lit by an eerie blue light, the source of which was out of view. His memories were less hazy than the last time he’d woken, although he still didn’t recall how he’d arrived in this place. 

It was all he could do to assume Thor has stopped Malekith. As dire as this place was, it certainly didn’t seem like the end of the known universe. He ran his hand absentmindedly over his chest, to feel no scar beneath. Looking down, it wasn’t any injury that caught his eye. 

_Blue_. He thought, _I am entirely blue_ …

It came as more of a shock than he’d expected. Yes he knew the truth to his lineage, but he’d never truly laid eyes upon himself in his natural form before. The chest wound he incidentally seemed to have brushed off was also somewhat perplexing… What came as the next surprise was just how much of his blue skin he could see, as he sat there entirely naked. 

He carefully examined the soft, raised lines that wrapped around him intricately. What they were, and what purpose they served eluded him. _Another question unanswered_ he mused. On the plus side, he certainly seemed to still be alive, despite his (what he was sure to be called) heroic efforts. And after all, alive was Loki’s favourite thing to be. 

He stood up, and slowly circled his new abode. It was a small square, with a ceiling to accommodate someone much taller than himself. Unfortunately the bars were close enough together to hinder even his escape. As he wrapped his hands around them, he realised he felt no cold from the surface of them. In fact the soles of his feet felt no chill, nor did the rest of him. _Well we’re not called frost giants for nothing_. He felt his heart quicken as he finished his third or fourth lap of the cell. It was quiet, not a voice, a footstep or even breathing could be heard. Just silence. He closed his eyes, intending to well up his magic and send a clone of himself outside to explore his new surroundings. 

Nothing, He felt nothing. That usual pit that sat in his stomach, an ally to be called forward at any time felt empty. No magic. None. Zilch. He shook his head concentrated harder. Something simpler. An illusion, the basics of magic he had learned as a child. Perhaps to be pink skinned again would calm his nerves. As he focused, he knew almost instantly it was futile, but still felt dismay as he glanced down at himself to see no change. 

Now he really did start to panic. His pacing became more frantic, his breathing ragged. _Perhaps the cell prevents me_ … It was a long shot, but he dared hope. He started to feel light headed, perhaps he was hyperventilating, and he sat down heavily on the hard, icy outcrop he’d called a bed. 

Now that was something else altogether odd. Perhaps he had not noticed walking around, it wasn’t something he usually paid attention do. But on sitting down, he’d noticed something was most definitely missing. He gripped the sides of his bed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Perhaps you’re mistaken_ he tried to reason. Slowly, he slipped a hand underneath his cock to where they should be, but instead found-

”I hardly think you’re in a position to be playing with yourself.” Loki’s head snapped up, having not noticed the great, hulking figure walk up to his cell. He audibly swallowed and gripped the bed again. The great behemoth nearly reached the ceiling, a studded leather skirt around his waist and furs around his shoulders, despite the fact he also couldn’t possibly be cold. He threw a rag into the cell, and with a shift of his weight one of the ice bars receded into the floor. Loki took the hint, wrapped the rag around his waist and stepped outside. He wasn’t given any cuffs or restraint, not that he blamed them, he was no threat right now. 

He followed his captor down a narrow, but tall hallway. Occasionally a tunnel wound off each side and Loki glimpsed cells down each darkened burrow. The eerie blue light seemed to emanate from outcrops of strange, glowing ice, casting unnatural shadows as they moved. He couldn’t help but wrap his arms around himself. He wasn’t cold, but old habits die hard. 

Their journey ended after they ascended up a narrow, winding staircase (again, cut of ice), down a second corridor, and into a circular, windowless room. Another Jotun sat behind a desk (again, cut out of the ice, Loki was starting to see a rather unimaginative pattern) who looked no less intimidating that his current companion. He was dressed similarly, but two horny outcrops from his forehead curled back over almost snow white hair. If he knew any better, Loki would have guessed this guy had a few more millennia under his belt than he did. He was old. Old and frosty. 

Old frosty looked up from what looked like a rancid piece of meat he’d been working on. Without taking his eyes off of Loki, he licked his fingers clean and laid back in his chair. The silence stretched on before he finally spoke,

”Now then, what do we have here?” He spoke slowly, his voice deep and even, and it only made Loki that little bit more afraid of him. He got the impression this was not a man to cross. At least not yet…

“This was the stuntling found on Svartalfheim, chest impalement, dressed up in Asgardian armour. He’s been in regeneration for the best part of six weeks” said the voice from behind. He felt no less intimidated, but he became acutely aware he might glean some answers from this situation. For once, he thought it best to keep quiet.

“Traitor of the realm? What do we have on records?” Old frosty stood, and swept his hand over the icy wall. The surface disappeared, to reveal a large number of scrolls behind it, each set in its own bay. He pulled one, an inkpot and pen before returning to his seat. 

“We’ve got nothing, nothing at all…” replied the Jotun behind him, who unceremoniously nudged him towards the desk, the force of which threw Loki to his knees. Old frosty looked an Loki and raised one gnarled eyebrow.

”Start talking, stuntling.”

Loki licked his lips. It had been six weeks since Malekith took the Aether, and clearly the universe hadn’t ended. Thor most likely thought him dead, although he hoped his lack of corpse at least had Asgard somewhat perplexed. He’d expect Heimdall to have at least seen where he wound up. But again a prison is a prison, and perhaps Odin thought it a victory he was rid of him. He realised, just like when he fell to Thanos, he was completely alone, and had no one but himself to rely one. 

”My name, is Loki.” he said slowly. He didn’t know if it would be recognised here. The lack of reaction confirmed his suspicion, and the silence prompted him to keep talking. They had found him in his Asgardian garb, which most likely needed explaining. “I have been, off world, for a long time. Different realms, travelling. I’m nobody, really…” he finished, quite lamely. Being a once prince of Asgard would not roll in his favour.

”And I suppose you have no proof of authority to be off realm now do you, Loki?” His name sounded snide, and Old Frosty was already rolling his scroll up. Loki could only shake his head in response. He had no idea what the rules were on Jotenheim, he felt he would quickly need to learn if he wanted free of this prison any time soon… “Have Helblindi look him over next time he does the rounds. If he’s really unsure, Laufey will want to see him. It’s not often we get outsiders of our own kind.”

”But Laufey is dead” Loki blurted out. Thrusting a sceptre through a Jotun King, his fathers chest was not a memory he would be losing any time soon. Old frosty stopped still instantly, narrowed his eyes and looked at Loki suspiciously. 

“Now, what would give you that idea?” His voice, if possible, sounded more dangerous than before. 

”Asgard." was the only word uttered by the giant behind. Loki got the sinking feeling he had made a huge mistake. Old frosty smiled at him, and it was not at all friendly.

”Call Helblindi, have him come down as soon as possible. He’s going to want to speak to this one.” He stood, and returned the scroll from where it came, and turned slowly on Loki. 

”Stuntling, if you can regenerate from such a chest wound, why ever would you think our own King could not?"

 _Ah_ Loki thought to himself. _Shit_.


	3. Prison Life Take Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it seems Loki's cell on Asgard may not have been that bad at all. Also, that frosty guard is hella cute...

If Loki has thought prison on Asgard was bad, this was fucking awful. He never thought he’d miss his furnished cell with books and a bed made of actual soft furnishings. He had not quite been here a week, and he was even starting to miss that oaf Thor. 

The day started with something beige and mostly inedible dumped in the cell for sustenance and finished in very much the same way. This was assuming the dimming of the lights coincided with actual night. For no more than an hour a day, the bars receded and the prisoners were released into what felt like a holding pit. Guards walked across bridges, high above them, rarely interfering even when fights broke out. In this way, it differed from Asgard were prisoners were not released until their sentence had ended, or their life. Whilst the time provided the rest of the in mates with the opportunity to stretch their legs, talk to others and perhaps, just maybe, glean some enjoyment from this miserable existence, Loki mostly spent his time not being sat on, walked into, or in any way noticed at all. Being as small as he was he thought the latter might have been easy, but in reality he stood out. Curious eyes raked over him for the most part, and so far he had not been approached. The mystery between his legs however had started to become solved.

On his first night back in his cell, Loki had eventually gathered the courage to explore his anatomy further. Much to his horror, was lay below his cock was indeed a cunt. After exploring the rest of his body, he had found it very much the same in stature, with the exception of two small horny protrusions from his forehead that barely met his hairline. He had spent most of the night awake and restless trying to process what little information he had. Several days later he was not much wiser. 

As he sat in what he had simply come to call ‘The Pit’ he had come to several of his own conclusions, from a mixture of observation and eavesdropping. One; there are no female Jotun’s. Or male for that matter. The whole race was but one gender. If his own anatomy hadn’t been proof of that, the rutting of the inmates certainly was. Second; ‘stuntling’ was more than just a poorly coined insult from Old frosty. He had heard the term muttered a lot around the pit, and he highly doubted Old frosty was much of a trend setter. Perhaps he wasn’t the only Jotun to be born this small, but he didn’t imagine his petite brethren often survived to adulthood. And thirdly; the prison was most likely restricting his magic. He had no proof of this, hel he couldn’t even sense its presence, but he had seen frost giants use their own mastery over ice in battle, surely the inmates would have used this should they have the chance… and for all he had seen no one wore restrictive cuffs, and runes adorned the floors they walked. If only he had someone to question, someone who didn’t tower 4 feet over him…

His thoughts were interrupted as someone did just that. 

The inmate wore a rag much like himself, and had two, ragged horns which curled back into his hair and disappeared. Loki stood up, although the attempt to make himself feel taller was futile. 

”You’re quite the pretty little thing, aren’t you?”

Ah. This was not what he needed right now. Or anytime for that matter. He cast his eyes around the room to realise the nearby crowds has hushed turned to watch their altercation. 

”You know, I ain’t the only one who’s had my eye on you sweetness. But I promise, I’ll be gentler than half the guys in here. Maybe not more than some though…” 

Loki hadn’t noticed he was moving backwards until his back came up against a cool wall. The lummox in front of him had not hesitated to follow. He leant in and placed a hand (that was impressively much larger than Loki’s head) to his left leered his face inwards. 

”You don’t want to do this” Loki said, sounded much braver than he felt. He tried to reassure himself that although these guys were much bigger than him, and he had no magic, he was hardly inexperienced in a fist fight. Perhaps there had been some advantages to being raised beside the great thundery lump after all. The idiot in front of him smirked and took hold of his arm, and in an instance Loki jumped with his back pressed against the wall and kicked him squarely in the chest with all he could muster. He managed to regain his balance, watching the icy mountain in front of him hit the floor with a satisfying 'thud' 

Unfortunately he doubted his efforts had done very little to dissuade this particular asshole. He stood back up, cracked his neck and strode back to Loki, just a large shunt of ice protruded from the floor in front of Loki, connected with his chest and sent him soaring to the other side of the pit. Suddenly the room was quiet and the inmates nearest to him had started to back away. Loki jumped as a large figure landed in front of him, clad in guards armour, fur swathed around his shoulder and worn leather bracer's around his forearms. As he stood Loki realised the guard was not quite the behemoth of his colleagues. He stood perhaps a foot taller than Loki, with short but wiry, fiery red hair.

"I think you've had quite enough fun today, Vulket. Return to your cell." His voice was deep, as seemed the Jotun way, but so much smoother than he expected. He turned to face Loki, and Loki couldn't help but rake his eyes over him. He was after all, striking. His horns disappeared into the red hot mess on his head, (which complimented his eyes _wonderfully_ ) and his face was angular, jutting cheek bones and chiselled jaw. His body was less scarred than most, the lines that crossed the skin there more delicate than most (but none so much as his own. 

"You should too, little one" he said softly, as the conversation began to pick up the room and Vulket had departed. It took the guard motioning for him to move before Loki registered what he had said. Blushing (or what _felt_ like blushing) Loki shuffled along and was almost running when he left the pit, and was breathless when he made it back to his cell.

 _Good god I think I was just swooning_. He felt a little disgusted, he had never really taken interested in anyone not female, well endowed and stunning. Although if he was truly honest with himself, there had been a certain few men back on Asgard that had taken his fancy, especially a certain someone... but before the thought could take form in his mind he pushed it back and thought back on his guard. No, not his, _the_ guard. He sat up and put his head in his hands, the unfamiliar feel of his horns in his palms doing nothing but to irritate him more. Should he really be surprised? He was, after all, back amongst his own kind for the first time in his life. Perhaps he should have seen this coming. He had expected all the Jotun's be disgusting hulking beasts. Maybe his sample size of the inmates was a little biased in representing the whole species...

His thoughts tormented him that night, and he refused to let his mind wander anywhere overly indecent. His dreams he could take no responsibility over... but they were cut short as he was woken by a wrapping on his bars. He looked up, immediately disappointed not to see a crop of red hair before him. He didn't recognise the guard in front of him, who instructed him to get up and follow him. When Loki asked why he got but two words in response.

"Helblindi's here." 


	4. Family Fued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helblindi has been sent to evaluate the newest inmates, and it seems like Frigga isn't the only Mother Loki takes after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise I'm taking some serious artistic liberties with Jotun anatomy an physiology in this story, I just love the idea there is so much more to them than the Asgardians ever thought! So if you're feeling a bit lost with the story, don't worry (so is Loki) and all will be explained eventually!

Loki followed his guard through the rough tunnels, and for the first time since he arrived they began to ascend a set of stairs. He was led out, across one of the narrow walkways that crossed over the pit, and for the first time he got the true impression of the size of the great cavern below. With the pit devoid of any life, Loki heard their footsteps echo all around them. As they passed out of the pit and down a new path Loki did not know, his mind finally began to wander down a route he had previously avoided...

From his past, Loki was raised and Asgardian. He had no love for Jotenheim, the place was as unwelcoming as the ice from which is grew. In addition, there was the slight incident in which, when he was the _rightful_ king on Asgard, he had snared Laufey in a trap of his own construct, and thrust an ancient Asgardian spear through his chest. He doubted Laufey had forgotten the incident, Loki certainly had not. He did not doubt there was a death penalty on Jotenheim, and Frigga was not here to save him now. Perhaps his actions on Svartalfheim might have been just enough, that he be granted to join her, or perhaps just to see her once more...

As they again reached the top of yet another staircase, Loki noted the ice almost becoming lighter in colour, and felt they were nearing the surface of this particular frosty hell hole. It gave him a feeling of cautious optimism, and perhaps his was the thought he might once feel the wind and sun on his skin once more before he died, but for a second he dared hope. He was last an inhabitant of the realm the day he was born, but that didn't change what he was. Or who, for that matter. He was, after all, Laufey's son. Raised on Asgard or not, that fact did not change. Perhaps his estranged father would feel some meagre might of paternal instinct, that which he had glimpsed between Odin and Thor but never felt for himself, perhaps it would be enough to save him. He reminded himself of how he had come to be raised on Asgard to begin with.

_Your birthright was to die as a child! Cast out on a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me..._

Cast out. Unwanted. The misfit. On Asgard, his whole history made sense to him know he knew what he was. But even on Jotenheim amongst his own kind he felt an outsider. A stuntling. Now he was a man, grown, and not a newborn, would there really be any difference in his fate. Or would he once more, be cast out, and left to die.

His morbid thoughts came to a rapid halt as he walked straight into the guard who has stopped abruptly in front of him, and was knocked to the ground. Next he knew he had been hoisted through the air and thrown against the nearest wall. The air rushed out of his lungs and he wheezed, shamefully on the floor. He hadn't quite recovered himself to his feet before he was barked at to get in line. He looked up, saw the backs of several giants wrapped in rags, and heaved himself over to stand in their shadows at the end of the line. 

They stood at the end of a long hall. Pillars that lined the room were illuminated by the glowing, blue ice, but high above the ceiling seemed to shine, and Loki could almost feel the sun on his skin looking up. With their backs to the wall, guards fitted out in matching skirts and furs stretched out on front of them, lining the way which led to two large doors at the end of the room. Loki was surprised to find a staggering height different amongst the Jotun's (although none within a foot of himself) and couldn't help but note the crop of red halfway down the hall. He looked to the fiery Jotun, and for a second their eyes met. The guard quickly looked away and his cheeks seemed to tinge a darker shade of blue. _Please tell me this isn't Jotun blushing_. He cringed to himself as he felt certain his suspicions were correct. It made the incident in the pit much more embarrassing to recall. He was saved from his thoughts as the doors opened and gust a fresh, freezing air blasted toward them.

In strode and impressive giant. He was tall, lean, with a air of superiority that swirled around him like his skirts. They hung on his hips with pewter fastenings and the silks, a shade of blue ever so slightly lighter than himself, brushed the floor as he walked towards them barefoot. For a creature his size, he moved with alarming grace and his footfalls barely made a sound. A thin, delicate pewter choker encircled a thick neck, imitating the intricate lines that covered his skin. Loki hadn't seen any anatomy quite like them as they crossed over his torso and arms in a strange elegance. The most similar he had seen, in fact, where his own. The newcomer had thick, twisting horns that settles atop thick, blue hair not dissimilar to that of Laufeys. He stopped in front of the array of inmate, the hem of his skirt swinging forward in protest to continue. He waited expectantly. 

"All honour Helblindi, first son of Laufey, first of his name and heir to the throne of Jotenheim." 

Loki stood, stock still as the inmates duly bowed and the guards thudded a fist to their chest. His inaction largely went unnoticed as the stooping crew beside him still towered above him. They returned to standing and Loki's mind was still reeling. _A brother. I have a real, blood brother_. The very notion of it felt alien to him. He had a brother, Thor. The blonde, brutish oaf with which he had been raised for over a millennia. As much as me may reject the family he had on Asgard, Thor would be one he could never quite cut loose... But now here stood his own flesh and blood. The prince of ice and heir to the throne. And hel, did he look the part. Loki felt himself staring in awe at the princely figure before he checked himself. He too, had once been a prince, a King even. He would not be impressed by fanciful dress and correct posture just for having spent a week in a Jotun prison. Helblindi took a scroll from the guard at the opposite end of the line, where predictably he started his questioning. 

He kept his voice low, and Loki could not make out what was being said. As he came closer, he became somewhat clearer and Loki could hear him questioning the inmates on their origin and then crimes. Loki could not fathom if his voice truly reminded him of Laufeys, or if it was his own twisted perception. As his brother stood in front of him, Loki stared at the floor and could not bring himself to meet his gaze.

"Name" he said, deeply and evenly. There was no emotion in his voice, but with it, no intimidation. As he paused to answer, he heard the shuffle of feet from an impatient guard stood behind him. He spoke his name clearly, but didn't raise his gaze. At least not until a firm hand took ahold of his hair and wrenched downwards, forcing his face up. He grunted in surprise, resentment, and a small part pain. His eyes met his brothers, and an expression of shock took his face. He stared for what felt like minutes, before reading, and re reading the scroll in his hand. "Loki." He repeated, looking down upon him again. He nodded at the guard behind him, and his hair was freed. All of a sudden, the guards were moving and inmates being shuffled back towards the tunnel from which they came. People where moving all around, and he heard his brother speak once more. "Not him! Not the st- not the little one. He comes with us." A hand took Loki's arm and he looked up to see the resident red hot mess walking him towards the exit, but not before cuffs of ice grew from his hands to encircle Loki's wrists in a tight bind. He stumbled forward towards the light, and before he knew it he was blinking out sunlight and walking through freshly trodden snow.

The blinding light on the terrain made it hard for Loki's eyes, so used the dinge of the dungeons, to see anything past his present company; his brother, his red head guard and as he glanced behind, two more in kind. Helblindi walked far enough ahead that Loki would need to call out for him to hear. As it happens all he managed was a murmur, much more frantic than he intended to sound. 

"Where are you taking me? What's happening?" His head whipped back and forth trying to find any familiarity, a landmark from a previous visit when he lived another life. The world seemed alien to him, and his heart rate picked up and the realisation of how alone he was out on the icy tundra sunk into the pit of his stomach. 

"The main hall, before Laufey. Helblindi doesn't feel he can pass sentence on you, a rare occurrence but not unheard of. Laufey will decide your fate," his captor whispered to him. Loki felt no more settled. In fact he felt more like a lamb being carted to slaughter as they walked out along a parade, and Loki noticed the winding towers carved of ice, the winding roads and empty windows of the city within with they passed. Seconds later, he noticed the citizens moving between them, almost invisible when motionless amongst the ice. All except for the red eyes, every one of them, focused on their small party. _Laufey. His father. His fate._. Any trepidation he had felt on the long haul in Odin's halls faded in comparison to his march to Laufey. Odin's decisions were governed by reason, by morals, and above all by Frigga. That and so far, Loki hadn't made to impale him.

The panic rose within him, and just as he had figured his next ploy - _elbow to the ribs, sprint to the edge of the parade, a forty- no fifty foot drop onto fresh snow below, survivable surely, and a thousand fractured crags in which to hide and regroup_ \- he was pulled into the hall with which he was all too familiar with. They had entered from a side chamber, but the central throne was unchanged from his last visit. As was the figure which sat it.

Loki stared resolutely at the floor. As much as his body felt the same stature as before his regeneration, had yet to look upon a mirror. He somehow doubted his face would be unrecognisable.

"Helblindi, pray tell what why you've dragged this _stuntling_ all the way out here to burden my time". It seemed Laufey had grown no warmed in personality than Loki last remembered. 

"It's him father. I don't know how, but it's him. They say they found him on Svartalfheim wearing Asgardian armour. I don't understand but I swear to you-" 

"Stop babbling, who exactly is this supposed to be." Laufey sounded impatient, and Loki started to panic. He wasn't sure how Helblindi had recognised him from his previous visits. Perhaps he had been present, Loki had always been so focused on Laufey, but his garb was so striking surely Loki would have remembered his face.. It didn't surprise him that he knew the crimes he committed against their own father. Whenever, and however Laufey returned from Asgard, he would have had a gaping chest wound to explain. Loki let out a shaky breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. He certainly didn't want to die at the hands of Laufey, or anyone for that matter, and the idea of a fight for his life was laughable. But just maybe, he could do what he always had and talk himself out of this. He had unfathomable knowledge of Asgard and her defences, the exact location of the winter casket, inside knowledge on Odin... and to add to all of it he was, at the very least-

"My _brother_ , father. It's him, I swear it." Loki's head shot up in surprise and stared into the faces of his family. Had they known all along he was on Asgard, that he had been taken? Had Laufey knew last they met exactly who he was, and in turn told his brothers what had become of him? Helblindi stared at him determined, but almost a hint of pride in his features. Laufey, was as always unreadable and remained as still as the ice upon which he sat. Silence passed, and Helblindi looked between the two of them. "There's no denying it Father, he's the spitting image of him. And he was so small, when he was born. What if he was t-" his brother silenced as Laufey raised a hand. 

"There's no denying, the resemblance is... uncanny" he said after much deliberation. His voice sounded uncertain. "Valmir, unhand him."

Loki's arm was released by the guard beside him, and he heard a the footsteps of him retreating but a few feet backwards. His wrists remained immobilised in ice. "Tell us your story, short one. I'd be mindful not to hide any truths from us, I take unkindly to lies, and even less to threats against my family. Your life depends on your next words." It may not have been Laufeys intent, but Loki felt a flood of relief. His life, depending on his words. Finally, some familiar territory... he considered how best to present himself carefully. People didn't like to feel you had the upper hand. _Let them think they're in charge, let them think they hold the cards and make all the calls._. It was a philosophy he based most of his persuasion on. Only this time, Laufey would need little convincing of that, he very much held Loki's life in his hands. 

"I am Loki Laufeyson." He said simply. _No point dancing around the subject.._ he thought. Laufey simply raised an eyebrow whilst Helblindi looked fairly triumphant in himself. 

"An awfully _asgardian_ expression, Loki. Pray tell whoever told you that was true.

"The man who raised me. Odin." Loki's only indication to continue was Laufeys uninterrupted silence.

"The truth of my origin was kept secret from me until most recently. Odin took me from Jotenheim the day-" Loki paused. Having heard of the day Odin finally defeated Laufey from only Asgardian mouths, it was best he worded this carefully. "The day he took the casket." He finished. "I was found, cast out and left to die. He took me to raise, although any purpose he had for me I never fulfilled."

"Lies." came a new voice, from the shadows long behind the throne. Neither Laufey or Helblindi seemed surprised as a figure, dressed much alike his brother but with a much more scathing expression. "Lies, and illusions. As you would expect of an Asgardian. I don't care how much he looks like Mother, some of us are not blind to our emotions." He leaned arrogantly against the side of Laufeys throne.

"Býleistr, that is not for you to decide, _brother_ " Helblindi remarked, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Loki became fixated on the new arrival. _Just how many of us are there?!_. He had been surprised to find himself with one brother, all though after all he had been raised with one and the idea was no alien to him. But two? He had not considered there be more...

"Enough, both of you. He has been through regeneration, he is at he very least, one of our own. What were you doing on Svartalfheim when you were found injured?" Laufey asked. 

"The dark elves had returned and threatened the nine realms. Thor and I had-"

"The Odinson? You have met with him?" Laufey sounded surprised. 

"When I say Odin raised me, I mean he did so as his own. I believed him my Father, and Thor my brother, for most my life." After some consideration, Laufey started to laugh, a deep, grumbling sound before raising an eyebrow and speaking,

"Now I thought I had seen that face before, and not just in the memories of my late Fárbauti. Helblindi, Býleistr, meet the young _Asgardian_ who thrust Gungnir through your fathers chest"

Loki felt flooded with an uneasy feeling. He had been under the illusion this talk had been progressing in his favour... His brothers stared at him in disbelief, Býleistr going as far to remark _"This runt?!"_ before the tension was broken by Laufey sitting back in his chair and truly laughing aloud.

"It seems you take after your mother in more that just looks Loki, he was always one for mischief himself," He said, smiling now as he stood from his throne.

"You cannot be _serious_ Father, this stuntling-"

"Was _born_ this way and removed from Uppsala before he could finish his growth." Helblindi interjected, beaming at Laufey now.

Laufey walked towards him, and with a wave of his enormous hand the ice around Loki's wrist fell to his feet as snow. Loki could't help but backstep as the three of them walked towards him. Laufey stopped and held out an arm as he recognised the uncertainty in Loki's face. 

"Boys. Your brother has come home. 


	5. Back to Square One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After and unconventional family reunion, Loki has the monumental task of getting to grips with real Jotun life. Although the real challenge will be settling in with not one brother, but two...
> 
> Also I am SO SORRY it has been months since my last post. Life happened. Apologies.

In the week following Loki's unconventional family reunion, he began to realise just how wrong Asgard had been about Jotuns, and how little he really knew about his own kind.

Laufey had felt it prudent to take Loki aside and explain the events surrounding his birth. He must have known Odin would have taught him about frost giants, but only that which the Asgardians presumed true. When Loki has mentioned how he had been cast out as a babe, this seemingly hit a nerve. As it happens, yes, Loki was born a runt. He was born early, the trials and tribulations of war had caused his mother, Farbauti, to birth him earlier than normal.

Jotun life had never been particularly plain sailing. The war with the Asgardians burned civillians as much as it did the warriors of Jotenheim. The final years of the war had hit hard on the icy realm, and the Jotuns has retreated to their inner sanctuary, the city of Uppsalla, in an attempt to keep safe that which they held dearest as they had in so many wars before. The Asagardians had beaten them back to within their own walls, and upon finding Loki next to the lifeless body of his mother, Laufey had taken him to the steps of the temple in the centre of their stronghold along with the casket of ancient winters. In a vein hope that the priests within would protect the two things Laufey needed safe most, he had ventured out to meet with Odin on the battlefield one last time. Upon his victory, the Asgardians had all but destroyed the temple which held the caskes, and Laufey has presumed all who lay inside of it.

The tale had made Loki's head spin. Everything he once knew had come into question, but before he slept that evening he had come to accept he had not been abandoned by his family, and even with the best of intentions, Odin had taken him from where he truly belonged. His mother had perished in the last battle against the Asgardians. No one knew who cast the finished blow to him, they had just found his lifeless body, to weak to regenerate, covered in a fresh powder of snow. Loki wondered if he knew the warrior who had slain him, perhaps they might once have even been friends.

Learning his past had been enlightening, learning everything else was bordering on a chore. Appropriate dress, behaviour, what was expected of him as a prince of Jotenheim, what was _not_ expected of him and so on. If he was honest with himself, it was not all that different from being a prince on Asgard. He had been relieved to discover he was not without magic permanently, but regenerating from a wound as he had meant it was depleted. The lower dungeons of the prison had indeed inhibited what reserves he may have had. Laufey did not not know if Loki's aesir magic would come back to him, but when hist frost magic did that his brothers would teach him. In the past few days, he had felt _something_ churning in his stomach. It was not his previous power, but it was not dissimilar.

It had been a week since Loki had been brought before Laufey and spoken with his brothers. After the seven day blur that was Loki's experience of Jotun life, he was to finally meet with his brothers once more.

Helblindi had been around in the past week, but Loki had been so busy catching up and settling into his new life that Helblindi had lelet him be (at his fathers orders he imagined). Byleister however, had been shadowing him from a distance. It had not yet become irksome, but it reminded Loki of a different life, a different brother, whom Loki would have followed anywhere without hesitation. He put all thoughts of his Aesir family behind him, the blonde brute would do nothing but clear his mind, and he suspected it would not do well to be without his wits around Byleister. He was nervous, but it would be a relief to finally speak to him today, however intimidating Loki may find him. 

As he sauntered down the hallway, he caught his reflection in some of the panels of ice. At first it had been a shock, and in his rooms alone he may have fallen to his knees and sobbed the first night he had here (he would disclose that to no one...) His blue complexion, fiery red eyes and unfamiliar anatomy were all beginning to feel commonplace. He has always been excellent at adapting, but perhaps this time it was because he was how he should be. The icy doors leading into the lounge room where his brothers awaited was flanked by two guards. A Stocky, broad fellow with lines across his face that Loki truly couldn't tell if they were from birth or a fight. On the the other side... a rather handsome red hot mess. Valmir if he recalled correctly. Which he knew he did, the name had played about his mind every time he had seen him over the past week. The handsome Jotun glanced at Loki and he would have sworn he saw the curve of a smile before his eyes snapped back up to gaze down the hall way.

"You really ought to be less shy," Loki said lowly, as he passed by him into the next room. _Perhaps I am becoming more comfortable in my skin that I thought_

"Loki!" Helblindi cried out, arms open as he entered the room. His brother was sat in the middle, a circle of fur covered seating around a carved, luminescent light was the focal point of the room. It was large, and the edges bordered by colossal pillars. It was against one of these his other sibling rested, arms folded and expression stony. They both wore skirts as he did, hanging from their hips to skim the polished icy floor. Helblindi wore jewels not dissimilar to Loki over his bare chest, but Byleister wore a plain white fur, wrapped around his shoulders. 

"It's good to see you again. Both of you" Loki smiled, and walked to meet Helblindi. It's only as he got closer did he start to noticed the intimidating height difference between them. As if sensing Loki's discomfort, his brother sat and smiled warmly. 

"How have you been settling, have you been looked after well?" There was genuine concern in his brothers voice, and Loki began to feel a little more at ease. The way Helblindi looked so intently at him couldn't help but remind him of how he was a likeness of their late mother. His smile suddenly felt like more of a grimace, so he sat to face his brother and pressed on.

"I've been, taken care of, that I can certainly say. I cannot say I've enjoyed the endless Jotun life lessons being forced upon me, but perhaps this place is starting to feel a little more like home..." Loki was careful not to sound too settled, after all he had been here a week, he didn't want his brothers to take the impression he had sauntered right back into the nest to 'take his place' as a prince. He knew people, and he knew how to make people like you. It would be a careful game, but he hoped, in time, he could indeed come to call Jotenheim home. 

There had been a derisive snort from the circumference of the room. Helblindi whipped round and gave their brother a stony glare. 

"Byleister" Helblindi murmured through gritted teeth. "We talked about this. Come speak with our brother."

He uncrossed his arms, and languidly paced over to them, flopping down on a seat nowhere near either of them and rolled his eyes over to look at Loki. 

"So. Aesir baby, tell me. Is it true Asgardians only have either a cock _or_ a cunt?" He smirked, and cocked his head to one side as he finished. Helblindi stood abruptly and opened his mouth to speak, but Loki cut him off.

"Indeed it is, _brother_. Why, do you have a preference between the two?" Byleisters cheeks tinged a darker shade of blue, and after an awkard pause, he threw his head back and laughed. 

"Well I bet _that_ was a shock to you when you woke up blue in Svartelheim."

"You have no idea" Loki said dryly. The current conditions between his legs was still a grey area for Loki. Other than to clean himself, he'd decided to deal with this aspect of his new life by ignoring it. So far, this tactic had been paying off. 

Helblindi had watched the exchange standing, now sensing a little hostility had passed, he slowly sat down. 

"Well should you need any help becoming acquinted I'm sure our dear sweet Valmir-"

"Byleister please, can you not whore out our youngest sibling to your friends" Helblindi groaned, exasperated.

"What? A cock in him might keep the little Aesir bastard out of trouble."

"Don't. Just don't Byleister. Our brother is home, and I won't have you drive him away before you've given him a chance!"

"A chance? A chance to what Helblindi? To try and assasinate the rightful King and ruler of Jotenheim, _our father_?? Or perhaps you're not content with him being responsible for the death of just one of our parents?" 

The two siblings were now standing, only feet apart, as they had come to tower either side of Loki. Ice crackled around both of Helblindi's fists, something that Byleister did not miss.

"The Asgardians killed out mother, By. You cannot hold him accountable."

"The bastard was raised by them Hel. That's close enough for me". The menace in his voice was almost palpable. He made to point at Loki, of which he had no doubt the intention was the threaten. Helblindi snapped his fingers around his brothers hand, an icy vapor swirled around his fist. 

"Out. Now."

"You don't give the orders here yet, brother" Byleister retorted, but the venom had left his voice, and he walked out the room regardless. 

Helblindi sat down once more, beside Loki this time, there legs almost touching. This close, Loki couldn't help but note the immense weight of the man next to him. His brother sighed and started to make apologies for their sibling. They settled into a silence, both staring into the strange glow to the centrepiece. 

"This is not how I had wished for today to go." Helblindi said lamely. Loki could hear a little sadness in his voice. Perhaps now was the perfect time to make a request he had been holding onto. 

"You used magic, in your fist before, didn't you?" He said, as innocently as he could muster. His brother cocked his head and smiled at him.

"You have a sharp eye. Yes, I used magic. By might be a talented fighter, but his control of ice and its properties has never come close to my own. Jotun magic flows through bloodlines. Most guards are from a circle of families that possess the power to create weapons at will, or defend themselves. Occasionally normal citizens of the city will develop a certain skill, and rise up through military ranks because of it. But the strongest of magic, that lies in the house of Laufey. It's a sore subject for By, he has never been as powerful as he'd hoped. If he trained more, no doubt he'd improve but it is not something for which he has a natural gift." Helblindi spoke with a nostalgic air, drifting off on a tangent away from Loki's choice subject. 

"I was talented on Asgard. With magic, better than most. The best in fact" he ventured, and looked up to meet his brothers enormous face. "Do you think, perhaps as a Jotun I might too, have some ability?" he finished, trying to sound innocuous. He had no doubt of his capabilites on Jotenheim, all he needed was....

"I can teach you" Helblindi blurted out, decisively. "No, I _will_ teach you. The two of us, just as if you had never left." He was smiling now, and he stood up and paced across the room before turning on his heel to face Loki. He was beaming now. "Tomorrow, at dawn, I'll come find you and we can begin straight away. Don't worry about By, he'll come round, but for now the two of us can begin to make up for lost time!" He sounded excited, and he hurriedly left the room. 

Loki laid back on the chair and tilted his head back to admire the ceiling. He smiled to himself and hummed. 

_Too easy_


	6. New Faces, New feelings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is becoming irate at everyone treating him like a child due to his height. That is, all except one. Bar brawls ensue..

"Excellent Loki, Excellent! Absolutely first rate!!" Helblindi cried, going as far as to clap his hands. Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes and make a derisive comment. Instead he opted for what he hoped was a smile filled with gratitude and not a grimace. "Perhaps we should take a rest now, we've been practising almost an hour, I think, I think that might be enough for today" He said softly.

It had been like this for the past few weeks now. At first Loki had been trembling with excitement at the thought of returning to magic. For a whole week, Helblindi had refused him any practical lessons but discussed the theory of creating ice and what applications and opportunities it presented (Loki thought is best not to mention he had experienced these first hand in combat...) As the royal bloodline, they held more magical prowess than the rest of the realm and with this came the responsibility of upholding the reputation of the House of Laufey. It made sense to Loki. Laufey would not want any child of his own to cast doubts upon his house.

Despite this, Helblindi had been reluctant to train Loki straight away. Within the royal Palace, the only place permitted to train was within the Solar. Jotuns had an innate ability to sense when another was manipulating the ice around them. Any weaving of it within the palace led to panic and armed guards on scene. The Solar was protected from this, with runes carved on the walls no dissimilar to the prison cell. Now that his lessons has started, they rarely lasted more than an hour, out of fear Loki may tire, or collapse. _Or whatever it is Jotun children do when they're tired_ Loki mused. Loki was not permitted in the Solar in which they trained without the accompaniment of his eldest brother, and so without further practice his progress has been painfully slow. 

At first, he'd been given a taller chair to sit and eat with his family. A mite embarrassing but practical no less, without it his head barely crested the table. He then noticed a guard, posted outside his room at night. He was followed, almost everywhere and the way in which Laufey enquired after his day reminded him of Frigga and the way she would gush after the tales he and Thor would tell her as children.  _A child. That's how they see me. And I will grow no taller, the longer they treat me this way the harder it will be to change their minds..._

In counter to this frustrating treatment, Loki has considered and outburst. But he was half the size of his companions and he knew this would have directly the opposite affect. As if sensing this, Byleister had been going out of his way to patronise Loki. Much more of his taunting and he may just succeed in provoking his little brother. He took a deep breath as Helblindi started to put tomes and scrolls away, concluding today's lesson.  _By'_ _will not best me yet._ Loki had decided the most productive act would be to become as exceptional at magic on Jotenheim as he had on Asgard. 

"Hel, I'm fine, really. Can we not continue?" 

"I'm sorry Loki, I have to be in a council with father and By today. Do you not remember?"

How could he forget? To add insult to injury, he attendance had of course not been requested. But Loki was not one for a missed opportunity, and even less so for misbehaving... 

He smiled sweetly at Hel, and went as far to cock his head to one side. "Of course, forgive me I'd hate for you to be late." He glanced around the room and the mess they has made in the past hour. "Let me tidy up, please. It's the least I can do for all the training you've given me. Besides, we started earlier than we should have, you haven't had any time to eat yet! Go, I'll put them back." He hoped to sound innocent enough. He'd never have gotten away with it with Frigga, he wouldn't have even tried. The woman had had a sixth sense for Loki and mischief. But his poor, naive Hel really had no idea of what he was capable of... 

" _Thank you Loki"_ He sighed, eyes darting to the door. He was keen to leave. "The tomes, they're very heavy, I mean, they go on the top, I mean, you can leave those in a neat pile ok?" 

It was all Loki could manage and keep smiling, with a curt nod. He didn't trust himself to reply to that. Then all of a sudden, he was alone in the solar, and he breathed a sigh of relief. The door clicked shut behind him and he turned to take in the room and ponder where to begin... In the centre of the ceiling was very thin, delicate and intricately designed ice that let through beams of light from the sky above. In the days were the snowfall was heavy, the room would be lit by the hangings on the walls, but not today. The light shone on the bookcases carved into one side of the room, behind a large table upon which several lay. 

In front of this is where Loki stood now, stock still in the wide expanse of the octagonal room. Dustings of fresh snow littered the floor from their training today. Hel had started him off with controlling the flow of Ice in his body. After several days of agonising over this, he had extended it to Loki changing the atmospheric temperature around his hands and limbs. It had begun with a drop in temperature, and then to creating soft dustings of snow that fell to the ground. All of it had taken weeks, and Loki was beyond frustrated. The Jotuns may call it Ice, but in essence it was magic, and Loki had learned to manipulate it as a child. He skimmed over the scrolls laid out on the desk. Most contained titles pertaining to his previous teachong, although 'Disarming' and 'Live Ice' sounded new. _Perhaps something for  the future.._. he mused, and returned all the literature to it's rightful place bar one. 'Forms and Fractals' was a scroll Hel had referred to. It contained all of the stances with which Jotuns took to form offensive and defensive casting. He rolled it out on the desk and cast and eye over it, before he took to the middle of the room. He focused, and began to craft. 

It was over the following hours Loki created tendrils of ice from his fingertips, spears through his hands and columns that rose up from the ground. The floor was slick with fresh ice dusted with snow marked footprints and smears from his stances. It was with surprising ease Loki found the glass like shards doing all that he asked. It was no different from commanding Aesir magic, really. Concentrate, command and create. But these were no illusions and took much greater energy to create; these were true to form and for the first time in weeks, Loki felt giddy. His muscles began to ache with his movements, moving from one form to the next took poise and grace he didn't usually possess, but soon he felt himself dance around the room, commanding his element with precision.  

The far side of the room was lit with fiery red and he knew the sun would be getting low. No-one had come to find him as of yet. With the exception of Hel, no-one ever came looking at all, and no doubt he did not expect to find Loki still in the solar. As he cast his eyes around to the true mess that lay around the room. It was time for his final task of the day. Dissolution. Hel had spoke of it frequently, the importance of returning things to their natural state, the way they should always be. To Loki, it sounded no different to removing his illusion. However, as he breathed deeply and evenly, the familiar crackling of ice didn't reach his ears. Nothing was moving. 

A little panicked, Loki tried again and again with similar results: nothing. He started to worry, he didn't want to be found out, gods forbid Hel wouldn't let him near the room again. Casting back to his lessons with Hel, nothing he spoke of had indicated any difficulty in dissolution. 

 _This is ridiculous, I've been casting since a child_ he told himself.  _If Frigga were here to see you she'd say-_

 

He stopped himself. What would she say? Loki, in trouble of his own creation. Again. No one to blame but himself. He'd always been so quick to impress her, he often tripped over his own spells to create nothing. But he knew what she'd have said, had she seen him worked up and exhausted as he was now. 

_Forget it all Loki, and find your centre. Something calm, sturdy, something to hold on to. Let it all fall away except for that. Now then my darling, try again..._

It was a trick he hadn't used in centuries as his magic had become second nature. But perhaps now...

He closed his eyes and spread his arms wide, and pictured that which has always grounded him. He could almost hear his laugh, as loud as the thunder he could create. He remembered his presence, heavy on his back like the sun beating down, and how it had felt to stand by his side all those years. He felt should he open his eyes the blonde brute could be standing right beside him. But he kept them closed, and focused; he had arrived at his centre. 

He heard the ice retreating before he even felt it, the rough cracking and groaning of the floors and walls. He focused on how the room had been before he began, and when he finally opened his eyes, that was how it appeared. Thoroughly pleased with himself, he had to admit he was exhausted. With a last glance around the room he opened the monstrous doors open, and softly closed them behind him. 

" _Finally._ I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how to use a door" came an irritated drawl as soon as he was in the corridor. Loki whipped round, surprised and saw a very disgruntled Valmir standing post, staring resolutely at the wall opposite. 

"I didn't-  I thought-" Loki stuttered out, uncharacteristically caught off guard. He stopped, and tried again. "Have you been there all day?" He ventured. 

"Helblindi bid me that I do not leave my post until you had finished putting away your things, and escort you to wherever it is you were next destined". His tone had returned to formality, and he would not look at Loki, perhaps embarrassed by his previous outburst. 

"My apologies.." He replied, lamely. An awkward pause hung between them. Valmir cleared his throat.

"You, uh, sound like you've been having fun in there" he quipped, nodding his head behind him. Loki offered him a small smile. 

"Yes well, there certainly seems to be little else 'fun' to be had here. I've never been to a place so,  _un-fun_ frankly." As soon as he said it he realised it made him sound a little petulant, but regardless Valmir laughed. 

"Well a young prince like yourself has to be kept under lock and key no doubt. We'd hate for anything to happen to you." 

The words rang in Loki's ears.  _Young Prince._

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you hardly look over a thousand yourself, let alone old enough to be speaking to me like that" He knew he sounded irritated, he just hoped Valmir picked up on it too. He had, judging from the blush across his cheeks. He stammered an apology, then looked warily at Loki again. 

"You're really, that old?" It was possibly not intended as an insult, but from Loki's face it was clear it was taken that way "No I mean! I'm sorry, I should know better being shorter myself I, well it's just," the poor guard shrugged in way of apology with a grimace on his face, and then folded his arms almost protectively across his chest. Loki couldn't help but find the change in demeanor endearing, and he felt some of his anger ebbing away. Something in Valmirs expression changed and he cocked his head towards Loki. 

"So, your brother never mentioned where your next destination might be? Perhaps I may make a suggestion? Somewhere you might find a little more..  _fun?"_ Loki's silence was enough to prompt more from Valmir. "There's a place outside the palace. It was never named but most guards call it the Hive. People congregate, there's drinking, talking. Oh and a fighting pit in the middle for entertainment. We usually go there to unwind. Besides, my shift should have really finished hours ago soooo...."

Smiling, Loki gestured for him the lead the way. 

 

****

 

The Hive was enormous, even by Jotun standards. Loki sat, in a corner with his red haired accomplice taking in the room. He shifted uncomfortably, he couldn't decide it was from feeling so small, or from the uncanny resemblance the room shared with the pit down in the prisons - large and cavernous, with bridges arching overhead, except with drinkers and fighters occupying the whole room. The stark contrast to the pit, was the presence of an actual fighting pit in front of Loki now. It sat, in the middle of the room and was little more than a twenty foot deep hole in the ground into which two Jotuns would enter and only one would leave conscious. 

Valmir was regaling him with tales of him and his friends on a variety of endeavours in the wastelands, and Loki felt a little nostalgic for his once-friends back on Asgard. Beasts defeated and battles won. For the most part Loki nodded and acted impressed as he took in the scene around him. But as Valmir soldiered on with his stories Loki began to appreciate how close they sat, how Valmir had draped an arm behind him, and how he would lean down to speak in his ear. Maybe it was the drink, or perhaps the genuine charm of the Jotun beside him, but Loki felt himself blush on occasion, and a familiar, if not long absent, feeling of lust began to boil in up in stomach. He crossed his legs as he finished his drink. He might have been ignoring his new anatomy for the past few weeks, but in defiance it appeared to be reminding Loki very much of its presence as an unfamiliar wetness creeped between his legs. 

He realised Valmir had paused talking as he turned to look at him, their faces much closer than Loki anticipated. The fiery red eyes burned into his own, and Loki couldn't help his eyes flicking down to look at his full lips. He was heartbeats away from leaning into them, when resounding 'THUD' hit the table before them and they sprang apart. 

"Well if it isn't the little stuntling and his daring hero, out of the pit and in full romance." The face sneered down at the two of them, blocking the main light from the room and flanked by two unfamiliar but towering silhouettes either side. Blinking into his face, it took Loki more than a moment to recognise the monster in front of them, it took Valmir much less. 

"Piss off Vulket, or you'll find yourself back in the dungeons" Valmir said, swigging from his drink afterwards. The name connected the dots in Loki's mind, and he recognised him as the man who had taken a fancy to him in the pit. 

"Didn't know the little shit was a prince. Then again I always did have good taste" His hulking great friends laughing at the remark. "What's the matter my prince? Tongue stuck on the ice? You look like you've warmed to our dear Vamir here but I assure you, you'll find me much more satisfying" He went as far as to wink at Loki before leaning over the table. 

"If only I could stand the smell" Loki drawled. He was familiar with being intimidated and he did his best to sound uninterested with the whole situation. In reality he had started to worry. In the pits Valmir had used magic to his advantage, but here it would be of little use is Vulket or any of his companions could use it too. 

"You want to watch that little mouth of yours princess, your loverboy isn't always going to be around to protect you" He sneered. 

"I can handle myself" he said, far too arrogantly. If Loki had wanted pinpoint the one place in which the evening had gone 'tits up', it would be that exact sentence.

"HE CAN HANDLE HIMSELF" Vulket roared, arms wide at the crowd around him. Loki had not noticed how much attention their altercation had been receiving as the whole bar erupted into laugh and taunts. A hand wrapped around his forearm and he found himself amidst the throng being led by his red head. 

"Time to leave!" Valmir half hissed, half shouted over the crowd, "NOW"

It was too late. Loki felt a much bigger, firmer hand around his other arm and he was ripped from Valmirs grip. He briefly saw an unfamiliar face before he went flying through the air. He hit the ice hard, and was surprised at how there was suddenly so much space around him, until he looked up and found himself twenty feet below the clientèle of the Hive. He stood, hoping he looked less shaky than he felt, and cast his eyes around the circular pit. 

There was an awful 'crack' as Vulket landed deftly beside him in the pit. He cracked his neck and deafening roars overhead echoed around them. 

"He can handle himself!" He repeated, and as he started to circle, Loki stayed resolutely opposite him in the pit. "All right then my princess! How about it? You handle yourself in the ring and you walk right out of here! And of course when you don't... well I'm just gonna bend you over right here in front of everyone aren't I sweetheart?"

The jeering was almost unbearable, and an universal wolf whistle rang from somewhere up ahead. Valmir was nowhere to be seen. 

In answer to Vulket's request, he had no doubt he would be unable to decline and leave unharmed, Loki swept one foot in front of him, and pushed the other back, raising his arms in the first offensive stance. The roars of laughter weighed down on him, getting riled now wouldn't help him. The beast in front of him may have had size on his side, but Loki knew his own worth, held his form, and found his centre.

_He's a big bastard isn't he?_

It was as if Thor was by his side. Where he always had been. As Vulket ran toward him, Loki leant into his front leg, turned on his heel and swung his front leg over the ice before him. The floor swept under Vulket like a rug and he hurtled to the ground. Loki took the moment he hit for floor to run towards him, create a spear of ice down his arm and jump. 

Vulket was no amateur in the ring, and he rolled onto his front reaching out for Loki. He was however, caught off guard. Loki's original plan to spear the bastard may have fallen through, but the sharp tip of his spear traced the Jotuns torso before snapping on his belt, and Loki skidded to the opposite wall. 

_Big doesn't mean stupid Loki, I mean look at me!_

He could already see the stupid grin on his blonde framed face. A sight wholly different than the blue one, regaining his balance in front of him, looking thoroughly pissed off. He traced the cut oozing a little down his front, and created his own weapon from the other arm. He charged. 

The brawl continued in a similar pace, Vulket would throw heavy blows and use his weight against Loki, who really had to muster all his strength to go spinning out of his way delivering blows when he could. He could feel the ealier exhaustion of his training seeping in to his muscles. He knew he had to try and end this quickly. He also knew that if Vulket got a hold of him, he was finished. He must stay out of his grasp. 

_Easy Loki, not too quick for the finish. He's trying to draw you in._

_I know, stupid oaf_  he replied to his own mind. Rivulets of blood where starting to run down Vulkets legs where Loki had been slicing him. In reality they were no more than scrapes, but it was enough that the confidence had gone from his eyes. No doubt the monster thought he'd be finished by now, and not just with the fight. 

A few more blows passed between them and a few made their mark. Loki stumbled and it was all he could do to launch himself out of harms way. The calls from above where getting more heated as if they could sense his weakened state.

_Use what you've got Loki. There's always a way to win a fight you've just got to find it._

A snippet of Thor's useless optimism was enough to irritate Loki into re-evaluating the fight. What was it he had thought before?

 _THUD._ The ice clod that barely missed him was too close for comfort. He darted around and kept his eyes firmly on Vulket. _Two Jotuns would enter and only one would leave conscious._

He didn't need to kill or maim or exhaust the bastard, just knock him out cold. A few more laps around the pit and half hearted lunges and Loki had figured out how. Three stances, with a swift change between them. Three simple tricks really, but it could, or rather should, work. 

"Enough you little runt, this ends now".

 _Couldn't agree more_ said Thor in his mind.  _Show him how it's done, Brother_

As Vulket spread his arms and great shard of ice began to form around his wrists (frankly, the only Ice Vulket appeared to use was from his fists) Loki quickly took his first stance, not dissimilar to that of the first of this match. As quickly as his energy could muster, and as Vulket had nearly formed his fists, he pulled the ice toward him with all his force. It had the desired effect, Vulket's feet swept from under him and his head went flying back towards the wall.  _Not enough_ thought Loki. He quickly turned his back to him, feet together and thrust one palm forward, span back to him on his heel and took a deep squat, thrusting the other up. The movements took less than seconds, but the effect was devastating. 

As Vulket had slipped back, a thick column of ice had shot forth from the wall to batter his head forward. If the blow wasn't enough, as his face flew toward the floor, a second column came up to meet it in time with Loki's second palm. He was out cold before he hit the floor.

Loki's arms dropped to his side, his chest heaving and sweat pouring off of him (he hadn't known he was even capable of sweating..) After a brief silence of awe, the roar turned to one of outcry. How dare he defeat one of their own... Loki's head swam as he struggled to keep his feet, when two more entered the ring. Had he had his wits about him, he might have figured it was Vulket's sidekicks from before, but all Loki saw was an inevitability in front of him. They took one step and stopped in their tracks.

"THAT IS ENOUGH" A familiar voice from above him boomed. The room had a hushed silence. The two who had entered the ring quickly made to recover their fallen comrade, as if this was their only reason for jumping in. Loki had turned to see who had dared silence a room just to save him, and from above saw the absolutely livid face of Byleister and a terrified looking Valmir. Loki thought he had seen Byleister angry before, but it was nothing compared to the contempt on his face as he swept his gaze across the room. The thought of Byleister looking down on him from such a height spurred a new energy on in Loki, and he deftly pulled himself up from the pit using small holes and his own energy to help stick to the ice. He surfaced, directly beside his brother but didn't dare meet his gaze. He looked at the nearest giants too him, looming over. As it happens, his foot slipped on the ice towards them, the movement was slight but noticeable. Perhaps it had looked like his stances in the pit, but it sent them reeling backwards into each other. Loki couldn't keep the grin from splitting on his face. 

"We're leaving" Growled Byleister. " _Now"._


	7. Curiosity killed the Lokitty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from good to bad, with orgasms in between. Graphic warning here.

"Tell me, please, what ON JOTENHEIM POSSESSED YOU TO TAKE HIM INTO THAT PLACE" Byleister roared. They had returned to a room Loki did not recognise. It had plenty furniture and furs about the place, but Loki had managed to slide down a wall to a slump and had no intention of moving. Valmir was pacing the floor and wringing his hands.

"He's been cooped up all these weeks! I just wanted to take him out, you know, be two guys, not a guard and a prince or a-"

"Can you, for once, not think with your dick Val?" Byleister had gone from annoyed to exasperated. Loki was too tired to even comment. He had struggled to keep up with his brothers impressive gait, and now the adrenaline had left his body it was all he could do to follow the conversation.

"Can you imagine if Helblindi found out?" By' added, and Valmir couldn't meet his gaze.

"If I found out  _what,_ Byleister?" The voice had come from Loki's right, and he knew for the time being he was out of view. By' seemed to pause, he clearly wasn't expecting Hel to have been made privy to the events of the day. As his eldest brother strode into the room, a look of defeat crossed By's face. Hel cast his eyes around, and came to rest on Loki. 

"BY THE NORNS what HAPPENED TO HIM" he cried out, running to Loki's side immediately. Loki managed to smile at him, weakly. Hel stroked his hair, and whipped round to face By. "If you did this to him,  _so help me-"_

"I SAVED his ass I think you'll find." By' roared back. Valmir backed off, clearly realising he was about to be thrown under the bus. "Perhaps the stupid bastard wouldn't have been fighting in the hive if  _someone_ had not been teaching him to fight in the first place?!"

"THE HIVE?" Hel exclaimed, and looked between his two brothers. "Why,  _why_ was he in the Hive? And for one, I have NOT been teaching Loki to fight, we've not even moved beyond atmospheric fists."

"Could have fooled me he just knocked a fourteen foot fucker out with three stances." By' shot back, voice full of accusation. A silence fell between the brothers, and a look of confusion as to Loki's new found aptitude had come from, passed between them. Slowly, they turned to look at Valmir. 

"I SWEAR I haven't been teaching him." He threw his hands up and began to back away. "Helbli-  _Prince Helblindi_ you  _told me_ to wait outside the Solar until he was finished and I did, I swear I never entered I know it's not for guards to enter, he was in there for hours and I stayed and the sun was down when he finally came out and he seemed so frustrated I thought to myself hey lets go for a drink I thought it'd be fine I thought-" Byleister held his hand up to silence Valmir's babbling. 

"You meant to tell me, that he trained himself, in a day, went to a bar, and beat up one of the biggest bastards there?" Loki couldn't read any emotion in his voice, and he was turned away to look at the red head. 

"OF ALL THE IDIOTIC, UNRELIABLE, COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS TO DO LOKI, I TOLD YOU, WE TAKE ICE SLOWLY, WE...." Loki stopped listening to Hel's lecture as he drifted out of consciousness. But not before his eyes met By's. There, an almost familiar mischievous grin was plastered over his face, and he winked at Loki before darkness took him. 

 

*****

 

 Loki came back to his senses, one by one. There was a distinct taste of metal in the back of his mouth, and that which accompanies when you haven't drank in too long. He felt warm, an oddity of Jotenheim, and comfortable. The feel of soft fur and silk against his skin was familiar and welcoming. As he rolled over and buried his face in the fur, the smell was welcoming and without opening his eyes he recognised the bed as his own. For a while he heard nothing, until footsteps approached and stopped outside of his room. 

"Any life in there?"

"None as of yet. It's been three days..."

"He's just exhausted Valmir. Even for a veteran, that was a tough day on a Jotun. He just needs time to recover."

"He wouldn't be recovering if I hadn't taken him to that blasted place"

"It was stupid, but it's done now. You know you don't need to punish yourself by standing guard for him every shift you can manage"

"I know, I know. I just feel inclined to, you know?"

There was a pause, long enough for tension to brew.

"As long as that's all, Valmir"

There was a hint of warning in the voice Loki recognised as Byleister, and the footsteps retreated again. Finally, Loki opened his eyes to the familiar room around him. He lay in the central, circular bed, built for a giant much larger than himself. He was draped in furs and silks, as usual for him sleeping. A soft blue light emitted from the high ceiling, and cast faint shadows as Loki stepped out of the bed. He felt achey, but the weakness from his limbs has left him. He walked over to a dresser, and poured cool water into a glass, a little too large for his hands and gulped the lot down. He stretched and caught sight of himself in the mirror across the room, the movement catching his eye. He hadn't noticed walking from the bed, but someone had undressed him. He could only hope it was a relative... 

He padded back to bed and flopped down onto it, rolling over in the silk.  _Three days._ He thought.  _I'm sure there's no harm in sleeping in a little longer._ All in all Loki was pleased with how his last waking day had gone. Master the basics of Jotun magic: check. Flirt with attractive red head: check. Defeat arsehat in combat and earn some respect amongst his own kind: Check, although it had definitely not been present on any 'to-do' list Loki may have had. 

Just moments after he'd returned the bed, a soft knock came from the door. 

"Loki is that you? Are you awake?" 

Valmir of course. Loki smiled and left out a soft  _mmmhmmm._

"Can I come in?"

Loki repeated his affirmation and sat up, wrapped in the silks and a sheepish Valmir walked in, and the door clicked closed behind him. He looked awkward and began to stammer apologies. Loki held his hand up to stop him, and patted the bed beside him. 

"Really, Valmir, it's fine. All in all, couldn't be happier with how the day went."

"Well, I guess I can't be surprised. You're all the guardroom can talk about. You should know it took three of us to arrest Vulket and bring him into the prisons last time.." Perhaps it wasn't true and he said it out of flattery, but it made Loki glow with pride none the less. 

Valmir had sat on the bed, perhaps a little closer than Loki anticipated, and those feelings from their corner in the Hive began to bubble up again. He'd been in Jotunheim for a matter of a few months now, getting used to his new body, and how his own kind had a certain effect on it. Particularly, the red head now sharing his bed. Perhaps he could read Loki's face well, or gods forbid, there was in face a tell tale sign that a Jotun had the horn, but Valmir stretched out on his side and propped his head up on his hand. 

"How are you feeling?" Valmir asked. Loki could swore his voice had dropped an octave, and the soft curve of his new smile drew his eye. The overall effect appeared to be going straight to his legs. 

"I ache, my muscles are sore. But other than that, I feel fine. Honestly." He added the last word in response to Valmir raising an eyebrow. It drew attention to the wiry red lock of hair that had fallen onto his forehead. Loki reached out, and pushed it back, brushing one of his horns as he did so. Valmir immediately looked shocked, a deep blue blush settled across his face. He snapped his mouth shut, swallowed and said;

"Well now you're  _awfully forward_ aren't you?!"

Loki didn't know what to say, but ventured. "I'm... sorry?" the question of it hanging in the air. 

"Loki, you have... been told about Jotun etiquette haven't you?" He nodded in response. It was too soon to forget even the tedium of it all.

"And about, you know, horns...." he continued. Loki's nodding stopped, and he shook his head. Valmir let out a shaky laugh and shook his head.

"You know it's and incredibly _intimate_ act to touch someone else's horns, _my prince_ ".  He finished jokingly, more than mocking, and it made Loki smile, despite letting out a snort of derision. 

"You Jotun's and your strange customs" He joked back, only for Valmir to roll his eyes. Loki didn't see the big deal. He'd inspected the small nubs on his forehead after almost immediately arriving in Jotunheim. Really, they were just an extension of his skull... The only difference he'd noticed was that in his short time here, they had grown out a little, in to short sharp points reaching just beyond his hairline. 

Valmir sat up to face Loki (the latter being acutely aware of how close they were sitting) and raised his hands to just either side of Loki's head. He gave Loki a look they said 'are you sure?" and he nodded in response. He placed his hands either side of his head, thumbs hovering over his horns and paused, checking Loki's expression, which frankly was bemused. 

Slowly, he pressed the pads of his thumbs into the base of his horns, and pushed them up and over the tips with gentle pressure. The effect was instantaneous. Loki couldn't contain the gasp that left his lips and he could feel the deep blue settling into his cheeks.  _Well THAT was unexpected_. His horns had felt nothing when he'd inspected them but now? He hadn't know they would be so sensitive. The stimulation had gone straight to his groin, he might as well have been touched there for the effect it had had. He was hard beneath his silks, and so unfamiliarly  _wet._ He looked up to Valmirs face, who himself looked a little apologetic. He had realised Loki had no idea what it entailed. He smirked as Loki's hand came up to touch the protrusions for himself, to have simply no effect. 

"It's uh, sort of only works with someone else. Bit of a 'I'll scratch your back you scratch mine' sort of thing really..."

The silence between them was brief, as Loki went to kneel from a sit, put his hands on Valmir's shoulders and pressed their lips together. Almost instantly the larger Jotun wrapped his arms around Loki and brought their bodies flush together. In the heat of it all, Loki had forgotten his state of undress and not noticed the silks slip away from him, as his hard member pressed into the hard abs of his companion. 

"Oh  _Loki_ " Valmir moaned into his lips, and pulled the prince into his lap. Loki settled to wrapping his legs around his waist and enjoyed the feeling of being held so close to one of his kind. He unclipped the furs from Valmirs shoulder and the left with a heavy thud behind them. Valmir's arms briefly left Loki, who complained briefly into their kiss, to come between them, unclip his skirts and swing them across the room. He returned his arms to pull Loki close, who could now feel Valmirs own hardness beneath him. After what could have been seconds or and eternity of pressing against each other and lips never parting, Valmirs hand came up to steady Loki's head as he broke the kiss. His eyes stayed closed, he tipped Loki's head up and his down to roll their foreheads together, and then pressed together the base of their horns. 

They both cried out and Loki felt the ache between his legs far outweigh the ones in the rest of his muscles. He leant back, and it was laughable to think his weight would have been enough to pull Valmir on top of him, but Valmir followed his lead, and Loki found himself on his back, with his hot red head between his legs. He squeezed him closer as he wrapped his legs around him and Valmir laughed softly into his neck.

"So  _eager_ my prince.." He murmured into the skin, and Loki felt a hand slide between them. He cried out in pleasure, as he felt a thick finger from Valmir slip inside of him. It was something he hadn't dare do himself yet, he was too uncertain of it all, but it felt so,  _intimate_ to have someone else inside of him. Valmir pressed, and twisted until Loki was keening and cried out, 

" _Enoughhh"_ it was more of a moan than any real word, but his hand settled beside Loki to prop him up as the other moved to line himself up. Loki made the mistake of looking down, to see Valmir's considerable larger cock than his own press against his opening. The sensation was wonderful, and before Loki could worry about their mismatch, he was pressing inside of him. 

Loki had often wondered what the women of Asgard had meant when they had said enough to Loki's teasing and they just had to feel  _filled._ Loki no longer wondered. His head rolled back, as he dug his nails into Valmir's shoulders and let out a long, needy moan. As Valmir began to move inside him, he wasn't even sure what he was babbling about, but on reflection later he could say with confidence it consisted of 'YES' 'MORE' and ' _feels soooo goood'._ Loki was beyond shame or manners or any propriety. The feeling of Valmir moving in and out of him, the thick girth of him rubbing every inch of his walls was driving him crazy, coupled with the pressure of his stomach and weight shifting against his cock. 

Valmir swore, and Loki met his eye to see a smirk. " _Close"_ was all the red head could say, as he groaned deeply into Loki's ear. The hand that had held his thigh slipped between them. and began stroking Loki. 

Loki had decided being twice the gender meant twice the fun. Every thrust and every stroke sent him higher and higher. He felt himself teetering on the edge of release when Valmir cried out in ecstasy above him, Loki followed in suit, spilling between them. 

Panting, sweaty and thoroughly satisfied. Valmir rolled to collapse on the bed next to him, Loki grateful it was not atop him, he doubt he could shift the larger Jotun in his current state. They lay like that, trying to regain their breath, and Loki trying to think of something to say... 

He thought he'd finally settled on something, when a soft chime came from within the room in the region of Valmir's discarded clothes. 

" _SHIT"_ he said. " _shit shit shit shit"_

He had leapt out of bed and thrown his skirts back around him before Loki had even managed to sit up and pull the silks back around him. Valmir had returned to the bed to retrieve his furs when he met Loki's very confused face. 

"Guard change. Now. Supposed to be, you know.  _Guarding."_ Loki smirked at him in response. Valmir winked at him, now fully dressed and walking backwards towards the door. "Rest up well,  _my prince"_ he added, and with that he was through the door and Loki was alone again. A minute or too passed, and Loki heard footsteps again, as a new guard took Valmirs place. 

Another minute or too passed again as Loki sat there, regarding Valmir's last remark. Was it him, or did that time, Valmir actually sounded mocking...?

 

*****

 

Loki took the opportunity to wash and compose himself before leaving his room. No doubt his brothers wanted to see him (or at the very least, Helblindi probably wanted to) and he felt the need to stretch his legs. He stepped outside of his room, and nodded at the guard there, who smiled back at him. Loki paused. That was unusual... normally he received no more than a curt nod in return. He decided to think nothing of it, and headed down the hall. Judging by the redness the light held to it, it was near evening time, and his brothers would no doubt be dining in the hall. It may not have been the most direct route, but Loki felt compelled to pass the guardroom on his was there. Perhaps just to glimpse Valmir, share a smile, something else sickeningly sweet to think of.. 

He had to admit, it was hard to keep the smile off of his face. He felt warm inside, a fact if someone had told him they felt that way, he would have been nothing but condescending. There was a buzz to him, and not merely that post coitus glow he so often loved. He felt,  _at home._ He really was, amongst his own kind. His brethren. Perhaps, this had always been the reason he had never made a connection with anyone on Asgard. It was simply biology.  _Everyone except one.._ said a niggling voice at the back of his head. But he ignored it. He was in far too good a mood to be thinking of his past. 

Just as he was thinking he might be lost, he saw a guard up ahead and followed him to large set of grungy ice doors, the surface no longer polished like the rest of the palace. As the guard stepped inside, Loki waited outside realising stupidly, that of course the room would be full. Perhaps not the place for a chance meeting... 

The door swung shut, but Loki could hear clearly the conversations inside. 

"Tagger! Have you heard the news!" a voice shouted above the rest. "Our dear Valmir has joined a rather exclusive club"

"Valmir shagged a prince" Cried another impatient voice in the room, and a cheer went up around the guards. 

"Oh  _Valmir_ " said who Loki assumed to be Tagger. "We all knew you had it in you lad!" 

"The poor bastard didn't even know about his horns!"

"Apparently he's all in proportion, if you know what I mean"

"OH ho Val you are in  _trouble_ if this leaves the guards"

"Hey Val, how much did you win from that little wager with Dunst?!"

And then he spoke. "Nigh on 50 silvers I think you'll find. Easy money I tell you, felt like I was robbing the bastard when I made the deal. Talk about thirsty.." The red head sounded triumphant. 

"Poor bastard deserved at least a decent first time Val" 

"What are you trying to say Dunst, you shitbag?"

"HAH. I remember what you're last bed partner said. Bet you that fifty back he won't let you back between his legs out of pure  _disappointment"_

"You're on, stupid bastard" Valmir said defiantly, as jeers went around the room. 

 

 

Loki stood there. Hollow. It was if someone had gutted him, and let the warmth flow out. He could almost feel the cold beneath his feet. His heart was hammering and he felt a hotness in the back of his throat he knew all too well. He cheeks were burning with shame. Even amongst friends on Asgard, he'd have been embarrassed. It was one thing to kiss and tell, but to have all you most intimate encounters  _exploited_ as a joke, as someone's entertainment...

Had the room been filled with six foot lancers and an Asgardian mage, he'd have walked right in there and tore up the place. But it wasn't. It was filled with Jotuns. Guards at that. Larger than life military brutes with the ability to ease magic as he did, and with more experience. 

He couldn't help the wetness to his eyes out of shame. He was so,  _angry._ At himself, at Valmir. At the whole goddammed situation. He let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He dropped his head, and silently walked away.

For the first time since he landed in Jotunheim, Loki couldn't help himself. He felt small. 

 

*****

 

He had wandered the castle aimlessly for almost an hour, when he found himself approaching the hall. Raised voices inside made him stop in his tracks. It was By' and Hel'. 

_"OH ho Val you are in trouble if this leaves the guards"_

Perhaps news had already reached his family? He wasn't sure who would receive the worst of it, Valmir for daring or Loki for being stupid enough. Slowly he crept towards the door. Eavesdropping had not bode well for him today, but old habits die hard... 

"Hel, how can you be stupid enough to outright reject a proposal like that?"

"If a man offers you power, wanting naught in return By, it's too good to be true"

"Well maybe he hates the Asgardians as much as we do!"

"it's not just Asgardians By, it's the Midgardians too..."

"Like we've ever had a problem waging war in the past. We're Jotun. It's what we do"

"It's what we  _did_ By. It's not something we take lightly, and it's certainly not something we do on the order of whoever this Thanos may be"

"We lost the casket, this is our chance Hel. This is our chance to regain our honour"

"Honour? Is that what you think to war, By? Honour? I was older than you back then, I remember what it was like. But I'd though even you'd remember the pain of losing our mother"

"DON'T you bring him into this!" By yelled back. "This is about now, about our future as a realm!"

"And we should always look to the past for lessons, Hel. Father taught us well, it wouldn't do to cast out reason, especially at a time like this. No doubt our father has already an opinion on the matter."

"Then why ask our council on it?" By replied, referring to their meeting with him 3 days past. 

"Because one day, one of us will lead this realm. Just because we're fully grown doesn't mean he stops teaching us."

"You mean  _you'll_ lead the realm brother" By said, but Loki couldn't help notice the pride in his voice, and the absolute lack of malice. 

"Not if I die, in a pointless war for a pointless man. This Thanos character-"

Loki could stand to hear no more. He had considered taking himself back to bed, but he was in no hurry to return to the room and his stomach reminded him it had not been fed in over three days. The name Thanos may have made him feel sick to his stomach once, but he was weary with the world right now, and the smell of roast had begun to filter from under the ice doors. He found his brothers sat opposite at the top of the table, their conversation ceased the second he walked in the room. 

"Sleeping beauty returns to us" said By, dryly as he poured himself a glass of wine. 

Helblindi took on the expression of an impending lecture and opened his mouth to speak, but Loki threw a look that silenced him. 

"If you're interested in giving a lecture Hel, I'm not in the mood, so go find someone else to run your mouth at" he snapped. His brothers were quiet. Thor might have been used to Loki's foul outbursts, and perhaps By' had seen a less friendly side to him, but since arriving he and Hel had gotten on well, and Loki was very fond of his eldest brother. The way he spoke had shocked Loki, as well as the others. 

"Whats happened?" Hel asked bluntly, concerned. Loki had sat and was piling his plate with food, to sate his hunger, and more so to start eating his feelings. 

"It's nothing"

"Doesn't seem to be nothing. Is this about the hive? I told Valmir-"

Loki must have scowled at the mention of his name as he tore another chunk from the bread on the table and stuffed it into his mouth. By' noticed, and he stared intently at Loki before slamming his drink down and cutting Hel off mid sentence. 

"Byleister?" Hel ventured, looking confused between the two of them. Loki continued to stare resolutely into the food in front of him as By's eyes bored into him. Without a word, Byleister stood and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind. Loki had no doubt that By suspected what had transpired, even if he didn't quite know why Loki was so upset. 

Loki sighed, exhausted and drained a Jotun sized glass of wine, and Hel gaped between him and the door swinging closed. 


	8. Water's sweet, but blood is thicker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a guy just needs to be by himself. It's not dangerous at all. Really.

Loki spent the next day in a haze of shame. He'd returned to his rooms, stomach full and out of tolerance for Hels awkward conversation and painful silences. He'd thrown off the furs and silks that may have stank of  _him,_ and slept on the hard ice in his skirts. 

He hadn't left fore breakfast either the next day, and as he heard the guard change outside his door he rolled over to face away from it and groaned inwardly. How the hell was he supposed to walk past another guard again without dying inside a little more? The whole experience left him cringing. Perhaps an hour passed, before he heard footsteps approach once more and his door open and close. 

He didn't turn to face them. He could only assume it was a brother, no one else would have the audacity to enter his chambers otherwise. Except Laufey. Oh gods if it was Laufey... The ice might has swell swallow him while now. 

"I know you're awake, Loki" his voice was soft, and cautious.  _At least it's Helblindi_ he thought. Of his three options, this was possibly the better. 

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "You know, don't you" he said. It wasn't a question, just a statement. 

"Yeah" he said. Sitting on the edge of Loki's hard, icy bed. The ice beneath him crunched a little with the weight. "I do, Byleister does, obviously. He knew from one look at you yesterday. And the guards. It hasn't gotten any further. If Father found out, about this, or the Hive. Well Val would be executed, and I dare say myself and By wouldn't fare much better." He placed a plate of food on the bed. "I brought you some breakfast" He added. 

Loki felt irrationally irate at his brother not using Valmir's full name. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. When Loki said nothing, Hel continued. 

"By went and found him in the guard hall, told him he needed a drinking buddy after arguing with me all afternoon. You'd be surprised but your brother is one who would avoid making a scene..." He paused, as if considering how best to continue the tale. "Well I found them both in your brothers quarter. Val out cold on the floor and your brother, drink in had looking pissed off. Val told us what you to had.. Well you know. Couldn't fathom why you'd have been upset actually. So By knocked his lights out, out of pure annoyance I think really. Anyway he came round to find us both sitting there. Your brother did the thing were, you know he comes over all friendly like-" he paused as Loki finally looked at him, face full of disbelief.

"Well, ahh, you wouldn't know. Anyway, it means he's _beyond pissed off_. Asked Val why he had taken to your bed, plain as day. Val knows your brother better than most, I mean they're normally close friends, even I have been fond of him in the past..." He trailed off as he caught sight of Loki's expression and cleared his throat,.

"Yes well, Valmir went on to tell us how he thought you two had some chemistry, he'd seen the way you were looking at him, wasn't the first time he'd told of us of such mind" Loki felt his cheeks flush again. "By offered to walk into the guardroom to see if that was all to it, so he came clean..." Loki hmmmm'd with disapproval. 

"What.. What do _you_ know?" He asked Him. Loki sighed and finally sat up to look at his brother. 

"Oh you know. It was princely appeal. Bragging rites. A wager." He spat out bitterly. Hel let out almost a sigh of relief. 

"Yeah that's the lot of it. How-"

"Overheard them in the guardroom." Loki answered his unfinished question. 

"By thought as much, really, he knows you better than you both think. You two are more alike than you'd know" he said it light heartedly, as if to lighten the mood but it had no effect. 

"Valmir, he was horrified when he realised you knew Loki. Really."

"Yeah I bet, he had another fifty riding on getting back in my bed." 

An uneasy silence settled between them. "I'm an idiot. I... Hel I've _never_ been this stupid I don't know what got into me..."

it was true. Loki liked the think his emotions very rarely got the better of him. Until the past few years, it had always been the case... 

"You and me both" Hel replied grimly. Loki looked at him them, bemused. "Valmir likes to think he belongs to an exclusive club, but he's not the only member." He was smiling, knowingly now. "Yeah yeah.. I was stupid too once. Fell for a guy, hard. Not the first time I'd slept with anyone, but it was the first guard... Oh the _embarrassment_. I didn't realise how the brutes would parade their stories about the place, and every little detail... " Loki flopped back down on the bed and groaned, throwing an arm over his face "Sorry _sorry_!" He groaned, forgetting briefly how soon it had all been for Loki. 

"It's bad now. But it blows over. Loki you're at liberty to sleep with whomever you like, I don't know how it was for you before, but Laufey doesn't really care nor think about who might be in our bedroom. Or really what we do or where we go... But might I suggest someone with a bit more class next time.." He ventured. Loki laughed.

"Like who" he snorted. Apart from his brothers and Laufey, no one else occupied the palace. 

"Lords. Dukes. High society, we do have all a that you know." He said as once again, Loki looked at him with disbelief. "We've been nannying you too much." He finally admitted. "The hive was proof enough of that. It's time we got you out of the palace, seeing places meeting people. No wonder you attached yourself to a guard I mean literally who else is there..."

His mention of the hive reminded Loki of something that had been burdening him. "Hel, look, about the Solar and the magic, I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"it's forgiven and forgotten. I should have listened to you. Besides, I'm quite eager to see how you fare against me now, brother." he said with a feral grin and flexed his bicep at Loki, who couldn't help but laugh. "I'm keen to see just how far you can push your magic, who knows, you might even be better than me. Father will be thrilled." His last sentence was said with earnest and they fell into an easy silence for a few minutes.

"I haven't seen By that angry before" Loki mused aloud. 

"When it... When it happened to me, I didn't leave my room for days. Couldn't face it, the palace is so full of the smug bastards. At first By thought it was funny, until I wasn't myself any more. Then he took it personally. He's fiercely protective of his family, you know.

"I was fairly certain that didn't extend to me" 

"He's a gruff exterior I know, you'd think he didn't have a heart, but he _does_ care. Deep down. Besides, you can't believe how fond he was of you after than stunt in the hive. He listened to the story from the guards at least three times over. I dare say he was proud."

"Is this despite wanting to whore me out to Val" Loki drawled out, derisively, not forgetting their first meeting as brothers.

"Like I said Loki, Val had mentioned he'd seen you looking.. If By likes anything, it's to cause trouble. He never once thought Val would do, well, what he did." 

Loki sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Hel patted his leg with his enormous hand. 

"At least come down for lunch later, get out of your rooms, otherwise you'll have By in here to talk about your _feelings_ , and that's the last thing either of you want.." Loki grimaced at the thought and nodded. Hel upped, and left without another word, just a warm smile at the door. 

Loki sat up and began to eat, and couldn't help but think of how he might have more in common with By than he first thought. 

 

*****

 

Panic was rising in Loki's chest. The sun had moved from midday and he knew night would be upon him in a few hours. He span round, skirts clattering loudly in the silent forest, made entirely of  thousands of icy spires that rose up a hundred feet above him, and yet only meters apart. Every direction looked the same, and he cursed himself for not having marked the way he came. He tried to recall how in the last twelve hours he'd ended up in such a dire situation. 

He'd left his rooms not long after eating and decided to walk around the palace. He could do it. It would be, tolerable. The guard outside his door had automatically smirked down at him, causing him to blush and he'd hurried away. Similarly at the end of the hall, he'd passed two guards walking the other way, who had silenced upon seeing him, and picked up a hurried and hushed conversation as he got out of earshot. It was unbearable. After that, Loki had taken every twist and turn to avoid walking past any more of them, until he found himself on a terrace at the back of the palace, somewhere he had never been. Leaning out over the low walls, he peered out into Jotunheim. He couldn't recall having ever seen out from this side of the palace. He really had done a great job of getting lost... but out in front of him lay a vast expanse of icy spires, the closest which lay a mere kilometres walk away. From a distance it looked like a forest of ice, and the way the shafts of light that broke through the clouds ricocheted between the prisms looked beautiful from this far away.

The wind whistled between them, and sounded soothing. From this point just above them, the only end he could discern from the features on the land, was the haze of snow capped mountains in the distance. After deciding it was still far too early to hunt down his brothers, or even face the guards again, he had hopped over the wall and made his was down the snowy hillside to the first of them. 

It was strange, there was no snow on the ground, just smooth, unmarked ice. The spires themselves just grew up, out of the ground, starting smooth, until the reached jagged peaks hundreds of feet above him. He hadn't been wrong, the light between them was stunning, even if all the way down on the ground it was darkened, like under a canopy. The air between them was noticibly warmer, and beads of condensation covered the bottom of each spire, extending to perhaps twice Loki's height. It was one of the strangest places Loki had seen. 

So he had ventured in further, striding with confidence. 

And further. 

And the spires had grown closer.

And the ground had gotten darker. 

And now the jagged peaks had started to grow orange from the setting sun, and Loki had no clue as to which direction took him back home. 

The air was growing colder, and the beads of water had begin to freeze. The chill was even starting to settle into his skin, and he'd never been cold on Jotunheim before... His heart was racing as he stood there alone. He closed his eyes and raised his face, leaning back on to one of the spires. 

_Panic won't solve anything now will it, Loki._

Not something useful from his calming centre. Then again when did anything useful ever leave his mouth... 

_It will be dark soon, brother._

Pointing out the obvious. Classic Thor. He stood and waiting for his memory to bring something useful to the table. 

_It's just like in the forests of  Vanaheim, when we went hunting and caught nothing, and then we couldn't start a fire and you had to sit there all night with your hands aglow!_

_Yes, very useful. If only I had Aesir magic still.._ Loki mused. The imaginary retort seem to silence the Thor in his mind. His magic has returned to him fully since his fight in the Hive. He had a thought... he had not tried Aesir magic since training in Ice, and he had recovered much of his power since..

Eyes still closed he held his hands out, and tried summoning what would once have been a ball of light. He was disappointed to hear the crackling of ice and the weight of it in his hands, but as he opened his eyes he saw the familiar blue glow of the lights around the palace coming from this ice in his palms. Not quite what he had hoped, but served the right purpose. At least he would not be in the dark until morning. He pushed off from the spire, knocking off a large amount of the frozen beads as he did. He wiped his back, planning on taking up a walk again, when something caught his eye. He could finally see the clear surface of the spire, and within the centre lay...  _something._

He peered into it, face right up against its surface, not quite able to make it out. Until he cast another glowing sphere in his hand. Which illuminated the face of a fellow Jotun. 

He cried out and backed away instantly. The forest remained un-phased. He crept back, to observe once more, wiping more of the surface clear. The man had been kneeling and was peering straight up. Loki made the safe assumption the man frozen was indeed a corpse. 

A sudden, horrifying thought came to mind. After wiping clear a few more of the spires, it confirmed his worst fear. 

Every spire held a dead Jotun. 

_I need to get out of here... now_

He was beyond panic. Complete fear had set in. The once beautiful landscape had transformed into the stuff of nightmares, the peaks now deep, angry red like the eyes of the Jotuns around him. Like a honey trap, they had lured him in and now he had no way out. The long shadows trailed out like fingertips reaching for him and he was spinning, he could almost feel the bile rising in his throat-

_The SHADOWS Loki_

He hadn't even been calm, and he wasn't sure which part of his mind had decided to produce something useful in the form of Thors' deep, calming drawl. He turned, and followed the paths of the shadows, trying to prise from his mind what was so important. 

_The shadows..._

The penny dropped. From the royal balcony, at the very forefront of the castle, Loki had marvelled at how the topmost peak of palace would cast a shadow that ran directly down the icy bridge that led to the front gates. If the shadow from the top of the castle ran directly in front of it, and the forest lay directly behind...

 _"The shadows point straight back to home"_ he said aloud, the words sounding strange in the silence. For a moment he didn't move, until he met the gaze of a cold, dead brethren, and he set off in a sprint in the direction of sanctuary. 

 

*****

 

"Well I'm not going looking for him" By sneered, sprawled over his bed reading. Hel had sought him out after Loki had been absent from both lunch  _and_ dinner. Even Helblindi himself had been unconcerned until he had found Loki's room empty and the guard reported he'd been out all day. That's when had returned to his other brother... 

"By he's not in his rooms and no one has seen him. I'm worried, I really am." He'd been to the guardroom to ask around, worried. Val hadn't quite met his eye and made no remark. 

"Look. He's embarrassed. Hel I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone out to the Hive to knock a few heads. I know that'd make me feel better."

"He's not you, By. He's our little brother-"

"Stop babying him Hel. You know he can handle himself. We both do. Just give him some bloody space, gods I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone out for some breathing room from you" Hel sighed, irritated. By meant nothing by it, he said things as he saw them and perhaps there was some truth in his words...

By sat up after a few minutes as Hel was still stood there, chewing his lip. 

"Look I can see you're worried. He's made of strong stuff Hel. He might have had a golden spoon up his arse on Asgard for a millennia, but we heard of his fight on Svartalfheim. He's a grown man."

"Now _you're_ patronising  _me._ " Hel huffed out. "He's my brother By and I love him as dearly as I do you." He hadn't said it aloud before, but he'd known for a while now. Loki may have been lost to them once, but Hel wasn't going to let anyone take their brother again. By had a knowing smile on his face and  _hmmm'd_ in response. Hel couldn't help grinning at him, it was how By usually agreed with him. 

The smile on his face took a sad turn as By sighed. "I just wish..." and he trailed off.

Hel waited patiently. By hadn't been the most welcoming of Loki, and he'd been waiting for him to open up for weeks. By was as stubborn as the Tanng goats. You didn't force him to do anything, and it'd led to Hel's saintly patience he had today. 

"I wish he'd never left." By finished lamely, and Hel couldn't keep the surprise off of his face. "Every time he's about it's a reminder those bastards took him from us. Can you imagine if he'd grown up with us? Gods if he'd even just been allowed to  _grow._ He'd be stood with us, shoulder to shoulder. He'd have been there, the time we managed to sneak into the Hive as adolescents, or stolen armour from the guard store when we played warriors as children, or the time we trapped a Dreki and rode it, but it took us back to it's lair and our Father just got there in time to stop us being eaten..." By' trailed off his ramblings with a shrug. "Every time Hel. Every time I see him, and we're explaining something new, or he says something, and it's so  _Asgardian"_ he spat the last word out. "It reminds me we're never going to have those years back. He's never going to stand equal at our side. The realm will never see him, not for the prince he is, that we know he is." 

He'd dropped his book to the floor in a huff, and looked annoyed as Hel was beaming at him.

"By you are  _such_ a big softy" he laughed, and sat next to him. 

"You know if you tell him that I'll kill you in you sleep" he drawled, which only made Hel laugh more. 

"We've got him now. That's what matters. I just hope he knows he's family to us..."

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, until running footsteps came and Valmir came crashing through the door. By almost made to be angry until he saw his eyes brimming and the absolute terror on his face. He was gasping.

"Footprints" he gasped. "The guards found footprints,  _Loki sized footprints_ outside the castle!" he looked between them in horror. Hel raised an eyebrow and said;

"Val it's ok, he's allowed outside you know. I'm surprised it took him this long to-"

"You don't understand!" he cut him off, and Hel felt a pang of annoyance as the guard spoke over him, friend or not. "The  _killing fields_ Helblindi, they go  _straight into the killing fields."_

The brothers looked at each other in horrified. The looked out the window simultaneously to see the sun almost setting. Hel stood up, shaking, as By sat there murmuring  _no no no no no ...._

"Val get our Father.  _Now._ Tell him what happened." The snap of authority in his voice was enough to make Valmir act instantly. "By, come on" His brother looked at him hopelessly.

"To do  _what_ Hel? Geez it's nearly night, there's not even an hour of sunlight left out there.. Oh god-" he said almost hysterically as he raked his hands through his hair. "Was he... I mean do you think he went in on purpose? Is he that upset? Oh god we should have made sure he was ok" By's voice was breaking, Hel could sense we was moments away from freaking out. Hel took him by the arm and was striding out of the room toward the terrace at the back of the castle.

"He didn't know. I never told him what it was, I thought it was too soon after what Father said..." By ripped his hand from Hel as he said it. 

" _Too soon?!_ Hel he's going to  _die_ out there. Jotunheim is  _fucking dangerous_ how could you not tell him?" In response to the terror, By had turned to anger. 

"Father said not to." Hel said sadly. "He was raised in the sunshine realm, Byleister.. Father didn't want him to hear of all the horrors of our own realm too soon and miss the bloody place..." he said sadly, as he dragged By once more. 

"Where are we going?" By asked, happy to be led. 

"We have to do something By..." Byleister stopped in his tracks again, horrified.

"We'll die if we go in there, Hel..."

" _I KNOW THAT"_ said Helblindi, irritated now at his brothers stalling. "Gods we can at least shout to him,  _anything_  to help. He might have stopped just a little ways in and he has no idea what.... what will"

They looked at each other, and began to run side by side to save their brother.

 

*****

 

The slapping of his feet on the ice, the burning of every breath in his lungs and ringing in his ears were the overruling sensations for Loki, as he was sprinting back to safety. He could have sworn the spires were starting to thin out as the feeling of claustrophobia eased. There was very little light left, and his muscles burned. The thought of stopping for breath didn't even cross his mind. He wanted out of this place.  _Now._

Over the sound of him panting and the blood thundering in his ears, he could hear shouting up ahead.  _Keep going_ he told himself. He had to be nearly out. Moments later he recognised two of the voices, his brothers.  _I must have worried them..._ he thought, a spasm of guilt somewhere in is gut. A refreshing change from the terror. A third voice he couldn't place. Until he got close enough to make out that there were crying out his name. It took a moment, with the exhaustion, but with trepidation Loki recognised the loudest of the three. 

Laufey. 

He might not die in the forest tonight, but he wasn't sure whether or not his Father would kill him upon is return... he sounded furious. Any fear for his father was suddenly wiped out, as he felt the oddest sensation beneath his feet. Tacky almost. The skin was being pulled with every step. 

He was sticking to the ice. 

A new wave of panic swept over him and he screamed out Helblindi's name. Suddenly, up ahead he could see the lights from the palace.  _So close_ he thought, breaths ragged. Then he saw them. His father and brothers stood atop the terrace he'd leapt from before, crying out to him. With them stood two guards surveying the landscape for any sign of life, and very distraught looking Valmir, hands in his hair and eyes wide. 

" _LOKI"_ Hel cried, as he finally cleared the last of the spires and was heading to the fresh snow. His feet were still sticking, and pain shot through them with every step. Hel had already jumped the wall and was cascading down the slope through fresh powdered snow toward him. As said snow crunched below him he felt sweet relief in his feet, and a few metres later he met Hel, who grabbed him harshly and pulled him into a crushing embrace. 

" _Loki Loki Loki..."_ he was muttering his name as he held Loki against his chest. Loki was thrown back by the sudden show of endearment. Other than perhaps a clasp of his hand, even Hel being his most friendly family member had never shown such an outburst. He was kneeling and Loki's head was propped on his shoulder. He could see the silhouette of three people looking down on them. Hel didn't let go for a few minutes, and as he recovered his breath Loki realised he wasn't the only one trembling. 

"Hel I'm ok" He said shakily, as his brother hadn't let go. Slowly Hel put a hand on each of Loki's shoulders and held him to look into his face, searching. Loki felt embarrassed as he noticed a wetness to his brothers cheeks, and was at a loss as to what to say. Apparently so was Hel. 

" _UNLESS YOU IDIOTS ARE THINKING OF A SUICIDE PACT CAN YOU PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF A BROTHER, GET THE HELL BACK UP HERE"_ By roared down at them. The silence broke between them as they both laughed with relief. As Loki went to take another step he felt fresh pain in his feet, and looked at the bloody footprints he left behind. Hel was already climbing back up so Loki followed suit until he reached the level of the terrace, and his father pulled him over, picked him up and held him close. 

Loki felt awkward. Odin had never shown his affection to him and Thor with an embrace, perhaps a clap on the back if he was feeling particularly emotional. As Laufey put him down he was more surprised as By took hold of him, relief etched into the lines of his face. 

"Your feet..." Hel said, as he noticed the blood. Laufey picked Loki up once more, and held him with his head over his shoulder. 

"Helblindi, Byleister. With me" Laufey said, as he led them back indoors. 

 

*****

 

Once again, Loki found himself wrapped in furs in an unfamiliar room. Laufey had taken them back to  _his own_ rooms. A large, glowing ice crystal in the middle of the room, in place of an open fire on Asgard, and seats around. Ornate carvings in the walls, exquisitely ice carved furniture about the place, and several hallways leading off into the unknown. 

Loki had a Loki-sized cup of mead in his hands, filled for the second time, and he had finally stopped shaking. After an agonising walk to the room being carried by his father, Laufey had bandaged his feet himself and placed Loki on one of the seats, wrapping him in the furs from his own shoulders. Helblindi and Byleister had sat either side of him, but on the floor as to make him at head height, legs stretched out in front of them. Laufey had barked at Valmir to fetch the mead from his stores, and after several glasses in silence (poured by a very shaky Valmir, who now held the bottle awkwardly in the corner of the room) Loki's family turned to him, asking what had possessed him to enter the killing fields. 

Loki stared as his father, sat opposite them. He told them how he'd simply wished to explore the outside the palace, and they had look, well, beautiful from a distance, and he had quickly been lost inside... They fell into silence before Laufey drained his glass and spoke.

"We've kept a lot from you Loki. No doubt you assumed. Our intention was not hide the truth from you, to make you an outsider Loki, not at all. Jotunheim is not like Asgard, Loki. In fact, it is quite the opposite. It's a hostile place, full of darkness and danger. The creatures here, are not easily trained, and even those that we do could turn on someone unfamiliar with their handling. We wanted you to settle, before we spoke of the problems of the realm. We, well,  _I_ wanted, I wanted you to think of this as home. I worried if you knew all of our realms darkest secrets, perhaps you would never feel comfortable here..."

After the fear of the day, Loki had finally calmed enough to be annoyed.

"Might have been prudent to fill me in on the death trap we have in the back garden..." he said, with less venom than he could usually muster. Byleister made a noise of agreement. Despite how he could have shouting matches with Odin on Asgard, he was finding it very hard feel resentment towards the family sat around him. 

"I know. I know." Laufey said. "You have every right to hate me for that, it was dangerous not to tell you... the killing fields are... one of kind within the nine realms."

Rather than admit to Laufey he felt quite the opposite to hating him, Loki did what he always did, and dug deeper into the truth. 

"What the  _hell_ are they?" he asked, settling back into his furs. Hel had held his hand out with glass to beckon Valmir for another drink. Loki noticed how his hands still shook. 

"They're older than anyone can remember, and the stories have varied over the years. But the legend at the heart of it all stays the same." Loki leaned onto Hel's shoulder slightly, settling in for the story, and noted the smile it brought to his brothers face. 

"The Jotun race used to be nomadic. There was no order, no ruling, and wars between clashing clans were commonplace. A group of which there is no particular name, were the first to cross an icy tundra, that we know lies just behind the palace today. Even without all the spires, the place lies in a trough of the land and it was sheltered from the elements. They settled for the night, and by morning, the land had taken them and the first spires had risen. In the early days, clans were so nomadic, no one knew the danger that lay in the land, and over the centuries the place grew. Bordered by natural landmarks, the mountains around them, the fields never grew larger, but the spires within them more dense."

"Thousands of years later, when the palace was built, it of course came to note than anyone who entered the land never returned should they spend the night. It was one particularly gruesome night, back when  _I_ was a child, someone stuck at the edge. We could see them from the palace, and we watched, and  _heard_ as the ice took them whole. I thought... I thought I might have to relive that tonight..." He finished shakily, looking a the light between them. A haunted look on his face. 

Loki had grown tired at his brothers side. Hel placed an arm around him, and By a hand on his leg. Loki placed his glass to one side and hugged his arms around him. He felt warm, and something else he couldn't place. He hummed to himself as he felt sleep was not far away. 

Laufey cleared his throat awkwardly, and stood to leave. Loki vaguely remembered him asking his brothers to escort him to bed, before he slipped away into the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I've gone quite 'off piste' with the whole Jotun thing. I just can't help myself! It's a whole icy world we barely got a taste of in the first Thor movie. 
> 
> I hope we're all feeling the brotherly love guys.
> 
> Come on now... group hug...


	9. Unwelcome guests.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An visitor from Loki's past becomes present, and the future of the realm seems uncertain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!
> 
> Also this chapter is supposed to be waaaay longer, but I've split it into two, so that you have something to read whilst I work on the second half, because it just doesn't want to be written....

The next day Helblindi had decided the most logical thing to do was hold an event at the palace to parade about Jotunheim's finest society. Loki didn't doubt it was to try and raise his spirits whilst his feet healed and he grew used to the idea of the murder tree's in the back yard. As Helblindi threw about invites, planned food and frankly, did all the sorts of things Frigga would do in a fluster before a big event, By had taken up the responsibility for telling Loki of all the horrors Jotunheim had to offer. Dangerous places, such as the ghost flows; glaciers which at any given time would cease to be stationary and flow like a river for a mile or so, like some icy-pyroclastic flow. Or the rocking blocks, that appeared like mountains and rocky terrain, but where in fact entirely made of ice, and as the glaciers moved below them, they had been known to lurch and trap unwary travellers.

He told Loki of the dreki, scaly monstrosities and the only creature known to fly on Jotenheim, renowned for picking off Jotun children. Loki suspected his father, or Hel hadn't yet decided Loki was ready to hear of all Jotunheim had to offer, but Byleister was quickly rattling through 101 ways to die. Loki felt he was trying to keep it light hearted and he kept making awkward jokes, but in reality the more By tried to make Loki understand how he might meet his sticky end, the more he felt at home. Each time Hel caught them talking, he'd break into a wide smile like a proud mother hen. 

Over the next week, Hel had sparred with Loki every other day in the Solar. Loki had felt confident after the Hive, Vulket had been as large as his brother. His confidence was poorly founded. After his time spent with his brothers, he had thought of Byleister as the warrior type, and Hel as more the politician. He was very, very wrong. At first, Hel had been frustratingly simple in how he'd keep Loki at bay, pin him (with either his hands or the ice) or send him flying; Loki's grace period of being the delicate little brother was over. But as Loki grew used to his new fighting style, Hel started to come into his own. The way he moved was like dancing, through stances and throwing fists, the ice moved like an extension of his body, and the power behind his blows was phenomenal. As Loki was sent flying over the ice to land unceremoniously on his behind, he came to rest sitting and looked at his eldest sibling. Hel stood, holding his next stance, breathing deeply and evenly. His muscles strained, and his skirts swinging from the momentum of his last move, eyes squarely fixed on Loki.  _Magnificent_ was the only word that came to mind, and even then Loki thought it did not do him justice. He crossed is legs and leaned back onto his hands, a sign he was done, and has Hel nodded and began to put the room back to it's original icy state, Loki couldn't help but feel immensely  _proud_ for his brother. A demon in a fight, polite, persuasive, and incredibly intelligent.  _He's going to make and incredible King,_ he thought to himself, and the thought made him smile. He had never seen such grace in a fighter before, even Thor could not compare. 

The day of Helblindi's shin-dig had arrived, and that morning Loki expected the palace to be a flurry of activity. On the contrary, it was eerily quiet. He plucked up the courage to ask a guard where he brothers where, to which he grimly replied 'throne room'. Loki had a bad feeling about this. As he approached the throne room, he heard voices, and his heart nearly stopped in his chest as, when he was about to walk through the door, Loki recognised the visitor who spoke; 

"King Laufey, I must ask, have you thought more on our proposal?"

He felt  a cold sweat on his brow, as he went reeling away from the door to slip behind an alcove still within earshot. There was only one man Loki would ever admit to fearing, and he was standing in the next room. 

 

Thanos. 

 

Loki had often thought of his failure on Midguard as he carried out his sentence in the Asgardian prisons. Of what Thanos might do should he ever managed to catch Loki. Since he rebirth as a Jotun, these thoughts could not have been further from his mind, however all his worries began flooding back. As he took a deep breath to steady himself, he realised he has missed his fathers response. 

"Need I remind you, Laufey, of what Jotenheim has to gain from such a merger..."

"You do not, and I dislike being hurr-"

"Perhaps my father understands what you have offered previously, but my brother and I would certainly appreciate to hear the finer details" Helblindi cut across. A silence followed, in which Loki could only assume Laufey followed with a wordless gesture of consent. 

"Asgard, the realm eternal, possess an artefact of which I am most keen to regain. It was lost to me, an error on my part understandably, in trusting a servant of mine may carry out the simplest of tasks... but no matter of the past. What is done is done, and I can only say that we find ourselves in a similar quandry, no? Asgard has which that we so desperately want back. Our own property, kept just out of our grasp. With my power, and your armies on Jotenheim, we can reclaim what is rightfully ours! The winter casket may be yours once more..."

"And why, pray tell, would you need  _our_ armies to accomplish this goal?" Helblindi pressed. In the presence of another power, the likes of a titan no less, Loki and Thor would never have spoken in turn of Odin. It only cemented in Loki's mind how ready to rule his eldest brother really was... 

"An excellent question, young prince." Thanos retorted. "Please bear in mind, that  my acquisition of my property is but a stepping stone on the path to my true goal... I would not expose my own armies, and reveal my hand too early in this game. Especially when the power of  Jotenheim is more than enough to destroy Asgard, and knock them from the skies in which they sit, so smugly, lording over all"

Whether flattery, or a mutual hatred of Asgard was Thanos' play, Laufey made no indication of if he was tempted by such an offer.

"You cannot expect me to make a decision, that would effect my entire realm, in the space of a few weeks. Go, and as before, I will be in contact when my decision is made"

Thanos said not another word, but Loki knew he had left when his family took up hurried conversation. 

 _"What is there to consider?!!"_ Byleister sounded excited. "We can have our glory back! All that which Asgard has taken! Father, what is there to lose? He claims to a be a  _Titan,_ he could truly defeat Odin once and for all.."

"He would not come to us should he have the power to defeat Asgard" Hel chipped in, "He has another agenda, and until he reveals it we would do well to act with caution..."

"You're brother is right, Byleister, we cannot be hasty. Even with the power of this, so-called-Titan, it is no lie we would lose hundreds in a war against Asgard. Just like we did before."

"But this time we could  _win_ father!" By exclaimed, and Loki saw him stood, gaping at his family and their hesitation in such an offer, as he stood out from his alcove to join his family. 

"Perhaps we should hear your youngest brothers opinion on the matter..." Laufey ventured, an ankle resting on the opposite knee, and lounging back in his throne before his sons. 

_"You cannot trust him"_

Perhaps it was the way his voice shook when he spoke, or the way he had sub-consciously wrapped his arms around himself, but his father sat up in his chair, and Helblindi made toward him to place a hand on his shoudler.

"You've had dealings with him before?" By ventured. 

"I was the... servant... that failed him before..." Loki started, and he regaled his tale of an unsuccessful war on earth, starting with how he had fallen into Thanos' command from Asgard, and how he had been promised a throne for his success, along with the fall of his former realm. 

When he had finished, Laufey was resting his head on his hands, and his brothers stared at their father expectantly. 

"This power, that he asked you to retrieve. What was it, Loki?"

He paused, before answering his father. The name itself might not mean anything to the Jotun King, but he didn't doubt he would know of its kind. "An infinity stone" He replied. 

Laufey started in surprise, and his brothers stared at him aghast.

"You have wielded the power of an infinity stone?" By started, but Laufey silenced him with just a hand, and gestured for Loki to continue. 

"The first, the tesseract, I used to travel between worlds, but no I did not directly use its power... The second, the mind stone, that was mine to yield, and even then I fear I did not scratch the surface of it's full potential. Pehraps the midgardians still guard it, it was not recovered to Asgard with the tesseract. The third infinity stone, the aether, stirred into life at the convergence. The last I saw it fell to the dark elves, but as the universe did not end, I hazard guess that Th- the Odinson recovered it. Where the Asgardians have it hidden, I could not say."

Silence fell across the family, and Laufey stared into the distance. "Three infinity stones in play already, again Jotenheim has been left behind in this..." Laufey mused aloud.

"Asgard, Odin may now possess the power of these three-" By started

"Thanos spoke of just one power he wished to reclaim, had the other two been there, do you not think he would have mentioned that too?" Hel interrupted 

"This is not a man to trust, my sons. Regardless of what he may desire from Asgard, three stones or one, even the latter makes the reward of the Winter Casket pale in comparison." He turned to look at his youngest son. "Loki, what do you know of this,  _true goal_ of which Thanos speaks."

He licked his lips, his throat had felt dry since the he had first heard the titan. "I could only presume.. I do not know for certain..."

"It's all right, Loki" Helblindi said, he had not moved his hand from Loki's shoulder the whole time. "You have had more dealings with him than is. We will trust in your judgement, speak honestly." 

Loki wasn't sure if he drew confidence from his brothers words, of the encouraging faces of his family around him, but he found the words to continue.

"He has had dealings with the Kree. Pitted the Nova core against them, used the power of lesser men to his own ends. Lesser men who have themselves toppled empires. Never has it ended well for any of his pawns. He lives and breathes chaos, and his only love is Lady Death herself. I fear now, that he will stop at nothing, until the nine realms have crumbled around him. Whatever he may offer you, offer us" he corrected himself, "It will never be without the intent to one day destroy us too. I was blind to it before, blind with rage for what I had lost, and not seen how much there might still be to lose. We can't trust him.." he finished, almost lamely, and dropped his gaze to the floor. Once again, silence fell between the family. 

"He intends to pit us against our oldest enemy, in the hopes we might annihilate each other, or at least be so weakened, his armies will have no trouble in finishing the job" Byleister spat out bitterly. 

 _"By the NORNS he can be TAUGHT"_ Hel cried mockingly, as By flushed a deep blue. "Are you feeling alright By? I mean really, are you well? Because- That- Was- Actually- Something- Reasonable- That- Came- From- Your- MOUTH!" Hel gushed out, as he repeatedly dodged clods of ice By was hurling at him. Laufey was laughing, and Loki felt some of his unease ebb away. 

Their father stood, and the three of them turned to him.

"Leave this with me now. I have made my decision. Go, occupy yourselves with this evenings festivities. Do no worry on this further."

With that he was gone, and the three of them stood alone. Quickly, By sent one last insult of ice at Hel, who unsurprisingly, dodged it with ease. 

"Come Loki, I have had something made for you this evening." Hel said beaming, and with him refusing to say more on the matter, Loki followed his brother, curiosity brimming, out of the Throne room. 


	10. Party Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally someone has thrown Loki a god-dammed party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this was a little rushed. Will be attending to any typos in the next few days!

Loki admired himself in the mirror, for perhaps the hundredth time that day. As he turned, the chains bounced of his chest with the softest of chinks, and his skirts span, skimming the floor softly. He had not realised how his hair had grown, until Hel had braided sections back, and the lot of his had be bound in a gold band just below the nape of his neck, the tail of his stretching beyond his shoulder blades. The chains hung from a stout metal choker around his neck, all of it gold, and they looped and hung over his bare chest. Complimenting it, where two bracers on his wrists, glinting in the ice-light. The gold may have seemed overpowering, if it not for the impressive skirts hanging from his hips.

He had never seen such a colour of fabric in Jotenheim, perhaps it was not tradition, but the fiery orange, matched exactly to that of his eyes, dominated his appearance. Several layers of it hung around him, and swirled as he walked, with golden clasps fastening the whole thing together. It was hardly his first colour palette of choice... but he had to admit, he could get used to it.

A knock on his door alerted Loki to the fact that he was now quite late, and he hurried to meet his brothers, similarly dressed in such grandeur, if not quite in such bold colours.

As they arrived, to the large dome shaped room at the base of the palace, the princes where announced and Loki felt the attention of the entire room focus upon them, as they descended a grand staircase to the crowd below. The general murmur of the crowd began again as they walked, but most eyes did not leave the trio. In between his two brothers, Loki may have been dwarfed in size, but finally, with Hel and By either side of him, he felt he was where he belonged. 

The room itself was almost unrecognisable. Loki had taken it to be a long unused cavern, with entrances and exits to the world outside of the palace. The room was filled with over a hundred Jotuns, the biggest and brightest of the realm. Tables, filled with delicacies edged the room, as a crowd dancing filled the middle to the music seemingly from nowhere. The biggest difference to the room now thought, was that it shone with the light of thousands of ice crystals suspended from the ceiling. His brothers followed his gaze upwards, "Father has worked incredibly hard for this" Hel remarked. Loki was unsure as to why, but surely he did not impress his father has sorted the lighting for the evening out?

As the night wore on, Loki was introduced to more faces and names than he could hope to remember. At first, he had been surprised to feel apprehension, but soon he was reminded of the kind of evening Frigga would have planned, coercing Loki and Thor about the floor to meet dignitaries he was likely never to see again. He soon picked up his old routine, smile, nod and try to stay out of trouble... Trouble being the name which he had dubbed the rather delicious blonde who had been shadowing their trio for most of the evening...

At first he had assumed him to be a friend of his brothers. He was as tall as Hel, perhaps a little taller, but he did not reach By's lofty height. He was broad shouldered, and as the white gold of his hair glinted in the light, Loki's eyes followed the braid down to where it rested just below his belt behind him. His eyes had flicked up at that point, to meet the blondes, who threw him a roguish grin and winked.  _Trouble indeed..._

After that, Loki had decided that Trouble was not interested in his brothers at all, and became acutely aware as he drew closer with each change in social scenery... until finally Loki turned to be face to face with the man himself.

"Peleke! It has been too long, Loki, this is Peleke," Hel gestured, grasping Troubles forearm in a show of affection, and turning to face the newcomer, "Peleke, this is our youngest sibling, Loki" He added, and Trouble - Or now Peleke as Loki knew him stepped forward and held his hand out. Loki smiled and extended his own, as if to shake it as he had hundreds that night, to be stunned and Peleke whisked the back of his hand up to his face, stoop and place a kiss on the back of Loki's knuckles. He winked at him, for the second time in an hour, and remarked "The pleasure is all mine" 

Loki blushed, then blushed some more as he recalled how striking the deep blue was upon a Jotun's face. He resisted snatching his hand back in surprise. By threw his head back laughing as Hel scowled at the flirt in front of them. Peleke raised and eyebrow as he seemed to produce to goblets of wine out of nowhere. Hel opened his mouth to say something before Peleke interrupted, "Hel if you didn't want me to flirt mercilessly with your brother you really shouldn't have dressed him in something so,  _ravishing"_ he joked arrogantly. He offered a drink to Loki, smiling as he took it, and put an arm around him to steer him from his older brothers. 

"Peleke I swear-"

"OH HEL we'll  _behave_ I promise" He said, with another wink, and the two of them settled in an alcove at the side of the room and talked. 

If he hadn't been so handsome, his arrogance would have annoyed Loki. Perhaps he did annoy him, as something niggled in the back of his mind. The blonde brute almost seemed familiar. He had rested a hand on Loki's knee, but it didn't take long for Loki to understand there was innocence in his charm. He had a looked across the room a few times, to nod at individuals who acknowledged them, and it was now Loki realised it was to his brother most times. This was no guard, with a secret agenda, but part of the gentry, showing affection, perhaps more bold that most, but harmless none the less. As Loki's fears melted away, something else was coiling in his stomach. Perhaps it was the drink involved, or the thought of those massive hands roaming the planes of his skin, or the way Jotun made him snort drink from his nose laughing, but Loki realised he wouldn't be adverse to having the blonde in his bed... They had fallen into a comfortable silence as they sipped their drink, and Peleke gestured to the ceiling. 

"A grand display on your fathers part" he remarked, "They will glow no doubt for a few centuries more now." Again with the ceiling, Loki finally had to comment. 

"I'm surprised he was involved with the event at all really... Hel must have asked him especially"

"How else would the room be lit? A pity our King is not here tonight, the room has not been used in over a thousand years, since before, well before the war with Asgard. There's been little reason for celebration on Jotenheim, Hel was thrilled at the chance to properly welcome you home..."

Loki didn't know what to say to most of that. On the most part, he was touched. Neither of his brothers had told him the significance that the room held, perhaps not to make him feel uncomfortable. 

"A pity we do not have a little light to ourselves, I am missing out on your beauty in the dark here" Peleke broke the silence, and as Loki looked up to him, saw that dopey grin on his shadowed face. True, it was darker in their alcove than most of the room, but Loki has always been able to summon light before now. Surely in ice it was no different...

He placed his palm on the centre of the table, and closed his eyes, and as he raised a short cluster of spiked ice from it, he case what he would once have called an Aesir illumination spell.  He was unsure if the twin casting would result in the glowing ice they saw above them, but as he opened his eyes he saw a soft, glowing crystal where his hand had been. Smiling, he looked up to Peleke, who had jumped to his feet, and backed from the table. 

"Is there a problem?" Loki said, a little concerned at the shock in his companions face. 

"No! Not at all, my prince, it's just, well the evening is late, and I'm afraid I must bid you goodnight." 

And with that, Loki's companion, and hopes for a good shag that night, left the room. He sat their dumbfounded, and By plonked himself beside him.

"Wow. I mean really Loki. Wow. You actually sent him running." He paused to take a sip from his drink. "Other than commitment I can't think of anything that would strike fear into the bastards heart like that." Loki whirled round to look at him, confused. "Oh sure, Hel likes him, they're good friends. But he's known for flirting. What did you do, propose marriage? I mean really, he's actually left the room..." By looked at him, genuinely curious. So Loki gestured to the small light in the middle of the table. By still seemed confused. 

"I made that. Then he ran." Loki said plainly. By snorted with derision, then stopped at the look on Loki's face. 

"You're... Loki are you being serious?" He said. Loki nodded, and with that By was leading him by the arm out of the room. Hel was striding over to them, concerned. " _Play along"_ By murmured, as their elder brother reached them. 

"Peleke got bored, this one has underestimated how much mead he can handle..." By said, and held Loki slightly aloft by his arm. Loki let a sloppy grin spread over his face, and began to profess his love for his brothers.

"Allllllright, allright" Hel laughed, "Bed for this one." He glanced around the room. "A pity, there's still a good few hours left..." 

"Stay!" By exclaimed. "Hel you organised the whole thing, I mean it. I'll throw this in bed" He shook Loki for effect, "And I'll be back down."

With that they were gone, and not another word was said until they reached Loki's room. By let him go and stood in front of him. 

"Do it again." Was all he said. When Loki made no move he was more insistent. "Loki, make and ice crystal again."

And so he did. This time, simply blossoming from the palm of his hand. By looked worried. Chewed his nail. Paced the room. 

"Are you going to tell me what the big deal is here?" Loki pressed. By stopped, and turned to him. 

"Loki... you have heard that magical prowess runs in families, it's genetic, the house of Laufey being the strongest of all?" Loki nodded. "The gift of light, is a rarity even between us. Our great grandfather was the last, before Father, to use it. We had begun to suspect that it skipped generations... but here it is.  In you."

"I don't see the problem here..." Loki said. 

"Our great grandfather brought light to the realm. He was crowned King for doing so. Our father was not his only grandson, but ascended to the throne for the very same power. And now you..."

"Hel is the heir." Loki said without hesitation. He might once have desired a throne, dreaded the thought of the idiot thunder-wonder commanding Asgard, but in losing his right to a throne, Loki had found himself his family, and his rightful place between his brothers. He had no doubts, Helblindi would make an incredible leader. Dedicated to his people, rational in debate and powerful on the battlefield. No, Loki's mind was made up. He would not jeopardise the realm for his own selfish needs, not when Helblindi was all they deserved and more. He said as much to By, and saw his brother visibly relax. 

"I'm sorry Loki, this was your night and I took you from it too soon," He said sheepishly. Loki shrugged. 

"I'm afraid I've scared off the only worthwhile entertainment for the evening. Besides, there is some truth in your lies, I  _have_ drank a lot. I think I'll retire." With that, By left him alone in his rooms. Loki threw off the chains and skirts and flopped onto his bed. The room now pleasantly swimming. The day had taken it's toll. The appearance of Thanos, the handsome blonde, the stark revelation of his claim to the Throne. Loki decided it was all too much to consider, and besides, had other issues to which needed attending. 

Loki's hands slipped south, between his parting legs and around his quickly hardening member. His mind wandered, to where the night may have taken him had he not decided to show off... His breathing became ragged as he stroked himself quicker, lust burning away in the pit of his stomach, and he slipped his fingers inside him, surrounded by wetness, still becoming accustomed to the way his cunt tightened and muscles would tremor...  He ached for pressure on his horns, but that would not come tonight whilst he was alone. Instead he settled for his drink fuelled fanstasies of the blonde...

_Large, strong hands, caressing every inch of him._

He arched his hips to push his fingers deeper. 

_That deep laugh, and roguish smile, arrogant, above him._

_He squeezed the head of his cock, as a drop of dew fell from the tip._

He tossed his head, as he felt his release beckoning. 

_The taste of his lips, and feel of his hips against his own._

He rolled over, pressing his horns into the bed, to no avail, frustrated.

_How his thick cock, might feel, slipping deep inside him._

Over again, tossing and turning, so close...

_How when he came, his chest might blush pink and he'd cry out._

Biting his lip now, he felt himself teetering on the edge, trying to hold on that little longer..

_How he'd look up, into those blue eyes, deep pools-_

Loki gasped, and froze in surprise as his orgasm took him, pouring onto his stomach and pooling between his legs. 

 

Blonde hair. Roguish grin. Those big hands. Bronzed skin and blue eyes. 

His hands fell either side of him, and Loki stared, stunned at the ceiling, as one thought came to him, unbidden. 

 

_SHIT._

 


	11. Realms Aligning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad hangovers and sexual frustration always lead to excellent decision making...

Loki lay in his bed for most of the morning. Partially because his head hurt, and any attempt to sit up led to a wave of nausea. Byleister may have made excuses for their quick exit last night, but Loki sure was glad he had stayed drinking no longer. All in all the party had been a success. It was what came after that really kept him from leaving his rooms. 

On the one hand, he had had the revelation that his magic now surpassed not one but both of his brothers. This in itself (apparently) presented a problem between the trio, and Loki was unsure as to how By was planning on proceeding with the news. On the other hand was a rather disturbing revelation that kept rearing its head in the back of Loki's mind. As the two quandary's went spinning around his mind, the room finally ceased spinning around him, and Loki knew he would have to act upon one of last nights discoveries before he went mad. To think about how best to speak to Helblindi, or mull over the fevered dreams that had followed his self pleasure last night. He closed his eyes and rolled into his sheets on his bed, the soft silk dragging between his legs...

_Strong hands, heated lips, and the long, dancing golden hair..._

Loki threw off the covers, walked over to his dresser and threw cold water onto his face. 

_Right then, Helblindi it is._

****

 

He had changed, from the eye catching reds of the night before to a much more understated blue garb, perhaps trying to seem as innocuous as possible. He had passed Hel's room exactly five times over the course of the morning, before his brother called out to him.

"Are you planning on coming in at any point Loki?"

He froze, before taking a deep breath and walking in to his eldest brothers domain. Hel was sat, at a large ornate desk, with numerous scrolls cast about the surface. He swivelled, to straddle the bench upon which he was sitting and leaned back, casting a warm grin at Loki. 

"Feeling a little worse for wear are we with morning?" He was taunting, but not cruel, yet Loki could not help replying with more of a grimace than a smile. He wasn't sure what to say, and Hel looked a little more concerned.  "Is everything alright?" he asked, sitting forward now and looking closely at Loki. 

He slowly made his way over to the huge desk that reached up to his chest, and lifted both his arms to rest on it, placing his chin atop them. 

"I found something out last night. Something Peleke and Byleister both know. But no-one else". He started with. He didn't mean to be cryptic for once, but he was worried the relationship he so treasured with his brother my crack under the weight of what his words would carry. 

"Is it... something bad?" Hel ventured. And Loki felt guilty. Never pressing, never condescending, just understanding. His eldest brother, who Loki loved so dearly. He wish he knew how he would take it. 

"Byleister said not to tell you. That he would ask Peleke to keep quiet too." 

"Did Peleke do something Loki?" He voice was firm, with a hint of anger under his words. 

"No! No.. not at all. In fact,  _I_ did something. And I didn't know what weight my actions would carry. In fact I did not think it anything special at all, until By told me what it meant last night..." He realised he would never find the words, so as Hel looked at him confused, and went to speak again, Loki shook his head, signed and leaned his hand out onto the table in front, a crystal blossomed beneath it, emitting a soft, blue glow. 

 

 

 

 

The drawn out silence between them was painful. 

"Loki that's wonderful. How long have you been able to do this?" Hel asked. From his voice, it was anything but wonderful. All emotion had left his words, they sounded flat and forced. Hel had turned away from his brother, looking at the crystal between them, and as Loki stared at those red eyes, Hel would not turn to look at him. 

"Only last night.. I did not realise that I could, or that only Father could, it was only when Peleke went running that I- Hel, are you ok?" Loki had to ask, as a soft crack came from Helblindi gripping the icy bench a little too hard. 

"I'm  _fine,_ Loki, just fine." He did not sound fine. He cast his eyes over a scroll which he pulled toward him. "Pray tell why Byleister told you to keep this from me?" He eyes stared into the scroll, away from Loki. He suspected Hel had tried to sound nonchalant. He sounded anything but. 

"Because... Well because Hel he thought it might cause some upset, you see, as only our Father, and Great Grandfather could use it, but now I can so..." Hel still wasn't looking at him. "Hel I don't want any claim on the throne, or anything of the sort, I've seen you fight, watched you around the castle Hel, it's yours we all know it's yours, if Father were to even mention the throne-"

"What makes you think you have any chance of the throne even now?" Hel interrupted, he now looked a Loki, no emotion in his face, but for the first time since they met, Loki felt like he was looking down on him. 

"I, well I don't it's just By-"

"I'm very busy Loki, planning the party for you, which you did not even stay at, has taken much of my time. No doubt I will see you later at dinner." With that, Helblindi swung his leg over the bench, and proceeded to ignore Loki entirely. After being stunned for several seconds, Loki drew himself out of the room to find Byleister, arms folded, outside the door. He fell into step beside Loki. 

"That went about as well as it could have." By ventured, watching Loki closely. 

"You knew he'd react like that?" Loki realised his voice sounded hoarse, he had never seen Hel behave like that.

"I suspected. He should come round, don't worry".

Loki didn't like his use of the word  _should._ He had come to feel comfortable in his new home, and the thought of tension between himself and Helblindi caused him no end of distress. He ate with his brother in silence, By seemed to sense he was in no mood for talking. After that, Loki decided to clear his head with a walk. 

Rather than opting for the murder yard this time, Loki took the staircases straight to the top of the palace, to large open terrace that let visitors view the realm for miles around. As the wind took his hair, and shafts of light broke through the clouds above to make the ice beneath it shine like the open sea, Loki felt some of the tension in his chest ease. He had hoped to focus his efforts on only one of his problems today, but as that had gone so poorly, perhaps it was time to take his mind elsewhere. 

His body felt no cold as leaned against the icy barrier, and for a brief moment the sun passed over him as the clouds shifted. Looking out over his home, he felt a pang of loneliness, and it hit him, after all of this time where the small sense of longing in his chest has been coming from. 

He missed him. The stupid oaf, with his arrogance and jokes, louder than any idiot he knew and yet warmer, more charming and more trusting than any he had ever met. Perhaps it was Helblindi's rebuke that reminded him of the brother he had once had, in a different realm, a different life. Thor, who had never belittled Loki, never asked of him what we would not be willing to give himself. Who had stood by his side until Loki forced him to stand in his way. He wondered were Thor was now. Now that he no longer stood by Loki's side. Perhaps he was with  _her,_ and the thought made a sharp sting of jealousy shoot through him. He had left Loki behind in svartalfheim - why? Had he been too injured, or had Jane, to take a dead weight with them. Had the bifrost been damaged once more so that they could not take his body back to Asgard, to send him like they had Frigga, or perhaps by the time they had returned he had been taken by his own kind. Or, worse of all, perhaps Thor just did not care anymore. After all Loki had done, Thor had washed his hands of him, he was no longer his problem... 

His heart screamed at him that it could not be the latter. The way he had been held, in what they surely both thought was his last moments. The tears Thor had shed, and Loki took what he thought were his last breaths. No, the oaf was overconfident, and never cautious enough, but he was not without heart, and Loki smiled as he knew, deep down, Thor had always cared for him, to the last. He closed his eyes, and as the sun swept over him again in a brief moment of warmth, he could imagine Thor beside him, unable to enjoy the silence for just a moment. 

He imagined him behind him, looping those ludiscious arms around him, biceps almost bigger than Loki's thighs. He would rest his head upon Loki's shoulder, and they would look out, together...

 _WHERE has this come from..._ he screamed at himself. Thor was a brother to him, and yes Loki had always loved him, more dearly than anyone.  But this...  _lust..._ this was new. The reality of the previous night came crashing down upon him in waves. 

_I want him._

The thought beat in his head like a heart. He wanted him, wanted Thor back, in his life. To be near him again, bask in the warmth of the Aesir smile and laugh with him once more. To be held, in arms that made Loki feel safer than any fortress in the nine realms. To have Thor hold his neck once more, and stare in his eyes with those ridiculous baby blues, and finally, finally close the leagues between their lips with one pull. He wanted to feel confused, disgusted with himself, and on the surface he felt both. Thor had been his brother. He wanted to blame his new... anatomy, his new race. That would explain the new found feelings he had for the idiot. He finally found solace, in words he and Thor had once heard from Frigga, centuries before. 

 _"Boys! No! You do not marry for glory, for beauty, for charm. All of these, they fade with time and age. You marry for **love.**_ _And you do not go looking for it. Love is hidden in the face of familiarity. There is exciting love, there is passion. But when all is said and done, love is the home you return to. The luckiest lovers among us are no the most beautiful, or the most commanding in a room. They are the friends, turned lovers, who know each other better than they know themselves. When you love your closest friend, and you realise the love is true, then my sweet, naive boys, only then, will you feel like kings."_

The first pats of rain began to hit the terrace behind him, and as they fell onto his face, they masked the tears that had slipped down past his wide, beaming smile. 

 

****

 

Hel had not moved from his workbench. He stared at the crystal Loki had left behind, but all he could see was the stricken look on the face of his littlest brother before he had left several hours earlier. 

He had been angry at first. How he had trained, for nights and week and years he had trained to no avail; he simply did not have the gift. For Loki to just, turn up, and happen upon the power to create light, infuriated him. It had taken him several hours of seething to realise he was not angry at Loki but simply himself. His own shortcomings, his own frustration, but mostly how he had spoken to Loki. 

 _I hope this is something I can repair between us_ he pondered. He loved Loki dearly, and the look on his face was not something he would soon forget. Guilt coiled in his stomach and reared its ugly head. Of course By would have told Loki about the inheritance of the Jotun throne, and of course he would have warned him of how such an ability might cast aspersions upon the heir to the throne. 

_How could I speak to him like that..._

"You know Hel, he thinks the world of you."

"please, please don't make me feel any worse Byleister."

His younger brother stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame, head cocked to one side knowingly. 

"That was harsh even for me..." He quipped, and Hel banged his forehead on the bench letting out a groan. "So I thought I'd leave you a few hours to toruture youself before coming to talks some sense into... " Helblindi looked up as Byleister trailed off and backed into the room to allow a guard to enter. 

"King Laufey has returned to the realm, he requests the presence of you both immediately in the Solar."

The brothers looked at each other, unspoken concern passing between them as they left the room. 

 

                                                                                     ****

 

Loki had been waiting patiently with his father for his siblings to arrive. He had seldom been left alone with Laufey, and he would have relished the chance to speak with him alone had it not been for the secret he was keeping. He had considered telling his father, until he conversation with Hel today. When the guard had found him atop the palace and requested his presence, he had sounded urgent, and Loki decided today was not the day to impart such knowledge. Instead, they spoke of the party last night, and had fallen into what was almost an uncomfortable silence when his brothers arrived. 

Loki could not bring himself to look at Hel, so he stated resolutely forward at their father. He was surprised, when Hel walked over to him, and stood at his side. 

"I know I left without explanation. I have been at a council of the nine realms, six of which where present." As he spoke Loki realised he sounded exhausted, and the lines on his face seemed heavier than ever. 

"The threat of Thanos has been sounded around the nine realms for some time now. To survive, we must band together, and an alliance must be formed-"

"With Asgard..?!" By interrupted. Laufey sighed heavily. 

"Therein which lies the problem. Despite mine and Odins presence in the same room, and no blood being shed, the other realms feel the... Relationship, which we share with Asgard is ther weak link in such an alliance. Unto a time at which our two realms can assure our old enmity has been put to rest, we will not be afforded the protection of the alliance. Nor shall Asgard."

With that, Laufey bid them goodnight, and the three brothers turned to one another, realising the future of the realm was more uncertain than ever, 

 

 

 


	12. Loyalties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you are a child of two worlds, where does your loyalty truly lie?

Worlds away, in a life far from the icy tundra of the Jotuns, an Aesir prince leant onto his balcony, watching the setting sun over the realm eternal. He bit into the crisp apple held in his right hand, savouring the rich, sweet taste bursting over his tongue, and the juices running down his throat. 

A soft breeze pulled at his golden tresses, and he closed his eyes as the sun bathed his skin, remembering the conversation with his father only hours ago. The realms had aligned, but due to their previous grievances, Asgard and Jotenheim would be left out of the safety of a confederation, until they could prove their cooperation... If it was not aggravating enough, there were his fathers words about the Jotun King Laufey...

_For the first time in millennia, Laufey would not meet my gaze... He is hiding something, that he wishes to keep expressly from me. That and is knowledge of Thanos... I fear how he might be involved. Trust between our realms has never been such a distant dream..._

Thor sighed in agitation. It had not been an easy few months. What with the convergence, Starks mistakes leading to the creation of Ultron on Midgard, and most of all losing  _him..._

Watching him fall from the bifrost had been hard enough. Finding him as unfamiliar as a stranger once more even worse. But all of it paled in comparison, to having felt to life leave Loki as he held him. What with the storm and shifting scree on Svartalfheim they had never found a body, and with it Thor had never found closure. 

Perhaps, if he had told him, in those final moments how he had truly come to feel about the man he once called brother, he would sleep easier at night. If he had told him how he cared, how each time the sun caught his skin his heart skipped a beat, feelings that had festered since they were children but Thor had buried so deep, he could almost forget their existence... almost. But then all he knew had come crashing down, and Loki, his Loki who had been by his side all along, had never been his blood, but simply his closest friend all these years. At least that's what he told himself. It made it easier to sleep at night, and the centuries of fevered dreams seemed a mite less inappropriate.. 

Sure, over the centuries he had distracted himself with beautiful, intelligent women, the culmination of which had been Jane Foster. But perhaps even she was too perceptive... as she had sensed the change in him since Loki's passing, a grievance within that had not abated, and kept him distracted at night as he lay with her. In the end, after ultron, after everything, she had faced him, teary eyed but determined, and told him enough, no more. She could not tie herself to a man who could not give her his all. _And gods was she right_ he thought, Jane was fiercely intelligent, beautiful, a woman like none he had ever met. She deserved so much more than he could give her, a man who could give her everything he was, a man she could grow old with...

He motioned to throw the apple core over the balcony, but caught himself, and as he walked back inside, he carried it with him. 

 

****

 

The Jotun brothers had been stunned at their fathers words, but Loki, not wishing for a repeat of his earlier encounter with Helblindi, followed his father almost immediately out of the room, turning to walk in the opposite direction. He had not made it out of the corrider before thundering footsteps followed him, the heavy thud of a 14 foot beast running behind him. 

Hel didn't say a word before he grabbed hold of him, but wheeled him around into a crushing embrace.

"Loki, Loki I'm so sorry, my behaviour before, please, it's unforgivable..." he muttered as Loki felt his ribs creak in protest under his brothers embrace. He smiled, into Hel's shoulder, and knew from his voice, and increasingly more common shows of affection that the trouble between them had passed. He propped his head on his brothers shoulder and saw By rolling his eyes as he approached them.

"Not to worry Hel, you have until I'm king before I seek out a fitting punishment" He quipped, and as Hel pulled away to look at him, clearly speachless, Loki threw his hands up "I'm joking! _I'm JOKING Hel!"_ and Byleister roared with laughter behind them. With than, Hel flipped him over his shoulder, so Loki was looking at the world upside down, and he cried out in suprise.

"By! DO something!" He said, at which the middle child ran head first and tackled them both into floor. With it, the palace shook, and the laughter from the three brothers died out to silence. They shared an uneasy look. After a moment of quiet, Loki felt it, the palace almost felt alive, like the very ice itself was moving...

"Someone is casting inside the castle." Hel stated, very quickly, and as he held his palm to the floor, sensing its source, the trio rose to their feet. "Throne room" He added, and they began sprinting after their father.

It only took minutes, but the journey felt much longer, as what was now heard to be explosions shook the castle further. As they rounded a corner, onto a corridor that curved around the outside of the palace, open to the elements, Loki recognised the debris embedded into the side of their home.

_Chitauri..._

"IT'S THANOS!" He yelled, as the jumped over the smouldering wreckage to round into the throne room. There, exposed to the elements of Jotunheim, their father was locked into the jaws of one of the great Leviathans, thrashing against the landscape. Hel, predictably, was the first to react. With a column of ice, he launched himself onto the creatures back, and with deft motion, huge spires of ice pierced the great wyrm, armour and all. As it gasped its last breaths, Laufey discarded it into the crevass beside them. Byleister had scaled the palace walls, to join a horde of gaurds atop the palace, launching icy ballistics into the sky above, and into the Chitauri army raining down upon them. The army above them, if you could call it that, was nothing compared to that which Loki had commanded on earth, and as he counted their numbers, and saw no more of the great beasts in the sky, he relaxed a little. If four humans, a hulk and an asgardian prince could defeat the hordes Loki had brought to earth, his Jotun bretheren would have no difficulties dispatching this small gathering. 

With By in the sky, and Hel thundering out of the castle to help stem the flow of warriors on foot making their way to Laufey, Loki took his place at his fathers side, and adopted the same stance, ready for whatever foes may make it through. Laufey looked down at him, surprised to find his youngest son next to him, and grunted with approval. With that, Laufey and Loki began to weave their way with the ice, to defeat any warriors strong enough to confront them.

It could have minutes, or hours later, Loki had lost all concept of time, an eerie quiet settled around them, broken only by the wind passing thought the palace, and the smell of smoke rising from broken machinery. Quickly, father and son found themselves surrounded by guards, with Byleister and Helblindi making their way to the centre of the crowd.

" _BY THE GODS WHAT WAS THAT"_ Hel roared, his eyes wide and bloodlust still running through his veins.

"The Chitauri," Loki said loudly, and almost felt self conscious as all eyes fell to him. "The fighting force, or what is left of it, that Thanos commands. The main fleet was destroyed on Midgard, this must have been the squanderings of what was left."

"Then why send such a measly force, to an immortal realm, should the meagre might of Midgard best them before now?" Laufey asked him directly. For a moment, Loki was taken aback thinking Laufey was questioning the truth in  his words, before he realised, he was genuinely asking Loki's thoughts on the matter.

"My best guess? A warning. He knows we are to decline his... offer... and have met with the nine realms."

The crowd descended into murmuring, and Laufey mused silently, before barking and order making most of them jump.

"Check the prisons, check the temples, check the armoury. Make sure this was not a distraction for another ploy." And with that, the guards bowed and left. "The three of you, get some rest tonight. I would prefer it, if you would share a room..." Laufey added, and as Byleister started to groan he added, "That will not be a request Byleister. Do it, for the safety of the three of you." With that he left, to travel down a spiral staircase Loki had never explored before.

The three brothers settled in By's rooms. Mostly because By kicked up a fuss about Hel being too tidy, and Loki's bed being to small for the three of them. And this was how he found himself, lying between the two great hulking beasts that were his brothers, By snoring to his left, and Hel silent to his right.

"Loki" his eldest brother whispered, and Loki turned to look at him in answer. Hel smiled, and simply said "You fought well today, next to Father. At his side, you looked like you'd never left us." There was something sad in his voice, and before Loki could form a response, Hel ruffled his hair, and rolled over.

 

****

 

The next day passed without much incided. As did the one after that, and the one after, until nearly a week later, the attack had almost all but been forgotten, and Loki was training alone in the Solar. Nothing had been taken, nothing touched, and the Jotun king had agreed with his youngest, that is was most likely a threat, and nothing more. As Loki moved through his stances, trying to muster some grace that may emulate that of Hel, a familiar red head poked through the doors. Loki paused, mid stance and raised an eyebrow at Valmir, reluctant to say the first word. He was pleased to see the guard flush a deep blue, and he muttered something to the floor. Loki stood, crossed his arms in what he hoped portrayed his irritation, and said "Beg your pardon?" Valmir cleared his through and stared resolutely at the opposite wall, not to look at Loki.

"Asgardians. In the throne room, with the king. Your brothers are there too. Thought I might, sneak out to let you know. You knew some of them, after all, so, yeah" He finished awkwardly, and the door snapped closed behind him as he made a hurried exit.

 _Asgardians._ Loki was stunned. He should have suspected, after the meeting with the nine realms, there may be some communication with his old race, but he had not prepared himself for them to be here, on Jotunheim. _Perhaps Laufey told Odin I was here after all, and he seeks for me to finish my sentence...._ The thought left him chilled, an unusual feeling for him now. His stomach was flipped and he found it difficult to take a deep breath. After a few minutes of trying to calm himself, he headed to the throne room to see for himself...

 

****

 

"I see you have learned to behave yourself outside of Asgard, Odinson".

Loki was standing outside the door, trying desperately to hear inside, when his fathers booming voice passed overhim. _Odinson.... by the gods HE'S here...._ Loki felt weak for a moment, when all his senses stopped to focus on that honeyed voice.

"I can only apologise for my previous actions on Jotunheim. Please, rest assured I come bearing no ill will on this day, King Laufey." Loki wasn't sure what shocked him more, hearing his voice again for the first time in months, or how polite the oaf sounded.

"No doubt Odin has sent his son to discuss or realms, _predicament_ at the hands of the alliance" Laufey responded, and Loki could hear the distrust in his voice. Unable to help himself, Loki slipped into the room, and stood between his brothers, off to the side of the Asgardian party, but not quite out of sight. He cast his eyes up to Hel and By, to see the distrust in their face as much as their fathers. He looked forward, to see that Thor was not alone. With him, of course, were Sif and the Warriors Three.

"In fact, no, my father has no idea of my presence on Jotunheim today..." Thor trailed off, and looked to his companions for some reassurance.

"Yes, that ended so well last time you dropped by" his father quipped. _Perhaps this is where I get my silver tongue from_ Loki thought. He stared intently at the Asgardains, half wishing them to see him, alive and Jotun; would they recognise him? The other half of him wished to stay hidden, perhaps it would not be best for a reunion at should an awkard time... he knew how his family felt about the house of Odin stealing him away...

"Our realms need a show of faith, Laufey. A union. For if we do not stand together, then we shall all fall. The other realms may not be willing for an alliance without it, but without the might of Asgard and Jotunheim, how could they dare hope to succeed without us?" Thor was pressing on past the previous remark, and even Loki was impressed at his maturity. He was trying desperately not to focus on the broad shoulders of the blonde, and determined look on his face, the thick thighs cast in leather... his heart started to beat faster, and he cast his gaze back to his father.

"And a proposal, do you have that little prince? Does Odin share your sentiment?"

"I came here as a show of faith, and to show a willingness to move forward. My father has since been to speak with the alliance, to try and prove that our realms will work together for the better of the nine. Unfortunately, their response was less than favourable, and, to quote, _'if this cannot be solved between us, then a solution will be found for us'"_

Laufey lapsed into silence as he considered his next words. Suddenly, as he watched his father, Loki felt the weight of someones gaze upon him. Looking back to the Aesir group before him, his eyes met the piercing gaze of Sif. Her eyes had gone wide, and she looked paler than usual, it was all should could have done to not open her mouth in shock. He offered her a small smile, and she blinked quickly as if to make sure she was not hallucinating. She shifted her gaze quickly to Thor, and then back to Loki. He shook his head slowly, as if to say _Not here!_ and after a brief pause, she nodded, and turned her attention back to Laufey. 

"I thank you for the information, Odinson. Your efforts will not go unmarked, but know this, if the alliance makes to force our hand, they may find Jotenheim somewhat... uncooperative." his father said, finished with a smile no doubt made to make Thor uneasy. Thor nodded, and smiled in return.

"Thank you for seeing us, your grace. No doubt we will be in touch soon." And with that, Thor looked to the skys, and the bifrost opened to return them, leaving nothing but scorch marks on the ice.

Laufey sprang up, to clear the marks from the ice below, but not without muttering, " _Bloody Asgardians"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was a bit short. I think we all know where this is headed! Should have the next chapter up by the end of the week if my on call isn't too busy.   
> Lots of love to all the guys commenting, it really means a lot!


	13. Old faces, new feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all of the realms decided to oppose Thanos, and threats from the underworld start to cause unease...

Loki had retreated swiftly to his rooms. He noticed Valmir's eyes track him as he departed, but he thought little of it. He sat now, back against the headrest of his bed, knees tucked up to his chest and furs wrapped around him. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was that stupid blonde oaf, standing before his father. Had he looked more tired than usual? His face more drawn? Was there a sadness to his voice, or had he perhaps matured in Loki's absence... His mind raced. After all his time spent on Jotenheim, his past life on Asgard had come to resemble a dream to him, his plight on earth and the loss of Frigga a nightmare... And now it had all come to find him, in what he had come to think his forever home. Despite it all, the anguish he sensed in Thor just welled in him a longing to comfort the man he once called brother. Wrap him tightly to his chest, and caress those long, blonde locks... He shook his head as if to force the thought from his mind, when another replaced it unbidden... 

 

_She saw you..._

 

The thought was ringing in his head. He could Sif's expression as clearly as if she were standing before him. What happened next was really up to her. Perhaps if she told Thor, would he come back and demand to speak to him?  _And if she told Odin..._ Gods forbid... The fury he had felt from Odin upon his previous return was not something he'd soon forget. He did not doubt Odin would demand his incarceration once more... he similarly doubted his Father would give him back to the Asgardians without a fight.  _Is this what it all boils down to... war once more starting with me, when all we need is peace..._

"Now that's a miserable bastard right there." By's voice drifted into the room and Loki's head shot up to see his brothers stood in the doorway. 

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" Loki quipped, annoyed. Right now he'd rather be alone with his thoughts. 

"Loki you aught to know, we just had a visit..." Hel trailed off to look at By, as if unsure how to break the news.

"I know. Thor, and his usual entourage." He replied dryly, and with a sigh stretched his legs out in front of him. 

"You were there?!" 

"I was standing  _between the two of you"_ he said exasperated. "Clearly the blonde brute was catching your eye, brothers"

"Forgive us if we don't trust your little princess, Loki" By sneered. Once, Loki might have taken offence, but he had come to understand how the mere mention of Asgard could rile his brother, let alone have them standing in his home. Loki slid his gaze over to Hel, ignoring By completely. 

"What did you think? To his words? You know him better than we do." Hel said, and he walked into the room, to perch on the edge of the icy outcrop Loki called his bed. 

"Ohhhh no. I don't think so. My opinion won't be swayed, I know him too well. What do  _you two_ think of his proposal?" Loki asked. Whatever his brothers may say, he knew when Thor was being earnest. He wished to know their thoughts before inflicting upon them his own. 

"It's a bloody farce! A ruse!! They're going to use this bloody alliance to weedle their way into our realm, to take control. They've always had an, an  _obsession_ with having a hand in the dealings of our realm. Sod the lot of them." By spat out, now pacing around Loki's room. 

"Right well that's the predictable reaction out of the way, Hel?" Loki invited his brother to speak. Despite his reluctance to socialise, the two were providing Loki with a much needed distraction. His eldest brother mused for a while.

"He sounded, more  _tolerable_ than his last visit" He ventured gently, as By let out a derisive snort. "He did! And more the fact he didn't swing that  _bloody hammer_ at anyone." Loki couldn't help but laugh, and he motioned for Hel to continue. 

"Sounds to me like the Odinson wants a resolution to this as much as we three do, what that might be I can't fathom and from the sounds of things neither can he."

"Which makes his whole trip pointless and he's no use to any of us" By interjected. 

"Not so, brother. He's shown willing which is more than we have done. I think, truly, he wants Asgard to join this alliance and he's willing to play nicely for it to happen." Hel looked at By for a reply to that, who just shrugged and looked pointedly at Loki. 

"Alright then brother, you know him better than we do, what's your take on all of this"

"I know him better than anyone, even himself" Loki said, almost with a little pride, and saw surprise settle on his brothers faces. Blushing, he cleared his throat and ploughed on. 

"He truly wants peace, I can tell when he's lying. He's worried Asgard may suffer being let outside this alliance. He's come an awful long way since the two of you last saw him. But By is right, Thor has literally no idea what a solution to the anger between our realms might be..." he trailed off, only continuing when the silence stretched thin between them. "Odin thought it might be me"

"What might be you?" By said indignantly.

"The answer, peace between our realms and all"

"Well that's bullshit" said By

"How so?!" asked Hel, and Loki felt touched Hel didn't dismiss the idea outright.

"Well he bloody stabbed our Father for starters." By snorted out, and unwillingly the three couldn't contain the laughter between themselves. 

"The Odinson isn't what is bothering you then Loki, you speak of him with ease" Hel finally said after they had calmed down. "Come on, I'm not guessing, tell us what's wrong." Loki looked between Hel, sat metres away on the end of the bed, and By who now had his arms crossed, leaning against his dresser. The two stared at him expectantly. He returned to wrapping his arms around his knees, but inside he felt comforted. The two had come to know him as well as perhaps Thor once had. 

"The two of you might be blind, but Sif saw me..."

"Sif?"

"One of his companions, the woman"

"The blonde short one?"

"What?" No! The woman!"

"So _not_ the little blonde one..."

"The one with  _breasts you idiot"_ Loki seethed, exasperated. 

"AHHHHHH" The two of them said collectively

"Of course" Hel said, nodding confidently now, "They don't just get them with pregnancy, Aesir's"

"Don't act like a bloody know it all Hel you thought it was the same one as me"

Loki was laughing now, he wasn't sure which was funnier, assuming Fandral was a woman, or Sif was a man. 

"Oh  _hark at him_ " By said, "Lets all not forget the things you didn't know when we found you" 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Loki said, holding his hands up, "It's refreshing being on this end of the conversation for a change". 

"Enough, Loki, is it bad Sif saw you?" Hel interjected, an undertone of worry in his voice. 

"Depends.." he replied. "If she tells Thor, I don't doubt he'd be back to see me at the very least... But if she tells Odin..."

"What? Odin has no power here on Jotenheim" By said confidently. 

"I've been previously sentenced.. With a  _life_ sentence, By. How much Odin wishes to enforce that, and imprison me once more on Asgard, I dread to think.."

Hel leaned over, and placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Father would  _never_ let that happen" he said reassuringly. 

"I know Hel. That's what I'm afraid of..."

 

*****

 

After a brief recount of their events, the five friends sat around a warming fire deep in the heart of Asgard. Thor drank slowly from his tankard, deep in thought. 

"Well, it's a start" Fandral said, cheerily. 

"Don't get too excited, Laufey didn't seem thrilled by our visit" Hogun drawled, staring miserably into the bottom of his cup. 

"Ahh but you're forgetting my dear friend" Volstagg boomed, throwing and arm around him, "We all left, alive! And not a drop of blood spilled!" He gestured to the rest of them, spilling mead as he did so. "Now that Thor-" He pointed at the prince "That's what you call progress." He sat back, and drank happily. Sif was uncharacteristically quiet. After the drinks has been finished, and the friends had sat in a comfortable silence, Thor stood and stretched, about to retire. Sif immediately stood. 

"I need you to come with me" She said to Thor, and look she gave him knew he was best not to refuse. 

"Oh I'm sorry are we intruding?" Fandral said, eyebrows raised and mock offence in his voice. It would not be the first time Sif wished to speak alone to the Odinson. Sif ignored him and Thor rolled his eyes, and he followed her as she swept out of the room. 

"Where are we going?" he asked, curious but not yet worried and she moved quickly through the castle. 

"To see the all father" She said matter-of-factly, not looking back at him. 

"At this hour? Sif, what's going on?"

"I saw something. On Jotenheim. I need to tell you, or your father. But I can't decide, so I'm telling you both."

It was out of character for her to be so indecisive, and worry began to filter in to the Odinson's chest. Despite his further questions, she said nothing until they reached his father throne room. It was dark outside now, but there he was, his father, staring out over one of the balcony's as he was often found, ever since Frigga passed. He turned, and looked surprised to see them both. 

"We've been to Jotenheim" Sif started with, and Thor groaned as he saw the accusation in his fathers eyes, pointed directly at him. He threw Sif a look of betrayal, she could have warned him...

"Pray tell what business you had on Jotenheim" Odin asked Thor, but as he went to speak Sif cut across him again. 

"We went to express our sincerity at making this alliance work, but this is not why we're here..." She was wringing her hands, and as Odin started at his son once more for an explanation, Thor could only shrug and the two of them turned on the warrior. 

"Loki's alive."

Thor could count the heartbeats in his chest as the silence stretched on between the trio.

"You're sure it was him you saw?" Odin asked, seemingly unperturbed by this information.

"Absolutely, he was blue, and dressed like the others, he was, well... Jotun" She finished, lamely.

"They must have found him on Svartalfheim, no wonder we never found a body..." Odin mused, and ran a hand over his weary face. 

"Loki  _died"_ Thor stuttered out, voice shaking. "He DIED in that wasteland, I held him I FELT HIM GO" He took a few steps away from the pair, and Sif held her hand out to him. 

"He's a Jotun, Thor. The frost giants have incredible regenerative capabilities. We learned this from Laufey's presence at the alliance"

"Did... did you think he might be alive? All this time?" Thor asked, eyes wide in disbelief. There was a drawn out pause between them. 

"I suspected it" Odin finally answered, not meeting his sons gaze. 

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME" Thor roared. Sif had begun to step away from the pair of them, realising her role had been played out. 

"And what Thor? Had you chasing after a mere hope? A daydream? Loki may well have been dead, Thor. You think I wanted you out stalking shadows in the hope you might find the man who had betrayed us all?" 

"Don't you  _dare"_ Thor's voice shook, and somewhere high above, a rumble of thunder threatened. "I told you what he did, he saved me. On Svartalfheim he saved me, and thus saved  _all of us"._

"Thor, my son. You are blinded by your love for him, as was Frigga. Do not forget how he turned against all of us, how he lost our trust and of all that he has done."

"That's what bothers you, isn't it?" Thor snapped back, snarling. Black clouds began to obscure the stars above. "We loved him.  _You_ loved him. But it was you he stopped trusting after all of the lies, not us. You might have given up on Loki ever returning to us, but I had not,  _Mother_ had not."

Odin didn't reply to him straight away. First, he turned to Sif, and asked her to leave the two of them. She looked apologetically at Thor, receiving naught but stony silence in return. When she had left, Odin sighed, and for a moment looked as old as his years. 

"Thor, you have always shown great restraint when it came to Loki-" he held a hand up as Thor went to interrupt him, "The two of you were closer than I ever should have let you get, and now that clouds your judgement as he has taken his rightful place on Jotenheim.."

"You wish to imprison him." Thor accused. "You want to send me, to get him, and you want him locked up again. I  _told you_ what he did-"

"I do not wish to imprison Loki." Odin spoke over him. "He's where he should be. Sif saw him in the royal palace on Jotenheim. No doubt that can mean only one thing, he has returned to his  _family,_ Thor. He's where he should be. Besides, the alliance need a show of faith between the realms. We could never bring Loki back now". Somewhere, in the mist of Thor's mind, something registered. 

"What do you mean...  _closer than you should have let us be"_ and to his surprise, his father looked embarrassed. 

"You will make me say it aloud?" 

"Hel to it, what are you on about father?!? Thor's patience had run out. 

"Thor, my son. I have seen the way you have looked at Loki over the centuries. There has always been more than brotherhood that you felt for him."

Thor felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He felt the colour rise in his face as his father turned away from him. 

"You can't even deny it now."

Thor's mouth opened and closed silently. Somehow, a sob escaped him. 

 

*****

 

Odin had watched as angry tears had rolled down his beloved sons cheeks. He had not want to out the feelings he knew Thor had, but sooner or later, Thor would have to come to turns with what he had truly lost, when they had lost Loki to Jotenheim. His child had turned, without a word, and stalked silently to the end of the room, slamming the door behind him. For all he tried, he could not help but imagine the small blonde toddler, doing much the same, so many many years ago. 

He looked out, unable to see the stars, but wondering what that young man he had raised might be thinking and feeling out on the icy realm. Deep down, he was relieved. _Loki lived._ The thought comforted him. Perhaps Loki may find peace after all... Thor had hit a nerve of truth - he knew Loki had never loved him how he loved Frigga, and his rebellion had hurt more than just the all fathers pride. It was not long until the first spots of rain began to tip down on the realm eternal, and soon an almighty downpour engulfed. Odin held his hand out, to feel the icy cool of his sons tears. Behind him, he head a shuffle and instantly reacted. 

Edging out from the throne was a disgusting beast, of pestilence and plague, which cried out once it knew it had been discovered. Deftly, Odin leapt and had the creature in his grasp, squirming away. Lesser mortals would succumb to the rot and the disease pouring from his skin, but not and Asgardian, least of all a King. 

"A lesser demon..." Odin mused, and began to crush the pathetic creature in his palm, until it began to gurgle, that almost sounded like a laugh...

"MePHIsto... sends his... reg-ards!" The creature croaked out, before it burst into ash which tumbled to the floor.

In the silence that followed, Odin felt a growing sense of unease.

_This does not bode well.._

 

*****

 

Once more Loki found himself between his brothers, before their father. The Jotun king looked disturbed, and looked upon his sons with worry. 

"We have received a threat."

"Agsard?" "Thanos?" By and Hel interrupted at once. Loki remained quiet. 

"Hel" Was their fathers only response. 

"... Yes, Father?" Loki's eldest brother responded. Laufey rolled his eyes. 

"Not you Helblindi, the _underworl_ d, the _otherside_ , the _realm of the damned_ and dead,  _HEL"_

"What grievence does Hel have with Jotenheim?" Loki asked, unsure if this was a long standing tirade such as that with Asgard.

"None we know of," Replied Laufey, "However, a little pit demon whispered to me all day... took me bloody hours to find the shadowy thing. Anyhow, I didn't much like the rumours. We were not the only realm to be offered an alliance with Thanos. Hel appears to have taken said offer though..."

Helblindi swore, the other brothers rested in uneasy silence. 

"What did they want?" Hel asked. "Did they have terms?"

"Nothing. In fact the grand sum of the matter was at least we'll get to watch Asgard fall first." 

"What in the nine realms can they have to hold to the might of Asgard? Mephisto is powerful no doubt, but outside his own realm even he would not stand against Odin" By said, staring at Loki. After a moment, Loki realised it was not a rhetorical question, as his family stared expectantly at him. 

"Unless he has a ploy to lure Odin into the realm of the dead, I have no idea what power could truly overthrow him... unless they find him in Odinsleep, but he's decades before the next is due..."

The four of them thought for a moment, before Hel spoke. "Odin would know it's a trap, luring him to Hel, nothing could possibly take him from Asgard with the realms in such uncertainty, surely..." 

Loki could do nothing agree with him. For all his grief towards the all father, there was a reason he had ruled Asgard for so long. He knew how to keep his realm safe, and for Mephisto to threaten so brazenly two of the immortal realms, Loki dread to think what power Thanos must have bestowed upon him...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! My bad! This took ages!
> 
> I have however worked out the rest of the story (I think?) So about another 6 or 7 chapters before we're all done... hope you enjoy the latest instalment. Do let me know what you think, I love reading all the comments!!!


	14. All seeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is contemplating stooping to new lows. Thor really knows how to sulk. Sif continues to be a legend.

Loki stared at the icy ceiling. His gut was turning over and his lip bruising from chewing it in worry. He tossed and turned, unable to sleep in the early hours of the morning.  _Asgard will fall...._ The realm eternal. Try as he might he could not envision a way in which Odin could be tricked. And truly, he was the expert, he'd been trying since he could walk...

The wind roared outside, and he sat bolt upright, waiting for that crack of Thunder, or the distant whirl of the bifrost crashing down...  _silence._ He sighed in exasperation and flopped down onto his bed. The uncertainty was killing him. Seven sleepless nights since Thor last graced Jotenheim with his presence and it seemed Asgard would not be making a rush decision to lock him up once more... Perhaps Sif had kept her silence, perhaps she had only told Thor of his life here, or perhaps, Odin simply did not care. Loki did not like to think Thor knew where he was, and would not visit.  _But that is how you spent your time in prison, fool, waiting for him to come see you, only for him to come when you were finally of use..._

He had thought of Thor a lot when he was incarcerated. How he had held him by the neck, so close, chained him and thrown his weight around... the lack of privacy had led to a frustrating internment. But now those thoughts were returning once more, and Loki found his hands wandering... 

As he stroked and probed, he heard footsteps approach his door, and loiter there. Thoroughly fed up with this past week he threw his covers off and stormed to the door.  _A man can't even find release in peace anymore..._

He threw the doors open without looking and gutted out "WHAT could you POSSIBLY WANT at this obscene hour of night!"

Facing him, was one thoroughly sheepish red head. A few heartbeats passed, before Valmir pulled him into a crushing embrace, smashing his lips to Loki's and pushing him up against the wall. For a beautiful moment, Loki forgot all that had passed between them. He threw his arms around the larger man and as he was lifted, he wrapped his legs around his waist... their groins rubbing achingly close together. Loki felt the heat rise up in him.. it had been so long, and he had been so very, very frustrated... 

"How I've  _missed you_ " Val gasped as he finally came up for air, and those ruby red eyes gazed into his own. "I've seen you, this past week, Loki, you've not been yourself..." He started to pepper the smaller Jotun's face with kisses. "Let me make it better, let me help you..." 

For a moment he was tempted, as he tipped his head back to let Valmir kiss his neck, before he realised... this was not empathy from a friend, this was an opportunist, seizing his chance... He remembered, the jeering and taunts of the guard room, and that molten feeling deep inside turned to ice.

"Enough" he said, pushing Val away and dropping to the floor. The red head stood there, dazed for a moment before stuttering.

"But I, I thought, perhaps we might..." He trailed off. "I though there was something between us"

"You ruined anything that might have been, and you know it" Loki said, sounding more hurt than he inteded. He folded his arms over his chest, protectively, as he realised he had walked out the room in a small garment he did little else but sleep in.

"You wouldn't give me a second chance? Let me prove to you-"

"I don't give second chances. And I certainly don't trust you. Not anymore. That won't be something that changes." He was tired. Too many nights of too little sleep, and to be truthful to himself he wanted nothing more right now than to curl up beside the other man and drift off... But he had to protect himself. Put his walls up. Something he had plenty practice at doing... 

Valmir didn't say another word, but just stared at Loki, longingly, before taking himself off down the hall. Loki watched him leave, and stayed leaning against the door frame for longer than he should. With a sigh, he turned on his heel and opened his door once more, when there was a thud down the corridor. As he weighed up whether or not he cared enough to see if Valmir had collapsed, he heard a familiar voice speak out. 

"Loki..."

 

*****

 

 

The morning after the altercation with his father, Thor sat in his rooms, the place unrecognisable from the furniture he had thrown. The storm had lasted the night, but now in the weak light of dawn it had subsided to a drizzle. His eyes felt gritty where his tears had dried, and his throat hoarse.  _He was alive... he was standing in the very room you were in..._ He hated himself for having not noticed... the very light of his life, his Loki, was standing,  _breathing,_ in the same room as him, how had he not felt him? Sensed his presence? He almost resented Sif for having noticed him first. 

He spent hours, wondering how the man he had grown so close to, might look in his natural skin. Try as he might, he could not envisage Loki with blue skin, and dark red eyes. Would he have horns? Or those deep, ugly lines on his beautiful, unmarred skin? Would he be taller now? The thought of him towering over Thor, an unfamiliar giant, made his heart ache that little more. 

The day had passed in a blur, as had the next, and he went through the motions expected of him. He drank with friends, ate with his father, walked the realm and sat in long discussions about the realms future. Of any discussion, he did not partake. One thought rattled in his mind.  _Loki is alive._

"My Lord, it has come to our attention the actions of Thanos has begun to threaten not just the realms of the living."

_Loki is alive._

"Tyr, we have discussed his actions in Hel, until we know more we cannot act rashly." Odin replied

_Loki is alive_

"But my King it is not of Hel we speak of, last week a, startling discovery was made..." A silence followed, 

_Loki is alive_

Before the man could continue. "The body of a Valkyrie was found on the boundaries of Yggdrasil.."

"A Valkyrie?!" Odin exclaimed. "Have you spoken with Brunhilde? What say she of this?"

_Alive... He's alive_

"She says this was not the first, and that the Valkyries are dealing with this matter... internally..."

In the encroaching dark of night that evening, this was the only conversation Thor could recall. He wrapped his arms around himself, drawing a rough blue cloak tighter to him, seeking comfort more than warmth. With all his heart, he wished has arms were wrapped around a familiar figure. 

Without warning, he was struck from behind - an apple bounced harmlessly from his head. He turned to see a furious looking Sif. All of his rage from the past few days boiled up, and as he opened his mouth to speak she cut him off. 

"Don't you DARE speak to me, ODINSON." She stared to circle around him, stalking like a predator. "Oh the poor prince, his  _love_  as it happens, is alive and well! Surely we should find the fair maiden rejoicing!" Her voice dripped with mockery and vemon and she gestured with disgust at Thor. "SURELY, the prince is not focusing all his efforts, not only on his own realm, but the safety of all of them including the earth, under his  _self-proclaimed_ protection. How secure we are feeling with the God the of Thunder ready to fight for us."

All of the fight went out of him. He turned, sighing, to look out over the golden horizon. "Leave me be, Sif" he murmured, earning him another piece of fruit to the head...

"You stupid, nauseating,  _love-sick_ idiot!!" she screeched, and he turned to look at her, confused. "Oh don't give me that look. Loki is alive and know you're keening to have him back with is, following your every step and admiring your every move like the  _good old days._ Honestly the charade of brotherly love grew old in the first few centuries of adolescence Thor." After several minutes of stunned silence, he seemed to find his voice. 

"Did... everyone know?" He asked, worry settling into his stomach.

"Everyone except you two idiots." She seemed to have softened and came to join Thor on the balcony, looking out. "You  _cannot_ allow this to tear your focus from the task at hand, Thor. The realms are in disarray, Thanos mounts and army in Hel, and with Mephisto by his side I worry what his plans are for the future."  

"Did mother know?" Thor ventured, receiving him a less than friendly smack around the head. 

"THOR I SWEAR-" 

"Odinson" Came a deep voice from behind them, emanating from Heimdall. 

"I do not have long. So I will speak quickly. I have a suspicion as to Mephisto's plan." 

The silence he received from Thor and Sif was indication enough to continue. 

"I have been watching. As much as I can, I have been watching. That does not mean than I see all, so many lives to follow, and only two eyes... I cannot focus on more than a few things at once. But Tyr's revelation today eased something from my memory.."

"The Valkyrie" Thor mentioned, and the watchmen nodded.

"She was not the first. I have seen Brunhilde speak of others who have fallen in the passing years. One whom I remember now, though at the time I was stricken with grief. Valkyries are hard to see even for me, but I remember those who found her..."

"What has this got to do with Mephisto?" Sif interrupted, growing impatient. 

"She was found shortly after Frigga's passing" he said, the implication of his words hung in the air. 

"What are you saying Heimdall..." She pressed.

"He's saying mothers soul never reached Valhalla..." Thor growled, the clouds beginning to mimic his mood once more.. "And if that's the case then she resides in-"

"Keep you control, Thor!" Heimdall interrupted, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I came here, for Odin cannot know the truth"

"He would go to her" Sif said in horror,

" _He must not leave Asgard"_ Heimdall impressed upon them, switching his gaze between the two.

"Send me to Hel. KNOW" Thor roared, Mjolnir in his hand in an instant. 

"I cannot, I am forbidden from sending you off world without the express word of the All father..."

"You cannot expect me to sta-"

"After your last expedition, I did not expect you to need my help leaving Asgard."

The memory of this left a sour taste in Thor's mouth. Yes, the had escaped Asgard, with Loki, and Jane, and then it had happened...

"Travelling to Svartalfheim will be of little use to me now, Heimdall"

"That is not how these passages work. If the laws of Meili are to be believed, and truly I believe this is what Loki uncovered, the destination need only be fixed in your mind. Much like the bifrost, the traveller may go wherever..."

"This will take planning." Sif said. The rolling of her raven hair between her fingers indicated she was deep in thought. "Give me three nights..." she murmured and walked to leave the room. At the doorway, she turned, and glowered at both of them. "This stays a secret between all of us, the more who know, the more likely it will fail." And with that, she was gone. 

*****

"I'm not sure this is your best idea" Thor said, standing in an Asgardian ship, near identical to that he had used to travel before. 

"Trust me. The explosion will panic the guard and your father, they'll assume it's an attack from Hel."

"And if people are  _hurt_ Sif? Innocent people?!"

"The blast will be high up, in a crowded place, but not without protection. I have asked the warriors three to meet me there for a drink just now... it's the best I can do."

"Sif, I-"

"We cannot risk more than one of us in Hel, your presence alone will be easy enough to detect. Go, now, and stay low to the water. When you hear the blast, it's your sign to move out -and quickly!!" With that, she clasped a hand onto his shoulder, and gave him a warm smile - her hostility from earlier in the week had all but melted away as Thor has become more and more enthused about her plan. With a swirl of dark hair and chinking armour, she was gone. Thor pushed the ship out into the air, and moved slowly out of the bay.

_Focus clearly on where you're going. There can be no indecision in your mind, else you'll be torn apart._ Heimdalls words rung in his head. Thor knew he would have no problem. He was nothing but focus. 

Icy tundra, a midnight blue sky, pyres of ice rising up to pierce the clouds above. 

_I'm sorry Sif_ he thought, as he pressed on towards Jotunheim. 

_If I am to rescue Mothers soul from the underworld, then there is one person I cannot do this without._

Somewhere in the distance, a huge blast rang out across the city. Without looking back, Thor sped off towards a rocky outcrop, that would take him to Loki....

 

*****

 

Thor thanks the stars his ship had crashed into fresh snow, and the not the sharp, icy outcrops that would have sliced cleaned through him, which he walked through now. Up ahead, the lights of the castle glowed against the night, an eerie blue in the mountain that was carved Loki's new home. It took him a while to circle it, to find a particularly unlit section of the castle faced him. Swinging Mjolnir softly, he launched himself into the air, to land deftly on an outcrop that, loosely, one might call a balcony. With increasing trepidation, he crept inside. 

He wasn't sure how to find Loki, or even that he was inside the castle at all... and after an hour of wandering the deserted halls he slid into a pile in an alcove, rubbing his palms into his eyes. Perhaps breaking into Jotunheim had not been the soundest plan. at all. He throat felt hot and his eyes leaky... how could he not find his Loki in a castle, how could he not sense his presence, how-

His head shot up. The echo's of a shout bounced down the hall. A familiar shout, bounced down hall. With new found vigour Thor set off. After a few minutes, he started to lose hope again, until a voice around the corner startled him. 

 

"Enough" 

It was only one word. But the voice that said it make Thor's heart soar.  _Loki!_

"But I, I thought, perhaps we might..." _There is someone else with him..._ He looked around, and settled for climbing a pillar to hide in a carved alcove twenty feet from the ground.  _My Loki is right here!_

 "I though there was something between us" 

_Wait.. what?_

"You ruined anything that might have been, and you know it" and Thor was surprised to hear the hurt in Loki's voice.  _Who could capture Loki's attention so..._ A burning curiosity raged in his chest. _I must see him...._  

"You wouldn't give me a second chance? Let me prove to you-"

"I don't give second chances. And I certainly don't trust you. Not anymore. That won't be something that changes." A silence followed, and Thor heard footsteps walking his way. Briefly, a red haired Jotun swept past him, and with a hand over his mouth. Thor could have sworn he heard a stifled sob. His heart was pounding now, and when the beast had left earshot, he summoned all of his strength.  _If i falter now... I may never do this..._ The thought of seeing Loki as a Jotun, for all his imaginings, terrified him. With a deep breath he dropped to the floor and rounded the corner. There he saw the back of a small, blue, darked hair Jotun. His voice trembled as he spoke. 

 

 

"Loki" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! The next chapter should be quite a long one, with a fair bit of action, so please bear with me whilst I get it all written down!
> 
> As usual, lots of love from yours truly.


	15. Into the pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up for Thor and Loki. Unfortunately... not in a sexy way...

Slowly, the stranger in front of him turned on his heel, to look Thor in the eyes. He could not doubt that this was the man he held so fervently in his mind... the blue skin, the deep red eyes. From the lines that ran over him in swathes and rivulets to the horns sprouting from his brow, this was undoubtedly, his Loki. As they stood in silence, Thor could not help but rake his eyes over Loki's body; his complexion may have changed, but his physique certainly had not...

"What... what are you _doing here!?"_ Loki hissed, Thor noticed how he kept his arms folded around himself, those red eyes darting up and down the corridor.

"I need your help-" He had to stop himself before calling him brother. Old habits die hard, but it hardly seemed appropriate as old feelings surfaced... He realised he sounded almost lame, and he saw something like disappointment pass of Loki's face.

" _Get inside"_ he seethed, no more friendly, and disappeared behind the large, glassy door. Pulling his cloak around him, Thor followed obediently. Inside, Loki faced away, and had thrown a deep blue robe around himself. Fastened with a sash at the waist it appeared to be made of silk. Clearly he didn't need it for warmth. He turned to stare at Thor suspiciously, and the trail of fabric followed behind him obediently.

"You're... looking well" Thor ventured, lamely. Truly, he looked every bit as princely as he had on Asgard. Loki rolled his eyes and sat on a stool next to a dresser in (what Thor now deduced to be) his bedroom. Soft crystals glowed in the alcoves of the room around them, and under their light the soft blue of Loki's new skin seemed almost luminescent.

"How about we skip the pleasantries and discuss why you're in my home, uninvited" Loki quipped. The way he seemed so at ease here, spoke of  _home_ like it had always been, settled a sadness in Thor. "No doubt this has to do with Hel's threats against Asgard? No?"

Thor was surprised, how could Loki know? Had the Jotun's been spying on Asgard without their knowledge? Or worse, were they somehow involved... "How did you-"

"I have my ways" Loki interrupted, frustratingly. "I suspected their plan might be to lure Odin from Asgard, but with you here perhaps that was not their plan at all..."

Clearly Loki was in a gaming mood, intent on seeing who had the upper hand in this lingual back and forth... Thor had not time for this. He decided to cut to the chase...

"It was. Mephisto has Mother." Loki stared at him in surprise. 

"That's impossible, she-"

"The Valkyries are being picked off. Her soul never made it to the gates of Valhalla." Thor studied the Loki closely. Was it possible, or had the blue of his face grown pale? After staring at the floor intently for a moment, Loki raised and eyebrow, 

"You know, last time I helped you on behalf of Frigga, it did not end so well for me..."

"You appear to be doing perfectly well for yourself" Thor snapped. He could not tell if it was Loki's nonchalant demeanour in his ice palace, his previous red haired visitor, or the causal way in which he no longer called her mother, but anger started to tug at his heart. Loki sulked at him, before tilting his head to one side, the corners of his mouth lifting into a smile.

"You look at tired as I feel." He said, softly. That smile, the exhaustion in his voice, and the way he rested he elbows on his knees, and his head on his hands all seemed so familiar.. a weary laugh escaped him as Thor raked his hand through his hair.

"It has not been an easy week..."

"For both of us it seems."

A silence passed between them, as they both turned the icy outcrop covered in furs and silks. 

"Perhaps we'd be better to speak of this after some rest..." Loki ventured, as he turned his head to the icy outcrop covered in furs and silks at the head of the room. They had been brothers, for hundreds of years. This would not be the first time they had slept, weary, side by side... But now, they were no longer brothers. And Thor found himself in the centre of what for thousands of years had been enemy homeland... 

"And if I'm discovered?" Thor retorted. The thought of lying beside Loki was more inviting than he'd ever admit, and for a moment they stared at each other... did Thor detect just a hint of longing from Loki too? 

"No one will enter without knocking. I know you're a deep sleeper but I'm sure we can get you... stashed away" he replied, and Loki was smiling now. 

It was as if game of chicken had sprung up between then, Loki stretched and sauntered over (Thor noticed how he didn't disrobe) and flop unceremoniously onto the bed, roll into a sheet and sigh. As he stood there, Thor hesitated joining him. Despite his exhaustion, the icy outcrop did not look inviting, and he cast a wary eye over his shoulder to the closed door. Sighing, he was not one to let Loki get one up on him. He took the main bulk of his metal armour off, leaving it in a pile on the floor, wrapped his cloak around him, and settled on the bed as far away from Loki as he could...

 

*****

 

Loki spent his last waking moments wondering in why world inviting Thor to bed, whilst sexually frustrated and having lusted after the man he called brother, was a good idea. Surprisingly, he slept soundly for the first time in over week, and as he woke to the crystal of the palace lightening, he could hear the soft breathing of the man next to him. He rolled over, to see the soft sleeping face of the big blonde idiot.  _Peaceful oaf,_ he thought fondly, and couldn't help the warm feeling he felt sleeping by his side. 

_"I need your help"_

Well that didn't last long. That bitter taste of disappointment began to curdle and he wrapped himself a little tighter. Once more, Thor only came to him when he was of use... The blondes hair had fallen over his face and it took all his restraint not to reach out and brush it away.  _Stupid blonde idiot._ Then there was the matter of Frigga. His throat felt hot and anger boiled in his stomach as he thought of her in Hel... a realm he hadn't visited for centuries and even then it was only to prove to himself that he could. The winds groaned with the pain of thousands of tortured souls, the taste in the air metallic and thick with blood and the heat... so close you could barely breathe. He dread to think how he would fare now he was Jotun. It wasn't a matter of whether or not he would help Thor. He had come to him for help... put himself in danger just to ask him. How could he say no? That, and the very woman who raised him was set to spend eternity in agony. He would not trust another to rescue her. 

Loki had begun to ponder how in the nine realms there were to get into Hel undetected, when the loud thud of a pair of footsteps approached his door in the early morning... Thinking quickly he bolted up, pulled the covered beneath Thor and dropped him off the far side of the bed with a satisfying thud and 'oof'. He stopped to admire his work and 'shushed' the indignant face staring up at him. 

He looked up to the door, and saw an untidy pile of armour left in the middle of his room...  _some things never change..._ he thought, and as he'd bundled it in his arms, several booming knocks sounded on his door. 

" _BROTHHEEEEERRR"_ Came the delighted voice of Byleistr from the other side of the door. When Loki had said no one would dare enter his room uninvited, he had perhaps silently excluded his brothers from that statement. He leapt, dumped the armour atop a rather disgruntled Thor, and settled back onto his bed as if nothing were amiss. 

"Oh he can't have slept through that" Helblindi said indignantly. "LOKI?! Who do you have in there?" he taunted. 

"Not Valmir, poor bastard looked miserable as sin this morning..." By laughed. "Loki did he really come over last night?" and he heard the door start to creak open. 

"OK-OK-OK I'm  _not alone"_ Loki gushed, sounded genuinely mortified. The door stopped opening. A resounding OOooooooooOOOooo echoed from his two brothers on the other side. 

"Did Val come over?!" 

"Are we... interuppting currently?"

"Are you going to stop sulking now?" 

"Peleke? You in there!?"

"ENOUGH" Loki shouted to stop of the onslaught of questions, which simply transition as the two fell about laughing. 

"Sorry Loki!!" Hel finally said to the closed door, "We just wanted to... check in after seeing Val..."

"Loki if you do not tell us everything later I'm holding you over the back balcony until you spill" By added, and with that the door finally clicked closed and Loki breathed a sigh of relief. He felt an unusual burden of guilt, hiding something from both of them... but he dread to think Byleistr might do if he discovered Thor... 

A blonde head appeared over the side of his bed. 

"Who is Peleke?" Thor asked, nonchalant. Loki hit him the face with a pillow. 

 

*****

 

_Peleke. Valmir. Peleke. Valmir. Peleke. Valmir..._

The names where spinning through Thor's mind as Loki thumbed through tome after tome, and over numerous scrolls in a large, circular room edged almost entirely in books. Loki had called it the Solar, and begun to excitedly talk about how Helblindi had first taught him to use Jotun magic in this very hall. Eventually Loki must have realised how he'd sounded, as he caught himself, embarrassed and barked at Thor to keep watch by the door. Helblindi, Loki's eldest brother. Byleistr, Loki's other brother. Not Thor... Thor felt like he was caught in a dream, it was all so unreal... The way they had joked, taunted, laughed as if they were... as if they were brothers... 

_"He's where he should be"_

His fathers words rung in his mind. Truly, Loki acted as if he had lived here his whole life. After refusing to answer any more of his questions in the morning _(_ _who on Jotunhiem was Peleke and Valmir?!)_ Loki had dressed, throwing nothing more than a deep sea green skirt of silk around his waist, hung on thick metal belt that covered him from his hips to his naval. The skirts hung to the floor and danced as he walked. He'd sat himself before the mirror, and plaited his now strikingly long hair, making sure he was happy how he looked.  _Some things never change..._

Loki had declared he was going after Frigga, he wouldn't trust Thor to do it alone. The catch being he had no idea how to travel to Hel from Jotenheim, despite having travelled to and from both of them from Asgard. He'd managed to sneak Thor down to the Solar, and now was doing what Loki did best. Reading. 

Thor sighed with boredom, several hours had passed and he had grown hungry. Which is perhaps why he hadn't noticed the approaching Jotun until he was nearly at the door. Unceremoniously, he ran, jumped and landed behind the desk in a heap beside Loki, how deigned to look at him from his book in annoyance. The door creaked open. 

"You can't hide from us all day you know..." The Jotun said, and Thor thought recognised the voice from earlier. 

"You can't blame me for trying By" Loki quipped back and gave, who Thor realised was Loki's brother, a mischievous grin. A grin Thor had not seem in a long time.

"Hel was convinced you'd be on the roof again. Looks like I  _do_ know you better. Come now, Valmir has told me you gave him the shove last night. I've got to know, did you go find Peleke or did he find you?" Thor heard him open the door further and take a step until there was a resounding thud. The kind of thud when something came into contact with Mjolnir. Mjolnir which he had left behind the door... 

An uneasy silence filled the room. 

 _"WHERE IS HE"_ he heard the Jotun hiss. Loki stood from the table slowly. 

"Calm down By, I can explain this..."

"YOU'RE HIDING THE AESIR PRINCE IN OUR  _HOME"_ he shouted, and Thor heard the familiar crackle of ice... He lifted his hand to summon Mjolnir when Loki took his wrist. One look at Loki told him to stay down and not to get involved. The desk shot up into the air, propelled by a shard of ice and Thor saw a furious Byliestr glaring down at him. Loki stepped in front of him. 

"Please... By... don't make me do this..." Loki said, and Thor could hear the pain in his voice. He slid backwards on his ass, until he was pressed against the bookcase. He glanced to see Mjolnir sat where he had left her... it took all of his might to not summon her to him. Suddenly the floor was pulled from under Loki and was slipped to the side, and a flurry of ice shards shot towards Thor. Before he could react, an icy wall shot up between him and an icy impalement, originating from Loki's outstretched hand.  _"Fine..."_ he heard Loki  mutter, and he leapt beyond Thor's view. Behind his icy wall Thor could see little more than shadows. He felt out of his depth... would Loki want help in fighting his own brother? Or would he never forgive Thor for getting involved. After what was only several agonising minutes, the room went quiet. 

"Byleistr...  _please.."_ Loki sobbed... Hearing his voice break, Thor jumped from behind his icy protection to take in the brothers before him.

Byleistr was pinned to the wall, several icy tendrils holding him and one long, thick, pointed spire stretched from the floor at Loki's feet to his brother neck, ominously close to the skin... Loki was stood, legs wide apart in a fighting stance, one arm outstretched following the shard.  His chest was heaving up and down... and... where those tears at his eyes?

"You would betray us,  _your brothers,_ for them?" By spat, who sounded just as emotional as the Loki he glared at. 

"I AM BETRAYING NO ONE" Loki roared, his voice breaking. 

"YOU KEPT HIM IN OUR-"

" _Classic Byleistr,"_ Loki hissed. "Fight first ask questions later." Thor watched as the larger Jotuns eyes travelled over the room to settle on him. 

"Without them, our mother would still be alive" By said solemnly, voice full of accusation. 

"How would you feel if you discovered, after all this time, her soul was in Hel?" Loki asked, refusing to relinquish his hold on By.

_"How DARE you-"_

"That's where she is" Loki cut him off in a dangerously low voice. "The woman who raised me. The woman who held me as a child, taught me magic, gave me light whilst I watched Odin and his son from afar. Mephisto and Thanos have taken her to Hel."

"Frigga" Byleistr spat out. 

"She was not like the others, By..."

"HAH" By laughed. "Looks like Mephisto has a chance to have Asgard once and for all! The one thing Odin would leave his realm for." He shouted triumphantly. "But here, Asgards little  _snake_ is going to save them..."" He looked at Loki with disgust. 

"I won't let her suffer there, By. She was my mother-"

"FARBAUTI WAS OUR MOTHER" He cried, and pulled against his restraints. Loki did not falter in tightening them. 

"And I ask again. How would you feel, after all this time, you if you discovered her soul was in Hel. What would you do?" An uneasy silence fell between them. 

"I would... stop at nothing to release her from such suffering" By barely whispered it. His gaze swept from Loki, to Thor, to drop the the floor. Thor's heart quickened, as Loki released him. 

"Jotenheim is my  _home"_ Loki said, arms dropping to his side. "I would never betray her." Byleistr slid down the wall to sit back against it, legs stretched arrogantly in front of him and arms crossed loosely. "If I can help Thor release Frigga, together, it might be enough to show the realms of our... cooperation against Thanos."

"You've been spending too much time with Helblindi" By murmured, and before Thor realised what was happening, Loki had stepped into his brothers embrace. The two laughed about something, as Loki stepped back and helped his brother stand. 

"You fight me like that again and I'm throwing you back into the Hive pit... little shit" By said, fondly now. 

"Are you trying to improve my reputation?" Loki replied, arrogantly, and a warm smile passed between them. Sensing the danger had passed, Thor drew Mjolnir to his hand, causing them both to look over to him. 

"Have you finished cowering Asgardian?" By taunted, and Loki slapped him on the arm. Again, they laughed. "Dare I ask how you were planning on getting into Hel from the Solar?" 

Loki looked sheepish. "I was hoping to find something in the literature" he said lamely, and the three of them looked over the hundreds of books strewn over the room. 

"You really have been spending too long with Hel." By wore a wolfish grin. "But, my sweet little brother, I believe I can be of some help."  He stood and the pair walked to the door. "Come on, Asgardian" By said, looking at Thor like he might a dismembered body part. "If your little legs can carry you." 

 

*****

 

"ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK" Loki roared over the icy waterfall. He retreated from the edge away from the crashing noise, to where his brother stood smugly next to a shivering Thor. 

"Trust me, Loki, we've taken this path to Hel many times before. It was a fancy of ours as adolescents, see who could stand the heat the longest..."

"And we can return here too?" 

"You will surface in the pool down river, it's calmer there, but watch out for the undercurrents." 

A silence fell between the trio, and Loki looked with uncertainty behind him. By had taken them through the palace, stopping in his rooms to collect something important enough to hinder them, but not enough to share. It was not that he didn't trust By. Only a day ago he'd have thrown himself over without question... but after their fight. He was shook up, and perhaps not in the best frame of mind for a rescue. He remembered By's hostility when he had first arrived, he couldn't imagine he would be best pleased Loki had overpowered him in a fight. Helblindi had always said Loki had more magical prowess, but until today he had thought nothing of it. Sensing the awkwardness, Thor walked towards the edge to look over at the cascading river. He looked back at them.

"You just jump over, right?" He shouted, and as By nodded, he disappeared over the edge. Loki looked back up to By who looked shocked. 

"He's... he's an idiot, isn't he?" 

Loki laughed. "Yes it doesn't take very long to pick that up..." He stopped at By had knelt on one knee to come face to face to him. By took his shoulders, and Loki saw worry in his face. 

"Loki, I understand, you feel the need to do this-"

"By I'll be-"

"Let me finish." By sounded serious. "Loki, I love you. Dearly. You're my little brother, and if harm comes to you in the underworld, I will never, ever forgive myself." He took a deep breath, to steady himself. "I will be waiting for you, by the pool for your return. I know, if this was  _our_ mother, I would never forgive someone who stood in my way. But please, Loki I beg you, if it becomes too dangerous, if you can't get her out,  _come back to us."_

Loki didn't trust himself to speak, he was overcome with emotion. Instead he stepped forward and embraced his brother once more. By raised his arms, and a soft clink of metal wrapped around Loki's neck. As he pulled away, a small delicate choker, with a deep red gemstone hung around his neck. He looked to By for explanation. 

"It's enchanted - when you wear it, you won't feel the heat of any realm. Fire will still burn you, so don't do anything stupid. I did not want to share with the Asgardian... you might trust him but I do not... and if you should lose it... you will scarce be able to stand in Hel..." They stood silently, for a moment. Loki nodded, uncharacteristically quiet, and walked towards the edge. He couldn't see the bottom. He took a deep breath- 

"Be careful Loki. Please" 

\- And jumped. He left his stomach behind as he plummeted, and the icy waters beat down on his back. Faster and faster he fell, until he wasn't sure why he hadn't reached the bottom... when a familiar flash of green light shone around him... and he fell into deep, stagnant pool. The water was murky and he could not see through it. All around him was red. It took him a moment to register which way was up, and after several dizzy moments he broke the surface gasping. The heat was instant. He felt like he'd been thrust into a sauna - it was oppressive and difficult to breathe. Unconsciously he felt for the choker and found it safe around his neck.  _Gods forbid how I would have fared if I did't have it...._

He took in his surroundings. The pool was not large, and sat within a rocky outcrop overlooking the red, desolate, barren planes of hell. A black sky with a weak sun hung overhead. A few dead trees decorated the horizon, and all around was the unending, unrelenting wail of the dead. The stench was more than most mortals would bear. As he pulled himself out of the putrid soup, he joined Thor, who was still staring out over the landscape. "What took you so long.." the blonde muttered, paying more attention to the scenery. The flat, desolate view was interrupted only by narrow, deep canyons. Within which were trapped the souls of the damned. "How will we ever find her..." Thor sounded almost defeated before they had began, the very notion left Loki feeling uneasy. He threw an arm around Thor and wheeled him to look in the opposite direction. There, lay a huge fortress of iron coiling up out of the ground and reaching into the sky. 

"I think perhaps Mephisto will be holding her here..."

They took a moment, to take in the monumental task before them, until Thor slapped Loki's back cheerily. "Well then!" He exclaimed, "What are we waiting for?" 

 


	16. Hel hath no fury...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't mess with mummy's boys

The first thing to irritate Loki was, surprisingly, not Thor. The heat was barely... tolerable. After arguing over the best direction to head in, Loki had left the one watery oasis behind to follow Thor out into the sand. If By was right they would simply have to return to the stagnant swamp, and swim right to the bottom to emerge back in Jotunheim. The deep pool had flowed over the edge of the natural plateau in the land, and disappeared deep underground. As they trudged over the red sands of hell Loki was finding himself more and more grateful for Byleistrs' gift. They passed the deep groaning canyons with caution, although when curiosity took hold and they looked over the edge, they could see nothing but darkness below. After what couldn't have been more than an hour, their destination seemed no closer. He stopped, placing a hand on tree long since dead. A chasm of the dead was only a stones throw away. Loki looked up to the sky, breathing hard. 

"What's wrong?"

Loki looked at Thor. He stood, in full armour, cape billowing. Metal and leathers. Completely un-phased by the sweltering heat around them. Even with his amulet, Loki realised he would fare a lot worse than the Asgardian.

"I'm a frost giant Thor. Emphasis on the  _frost._ And we're stood, in the depths of bloody hell.  _What do you think is wrong."_ he hissed. A slight hint of humility passed over the oafs face for a moment. They both stared out at the castle. 

"At this rate, it will be days before we reach her..." Thor mumbled...

"Well I'm open to suggestions" Loki retorted, gesturing with his arms wide at the desert around them.

"Well if someone would move a little quicker..."

"FROST Giant Thor. FROST. Are you getting the frost part of this??"

"Well I'm certainly not getting the giant part"

"WHAT was that? I swear you little sh-"

A screech cut them both off, and instinctively they backed away from the sound, side by side. From within the chasm, a grotesque mighty claw reached out and took hold of the surface above. The claw consisted of three, long scaled fingers ending in thick hooks, that dug rivets in the earth as it took hold. Each digit was similar in size to one of Thor's legs... Slowly the creature attached hauled itself upwards out of the groaning canyon. 

"It's a pit dragon" Thor murmured

"Yes I can see that Thor, it's standing six feet in front of us"

" _Shut up Loki"_ Thor hissed. Loki watched as he took Mjolnir from his belt, "Are you hiding us?" He asked in a hushed voice, as the huge hulking head of the beast rose up out of the chasm and into the air above them.

"Am I what?" Loki asked, momentarily dazed by the massive creature in front of them. Thor looked at him as if he had grown an extra head.

_"Hiding us with magic"_ he hissed. Loki stared at him sheepishly. 

"Well you see" he started, eyes flicking between Thor and the dragon between them. "Ever since I've become Jotun, things have been, well, a little complicated"

"Loki..." Thor growled in a warning tone. The two were backing away in unison now. 

"Well I've lost all my Aesir magic." He finished lamely. The beast dropped its head to the floor, the crest of his skull still taller than either of the two men. It exhaled a sulphur smoke from its nostrils, unfurled its wings to expose a phenomenal span, and flicked its attention to between the two of them. " _So no Thor_ " Loki whispered  _"I am not hiding us"_

The creature parted its jaw, Thor and Loki sprang in opposite directions to avoid the flames that curled from the within the beast. Without further ado, Thor had leapt, and brought Mjolnir crashing down upon the creature, sending it skidding back deeper into the chasm. As he landed near Loki he began to spin Mjolnir in a familiar fashion...

"NO!" Cried Loki, and Thor's attention snapped to him. "No lightning! Mephisto will know exactly who is here!" 

"Then  _do something"_ He shouted, pummelling the dragon as it clawed it's way out once more. 

"I have no magic here Thor!" Loki cried in desperation. He was so focused on the fight in front, he failed to observe the movement behind him...

"THEN WHAT USE ARE YOU?!" Thor cried out, dodging flames and claws as Loki stood helpless to the side.  _There is no water...  Nothing but heat.. I can't even cast Jotun magic here, there is - THUD._ Loki hit the dirt as a thick, scaly tendril took his ankle and with it, his feet out from under him.

"LOKIIII" Thor cried out. His panic stricken face was the last thing Loki saw as the creatures tail pulled him over the edge. The whole world was a blur as he swung down. His stomach felt like he had left it somewhere up on the surface and he was wholly irresponsible for the shriek that escaped him. As he came to rest at the natural end of the pendulum, he looked up to be face to face with a ghoulish creature, waist blossoming out of the Rock and arms outstretched towards him. Pale white, with nothing but sockets for eyes and black staining around each orifice on its face, Loki had never seen such a horrific creature in his life. He jerked his head back, barely out of reach and completely out of control of where he hung. Not just one face, he noted. A thousand faces, perhaps millions, all growing out of the rock face and screaming in agony, writhing like a maggots on a dead haunch of meat. They extended as far as the eye could see in either direction until the chasm would twist out of view. None growing high enough to see sunlight, and no end to them below. He lurched what felt like several hundred feet lower, still gripped by the tail as Thor battled up above. Over the sound of the damned, he could hear nothing of Thor. But somewhere below, he heard a different roar... He squinted downwards, to what he hoped and prayed was the crashing roar of water...

Thinking fast, he held his palms together almost in prayer. The temperature had naturally dropped this deep into the ground, and a sweeping relief flooded through him as a small crystal of light blossomed in his palm. Hoping against hope, he let it drop. One second passed. Two. Three. 

And there it was, for the briefest of moments Loki saw the sparkling waters of a torrent pouring out of the side of the cavern into the inky blackness below. Stealing himself from fear, he slipped a dagger concealed from below his skirts, and stabbed into the scaly harness suspending him. Instantly he was dropped. 

The air in his face made it hard to see, but the second he felt the cool touch of the water he reached out to freeze it. He had perhaps underestimated the immense power behind the flow as he went crashing with it, until enough of the underground river half frozen to form thick icy bridge between both sides. Water continued to crash over it and the flow split in half before Loki's feet. He Looked up, and could see a slice of light obscured by the dragon. He steadied himself and tried to ignore his present, persistent company of ghouls, and focused on freezing what he could. Slowly but surely, the ice grew in columns up the sides of the cavern. Thick, solid tendrils, pillars fit to support the castle of Jotunheim. An unfamiliar bead of sweat dripped from his brow. 

_Lower Thor, bring him lower_ Loki mused. Under the might of Mjolnir, the beast was indeed dropping lower and lower.  _Just a little more._ His heart was pounding, when finally, the trap was sprung. The dragon dropped, and the columns rose high above its head.

Thousands of spears of ice shot out, impaling the beast through wings, limbs and tail. The creature writhed, held in place and roared out in frustration. It turned its head, opened its mouth and Loki saw the blossoming of flame when finally he found his mark. A thick shard pierced the beasts chest, and the light within it died. It's muscles sagged, and it hung there, lifeless. In the distance, something was flying towards him, a dark spot in the strip of light above. 

" _Lok_ _i_ " Thor cried as he landed on the icy bridge next to him. Before Loki knew what was happening, Thor has pulled him into a crushing embrace. For a moment he was startled, before slowly placing his arms around the Asgardians waist. They held each other there, for just a fraction longer than necessary. Pressed against Thor's chest, Loki wondered how he was ever supposed to let go. Relief was flooding through him, a warm feeling, and perhaps something else. All too soon, Thor released him and stood back awkardly.

"I thought I'd lost you again" he said sounding stricken.

"You never lost me Thor" he replied.

"Didn't I?"

"I'm alive aren't I?"

"That's not what I- EURGH GET IT OFF" he cried, leaping forward as flaccid, ghoulish arm took hold of his cape. Loki burst out laughing at Thor's horror. Until he slipped off the ice and over the edge. 

"THOR" he cried out, looking over the edge. All he could see was darkness... _Well technically the idiot can fly..._

"I'm alright" said a voice below, much closer than Loki anticipated. Frustrated Loki cast another crystal of ice to see Thor lying on the barren canyon floor no less than ten feet below. With much more grace, Loki deftly jumped down to Thor's side, cradling the light in one hand. The water poured into a river beside them, that disappeared once more into the dark. 

"Styx." Loki said, realisation dawning in him. 

"Pardon?" Thor asked, dusting himself down and giving the crowd in the wall a distrustful glance. 

"It's the river Styx, Thor. The river of the dead."

"Wonderful. River Styx. I can tick that off my bucket list." He said sarcastically. He pulled Loki out of his train of thought. 

"I- bucket list?" He asked incredulously. 

"Oh it's. Something Jane talked about, you see it's-"

"Ahhh you precious Jane" Loki cut him off.  _How could I forget her?_ Loki thought.  _I'm only here to help, don't get ahead of yourself._ He cursed himself for thinking Thor might see him as something more than a burden. 

"Actually, not my Jane. Not anymore" And seeing the kicked-puppy look on Thor's face made Loki feel suddenly sorry for him. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. "Perhaps now is not the time" Thor added, clearing his throat. 

"No, of course. Let's not" Loki replied, trying not to sound too pleased.  _He isn't with Jane!_ He thought with glee.  _Not that it will improve your chances..._ Said a nasty voice in the back of his mind. 

"So. River Styx. This helps us how?" Thor ploughed on with the matter at hand. 

"The river Styx flows to the heart of Hel!" Loki announced, delighted, and gesturing to the river in front of them. 

"Wait.. If we follow this, it will take us to Mephisto??

"Yes"

"Underground?"

"Yes"

"To come up beneath the castle, the perfect element of surprise?" Thor finished, beaming. 

"Yes!" Loki grinned back at him. Thor clapped him on the back and looked in then direction of the rivers flow.

"It's a bit.. Cold down here" Thor added, a hint of concern is his voice.

"Isn't it _wonderful"_ Loki replied. Beside them, a particular ghoul ceased his usual groan to hack and gargle at them. "Oh shut up" Loki snapped, and with a new sense of vigour they set off.

 

*****

In the cool of the chasm, Thor noted that Loki appeared much more comfortable. He moved with more grace, and thankfully, more speed. It was greatly welcomed when the river turned into the rock face and away from the sound around them into the silent dark. Worried they would have to swim the rest of the way, he was relieved when Loki, light in hand, stepped onto it and froze the surface, allowing the water to continue flowing uninterrupted beneath them. 

"Looks like you might be of use after all" He joked. His heart stopped dead when the ice gave a sinister *crack* under his weight. He looked up to see Loki smirking at him. 

"Watch your tongue, Thor" He added. _Absolute little shit._ Thor thought, but said not a word more as they plunged deeper underground. As they walked in what Thor felt was comfortable silence, he allowed himself to relax for the first time since Loki had disappeared in the beasts grasp. 

Was he imagining it, or had Loki almost looked pleased to hear him and Jane where no more? He had always considered having Loki was no more than a fantasy. He had never known Loki be interested in men, despite what rumours Fandral might spout. However the Jotun that had left him the other night had certainly seemed masculine... And on Asgard neither Valmir nor Peleke would be a woman's name. _T_ _hinking about it, I've never seen a female Jotun..._ he envisaged them to be much alike the men. Great hulking creatures, horned and hungry for war. Lost in thought, he hand't notice Loki stop and almost walked into him. He spoke before Thor could ask why they'd stopped. 

"There's a spit of land here. I need to rest. This much casting has taken its toll..." True to his words, Loki's face had started to look drawn. The two walked over to the dusty outcrop, no larger than Loki's room had been back on Asgard. Almost as soon as Loki had rammed the little crystal of light into the wall, Thor heard their icy pathway crumble into the river below. Loki slid down the wall unceremoniously and closed his eyes. Thor could not recall him looking so weary. Without thinking, he sat beside him and threw and arm around his shoulders, allowing Loki to settle against his side. 

"Time for sleep for little Jotun's" He taunted, and Loki grunted in disapproval. 

"You know, I'm nearly as tall as some of the guards... I practically come level with their nipples..."

Thor chuckled at that. "I suppose even the women are taller than you" he teased.

"The women?" Loki asked, and he tilted his head to look at Thor with one open red eye.

"Yes Loki, women. Have you forgotten what one looks like already?" There was a pause after Thor's taunts, and he saw a smirk on Loki's face. 

"Thor.. Have you ever seen a Jotun woman?" he asked, sounding innocent enough. 

"Well no... I hardly think they're lined up for an invading party of Asgardains..."

"As a matter of fact you have seen one." Loki replied.

"I have?" Thor tried to rack is brains of whom he might remember...

"Well yes, I mean you're sitting next to one right now."

Thor burst out laughing, when he was caught short at the absolute serious expression on Loki's face, who had sat up to look at him.

"But. But you were a man on Asgard... Only your skin colour changed..."

"The Aesir spell on me disguised my horns. I never knew they were there. Amongst... Other things..."

"Like a  _vagina"_ Thor said hoarsely, looking Loki up and down in a new light. He watched as Loki rolled his eyes.

"Yes Thor. Like a vagina."

"But.. But I.... You..." He was fumbling for words. "But as children! We bathed together! And you.. Well you had..."

"Well I have a dick too of course." 

Thor stared at him now. Clearly Loki was joking... But there he sat, wearing a very serious expression and it dawned on Thor...

"You're not joking."

"No, I'm not"

"But.. That makes no sense...it's-"

"There isn't separate genders on Jotunheim. We're all the same and just have, all the equipment... Believe me, it was more of a shock to me than it is you"

"Well I bet that makes for... Interesting sex..."

"It certainly does" Loki said mischieviously, before turning a very deep shade of blue.  _Is he blushing?!?_

"Peleke...?" Thor ventured.  _Finally I might have some answers from these names..._

"Peleke? Gods no. He went running the second he realised my magical prowess..."

"So Valmir then?" Thor pressed. Loki narrowed his eyes at him. It was Thor's turn to blush... 

"You seem awfully interested."

"Well you were never interested in men on Asgard" Thor answered quickly. "And well, you might have all the, uh, equipment but, you all certainly  _look_ like men..."

"Let's say Fandral might have had some truth in those rumours..."

Thor gaped at him, and Loki's smirk was interrupted with a yawn. Guilt bubbled up in Thor, this was not the time to press Loki with questions, he was exhausted. He held his arm out, and Loki crawled back to his side. It wasn't long before he heard Loki's breathing slow, and his body sagged with sleep. Try as he might, Thor couldn't keep his mind from what now lay between Loki's legs, and he thanked all the diety's he was asleep, as he trousers strained over his hardness. He tried to close his eyes and rest, but Loki was pressed to his side, and should he turn his head to rest his chin over Loki's brow, he could smell the other mans closeness. He pressed his palm to his crotch trying to find relief, sending nothing but a spike of arousal through him. He took a sharp intake of breath as he begun to rub himself through the thick fabric.

Beside him, Loki shifted in his sleep and laid a hand at the top of Thor's thigh... Thor had frozen from the movement and snatched his own hand away. He wouldn't risk Loki finding him... 

Trying to find sleep, he found comfort in one broken thought

_Perhaps... When all of this is over... We could... Together..._

 

_*****_

As they soldiered on Through the twisting tunnels of the river Styx, Loki had noticed a change in Thor. Loki had woken to find himself curled around the larger man like a cat, clinging to him. His warmth had been, so inviting, and his smell hand worked its way into his mind. He was glad he had woken first, his hardness was hard to disguise in his skirts.. Eventually after standing, stretching and decidedly not looking at Thor... He felt decent enough to wake the other man. From memory Thor had never been the most pleasant to wake... Ever before Mjolnir you would have described him as thunderous in the morning. But instead, he had blinked open those baby blues and beamed and Loki with a chipper good morning. Shrugging it off, Loki had suggested they plough on with the monstrous task ahead. 

For most of the morning, Thor had been trying to strike up pleasant conversation, asking about his brothers, his father, and briefly they spoke of Svartalfheim, and Loki's new found power of regeneration.

"So how did you discover you only had Jotun magic?" Thor pressed. He had been flashing a particularly charming smile at Loki all morning and now was no exceptions. 

"My regeneration was evidence enough, Besides, magic runs in bloodlines and I am a son of Laufey. By wasn't quite to lucky, but his strategy on the battlefield is supposed to be second to none..."

"Well you certainly seemed to handle him well enough.." Loki grimaced at the memory of the fight with his brother. Thor seemed to sense his discomfort... "You're other brother. Helbindi, was it?" Loki nodded, "How does he far in a fight?"

"He's like a dancer." Loki gushed, "A graceful, deadly dancer. I've never seen anyone move, or weave spells like him. It's, otherworldly..." 

"You admire him," Thor said, "That much is clear."

"He's my eldest brother, heir to the realm, the man is practically flawless. Yes, I admire Hel very much"

"You certainly make him sound spectacular, no wonder the two of you are related." And there it was, that smile again. It had taken Loki a while but finally he placed it. The smile he'd throw around the young maidens of Asgard. One that Fandral had also mastered well...  _Dear gods, is he... Is he flirting with me..?_ The thought took Loki completely off guard, and he failed to respond to Thor's comment. Instead, face flushed blue, he attempted to continue his walk in silence. He had no such luck...

"Was is Helbindi who taught you magic then?" Thor pressed. Perhaps Loki was imagining it, but was Thor walking closer to side? He murmured a confirmation, trying to distance himself a little. "Was it difficult? Transitioning?" 

"Is this an interrogation?" Loki finally snapped. Thor was so close, so friendly, so  _flirty._ He was worried his feelings would run away with him, he would get hurt. So as per usual he did what he was best at, and tried to push him away. 

"Magic was always between Mother and you, I never understood it, is all." Thor replied, his voice soothing.  _I never could put him off just by being a bit spikey..._ Loki thought. Nevertheless the mention of Frigga calmed him. 

"Magic is magic, weaving it takes concentration and calm. It was tricky, switching from Frigga's light to ice, a physical solid substance is much harder to command. But now, it's second nature. Just like it used to be."

"You make it sound so easy..." Loki heard that hint of envy, one he'd scare heard in an old brothers voice, whenever Frigga would delight over Loki's new tricks...

"If it were easy, everyone would do it" and between them, a smile grew. That had been Loki's response to Thor for centuries. "Besides, I have to stop and calm myself down from time to time, let myself focus... I doubt even Helblindi can cast in a panic."

"How though. How do you do it? Whenever she told me to find... What did she call it.." And Thor trailed off in concentration for a moment. "My centre. What on earth is my  _centre_. How do you do it?"

Loki was silent. It was the most open conversation he and Thor had had in years, long before Thor's hole to earth... Every inch in his body was telling him not to open up, but in the end he couldn't help himself.

"Well it's simple really. I think of you." 

"I- you think of me?" Thor sounded surprised. 

"Of course. That's the point of it, to calm yourself. Frigga always said, find what grounds you, what brings you comfort, brings you home. For me.. That's always been you."

"Even now?" Thor asked. He had stopped, and Loki turned to face him.

"Well. Yes. I guess old habits die hard..."

"And old habit. Huh. Is that what I am now..." And Thor's flirtatious manor had been replaced with that of a petulant child, sulking. 

"Well what is  _that_ supposed to mean."

"We rescue Mother. We get out of here. Then what. When do I see you again?"

The question hung, ugly in the air. When  _would_ Loki see him again? Thor would never leave Asgard. He was the heir, he  _couldn't leave,_ even if he wanted to. Which Loki very much doubted he did. Then there was himself on Jotenheim. He already knew, with a heavy heart, he would never leave his family now he had found them. No matter what new feelings he had for the blonde oaf might be... But perhaps with the new alliance, meeting each other may no longer be as taboo as it once was... And a stray thought made Loki smile. 

"What?" Pressed Thor. 

"Well I'm just imagining Odins face should I stroll into Asgard and ask if you can come over to play.." And as they caught each other's eye they both broke out in laughter. As they recovered, Thor's face fell serious, and he nodded over Loki's shoulder. 

"Was that there before?"

Ahead of them, undoubtedly, was a hazy orange glow. Loki dropped the crystal into the waters below, and slowly the two of them advanced. Slowly, the light grew brighter, and they began to hear voices. The river Styx ran into an enormous circular cavern. Above them, the floor of the room was nothing more than tight metal mesh upon which several bodies stood. The whole grate was similar in size to Odin's throne room, and suspended by numerous thick, black chains winding up the to ceiling. Torches hung in brackets around the room, casting an eerie glow over the scene. Silently, Thor and Loki edged their way to the waterfalls edge, staying out of sight on the safety of Loki's icy outcrop. He had no doubt in his mind, they had reached the centre of Mephisto's domain. 

"Mephisto, our agreement was you would see the fall of Asgard. I expected better work from you." Loki had thought it impossible to feel so cold in Hel, but the sound of Thanos voice sent shivers down his spine. 

"It is but a matter of time, Thanos. The Valkyries have yet to locate their missing souls. Odin will see his beloved in hell, and he will come. Only when the all father has left the realm will we mount an attack. To do so before hand would be futile."

"You're time is limited, Mephisto. Bring Asgard to her knees, or Hel will find it has a new master of the dead..." and with his threat, Thanos left the room over Thor and Loki's heads, leaving two shadows behind. A loud sigh remained. 

"Ahh my darling Frigga. You husband must soon come to rescue you, or you really are going to find yourself in a world of pain." He was followed by murmuring, the sound you might hear from someone gagged trying to speak. An indescribable rage welled up inside of Loki. With the rhythmic click of boot on metal, Mephisto too left the room, and the three of them where alone. Loki crafted a stairwell of ice and soon the two of them were standing in the room. There was a twisted, iron throne. Black like all the other metal in the room. It was decorated with various skulls of different species, and Loki couldn't help the horned skull of one of his kin forming one of the armrests. Beside it, a figure was hunched over, chained to the metal grate below. At the sound of their footsteps, her head shot up in surprise.

" _Mother"_ Thor gushed in a hushed voice, and he ran over to close the distance between them. He took the rotted gag from his mouth and the two set off in a hurried conversation. 

"You should not be here!"

"We're here to get you out, Mother. We must free you before father puts the realm in danger."

"No one should have come! Eventually the Valkyries will put this right!"

"We couldn't stand by knowing you were here... Just as father couldn't. Better we come, now, than Asgard is left without her King" Thor had managed to free her from the chains and she rubbed her wrists. 

"we..?" Frigga asked, and she finally looked over to see Loki standing there. He hadn't been able to bring himself to walk over there. Something had changed... More than just his appearance. Frigga had been all he called family over his trials from recent years. But now he had his true family... What did that make her?

"Thor.. Who is this?"

_She doesn't recognise me..._ And the realisation was like a punch to the gut. Slowly he moved forward, as he realised Thor was struggling to find the words. 

"Admittedly I've changed my look recently..." He ventured, to see realisation dawn on her face. She cried out his name and before he knew himself, he was on his knees in her embrace. He had so much to tell her, so much to apologise for, so much lost time that had to be made up... 

"It's alright, Loki" she said softly, and held his face in her cheek. "I know" and something passed between them, in just one look. And no more words had to be said. Loki knew his eyes were brimming over, and through a throat that fell full of a shards of glass, it was all he could manage to say. 

"I'm going to miss you, you know" 

She beamed at him, at both of them, a hand holding each of the men she had raised. 

"We  _must_ get moving" Thor urged. 

"How did you plan on getting out of here? There are so many guards, and when they see I am gone... "

"The way we came in! Loki, quickly, back to the river" 

The three of them ran to the icy stairwell, and once more they were at the rivers mouth.

"Wait'" Frigga said, and with a flick of her wrist, a trapdoor in the metal grate opened, leaving space for body to be dropped to the depths below... "That will keep them occupied for a while!"

Loki let the staircase fall away, and as the three of them stood on his ice atop to the Styx he once more tried to summon light to his palm. Instantly the ice below them cracked and Loki felt a wave of exhaustion over him.. Thor caught him as he swayed, and forgetting the light, Loki steadied the floor beneath them. 

"Save yourself Loki," Frigga soothed. "I will light the way. Find your centre and focus and we'll all be safe soon enough"

At the mention of his centre Loki was determined not to look at Thor who was holding him, but felt Thor's hands tighten around him... Frigga blossomed a beautiful flame on golden magic before them, and the trio set off into the darkness. 

 

*****

 

It was all too soon when Tho begun to hear the groans of the dead, as they approached the cavern where the pit dragon had been defeated. As they stepped onto the dusty banks of the Styx, Thor looked up to the red sky above, no more than a thin strip of light beaming down. There as an audible thud as Loki hit the floor, exhausted. The ice behind them fell away, leaving no trace they had even been there. Frigga helped him back to his feet, saying how proud she was, and that he could rest soon, when they were safe. The past day had taken a toll on the Jotun. But still even Thor suspected Loki wished it had gone on longer, the three of them, talking, joking, reminiscing all together. It had been precious, borrowed time. But it had been enough, for them finally to say goodbye. 

Frigga looked over Thor's head with a sad smile, and as he followed her gaze, saw a proud Valkyrie descending. 

"Frigga, I see someone made it here before me. I am Brunhilde, and I have been trusted with your escort to Valhalla."

Thor's heart started to pound, as he realised this was goodbye. Frigga was holding Loki, speaking to him softly, before letting him go and taking hold of Thor. 

"You live a good life, my boy" she said, and Thor could hear her holding back tears. "Look after yourself, and your father. And I swear if I see you within the halls of Valhalla within the next four thousand years there will be Hel to pay!" She sobbed, and pulled back to look at each other once more. Thor told her he loved her, promised to behave, and all too soon, she had taken Brunhildes hand and the two had ascended away. He wasn't sure how long he and Loki stood in silence together, watching the sky, but only when his tears had stopped falling did he finally turn to once very exhausted Loki. 

"We have to get back Loki, and soon. If they find us, capture us, then we really won't have prevented Odin leaving Asgard." 

"I know, I know, I'll be ok, just, give me a, moment" Loki was panting, Thor was unsure if he was overcome with emotion or exhaustion, but either way they would be delayed. 

"Hold tight" he said softly, and wrapped an arm around Loki's waist. Had he always been so slim. Sensing what was to come, Loki looped his arms around Thor's neck, and soon the two of them where squinting in the merciless sunlight of Hel. Thor put them down, back beside the pool they had arrived in. As he looked out to the castle, he noticed it swarming with demons and dragons all around.  _Well they've noticed she's gone..._ Was his only thought. Which he was quickly dragged away from. 

"Umm, Thor" came a voice from near his ear. He looked back to Loki, who had found his feet and stood face to face with him. Only inches away. Thor realised when Loki dropped his hands that he still held him tight by the waist. He was not sure where his courage came from, but Mjolnir dropped to his side, and he tangled his fingers into Loki's dark tresses, pulling him into a kiss. 

As he pressed his lips to Loki's he couldn't help the moan that escaped him. They were cool, but warmer than he'd expected. For a brief moment, Loki was a frozen as the ice he weilded, but then his arms returned to around Thor's neck and his mouth opened to him. Thor's hardness returned with a vengeance, and he couldn't hold Loki close enough. Their tongues searched in a heated kiss, and he began to lose himself in Loki's tastes, his smell, his embrace...

All too suddenly, Loki shoved against Thor's chest and went wheeling backwards. It was all Thor could do to cry out his name, and he noticed the bright light all around him, the floor burning, and as he looked up, he gazed into the bifrost. 

 

*****

 

Loki was still staring at the scorched ground where Thor had been standing only minutes before. He could barely stand now. He was truly, emotionally and physically drained. He longed for the icy embrace of Jotenheims wind... And with trepadation he walked over to the edge of the pool in which he arrived. He dipped his foot in and grimaced at the near boiling water below. A siren had begun to sound, and with the activity on the rise at the horizon, Loki felt an increasing sense of urgency. 

Taking a deep breath, he dove into the water. Instantly he felt like he was alfame, the water pressing in on him on all sides. He pushed through the agony, and dove deeper and deeper into the water. It was growing no colder, the pressure increasing on all sides. 

Where was the end? Deeper and deeper he went, becoming delirious from the pain, from his lungs crying out- 

Rock. He hit it, hard and a few precious bubbles escaped him. He pushed on it, scrabbled at it frantically... His ears had begun to ring and he knew he was running out of time. Suddenly, something grasped his ankle and he was being pulled backwards against the flow...  _Back towards Hel_ Loki thought suddenly, thrashing and kicking best he could. He broke the surface of the water and gasped in the cold sweet air, before limply kicking best he could at his captor. 

"LOKI" shouted a familiar voice, and finally Loki opened his eyes to see a blue face with red eyes, staring down at him. He became dimly aware of a colossal icy waterfall behind them, a starry sky above, and the soft snow below him on which he lay. 

"Loki" By repeated, face full of concern. As his vision began to fade, he felt himself lifted into his brothers arms. Perhaps he imagined it in his delirious state, but before he lost consciousness, he could have sworn he heard a sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This felt like an absolute monster to write. It is currently the very early hours of the morning, but once I got into it I couldn't stop! Sorry for any typos, I'll be going over it in the week! 
> 
> News update - I decided to get a tumblr... So if anyone wants to follow me and chat I'd love to get to know you guys!
> 
> Sredotaspeaks.tumblr.com


	17. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turmoil awaits our boys, and Loki's future becomes more uncertain again.

After his return from Hel Thor had slept for nearly two days. The emotional strain had apparently taken its toll on the God of Thunder. The sunlight of Asgard sifted through the veiled curtains at his window, which blew in a gentle breeze. It was a good day to be alive in the Sunshine realm. Or so Thor thought, blissfully ignorant. His mind had begun to wander to his last moments with Loki, the cool of his body against Thor in the stifling heat of Hel, the softness of his lips and wetness of his tongue, the very feel of his body moving against Thor's... he'd begun to harden at the very memory when the sound of page turning  _very_ close to him made his heart stop. He was relieved to find his father was not there as he woke, but Sif sat as his bedside reading though a small, leather bound book on her lap.

He slowly sat, grunting as he muscles strained. They'd stiffened somewhat over the last few days. Sif continued to ignore him until he had finished stretching and turned to face her expectantly. With a sigh, she deftly marked her page, closed her book, leaned back and turned to face him, crossing one leg over the other, and a soft knowing smile on her face. 

"I suppose you wonder what transpired in Hel?" Thor ventured, the worried look on her face said it was best to skip pleasantries. 

"Oh no, Heimdal has recalled your trip to us all after we carried back from the Bifrost and threw you to bed" she quipped, before smirking as Thor blushed red.  "But perhaps not everything from the look on your face..?" She added, raising an eyebrow. 

"Dare I ask why you've been watching over me if that's the case?" Thor pressed on, the mark of a chewed lip was starting to concern Thor.. 

"There has been a further alliance meeting since you were last here, your presence was requested..."

Thor swore, threw his covers off and went to wash his face in the dresser at the end of his room. 

"What did I miss? Has a decision been made?" He threw cold water over the still dust covered lines of his face, soaking the top of his shirt as he did. 

"Odin will not speak of it, he said he has to discuss with you first.." She trailed off as Thor strode into the adjoining room and changed into something more, princely. He ran his hands through his tangled tresses to try and make himself more presentable for his father. 

"Oh  _come here_ " she said, taking his arm and kicking him in the back if the knee to make him kneel. 

"OI-" he started

"It will take barely a minute to sort yourself out, you never bloody change do you?" She said, drawing his hair back and plaiting it into a bun. "Well it hides the grease more, go on" she finished my poking him in the shoulder, making him pitch forward as he stood"

"You know, when I rule Asgard you'll actually have to show me some respect" he said as he walked out the door, maybe half joking.

"Never going to happen!" She shouted after him, making him smile before walking the long corridors to this fathers throne.

 

***** 

 

Back in Jotunheim, Loki had fared no better. He too had awoken several days after the visit to Hel, although earlier than the golden oaf. Just like Thor, his room had been occupied when he awoke. Unlike Thor, it was not with the welcome smile of Lady Sif. Helblindi sat next to the bed, a coincidental parallel to Asgard as he read through a odious scroll. As he made efforts to sit up, he felt his muscles tremor at the very attempt at moving, but nevertheless he shakily rose to sitting, wrapping his furs around him. Hel didn't deign to look at him, but raised his head nearest to Loki, the thick choker that By had given him dangling from an outstretched finger. 

"Start talking" he said sternly, never raising an eye from his work. 

"What do you know already?" Loki ventured, surprised at how weak his voice sounded. The hot, dry air of hel had dome nothing for his throat. Helblindi laughed in response, 

"Oho no, that isn't how this is going to work." Despite laughing, he hadn't smiled. He fixed Loki with a glare. "Tell. Me. What. Happened."

Loki didn't like feeling at such a disadvantage with his eldest brother. Telling the truth may well land Byleister in deep shit, and he'd struggle to lie without knowing what Hel knew already. He'd normally try to worm his way out with a little banter, but the look on Helblindi's face told Loki his brother was not in the mood for lingual jousting...  _Fine then._ Loki thought.  _Resort to stubbornness._

He shrugged with ambivalence and looked to the door. "Not much. But I am starving. How long have I been out?" he tested, swinging his legs over the other side of the bed towards his door. Anything to turn his back to the look Hel was giving him. 

"It's guarded. Your imprisoned to your rooms. Until Father or  _I_ say otherwise." there was the sound of a scroll falling messily to the floor and heavy footsteps towards him. Loki cried out as Hel grabbed him by the arm and ripped him from his covers, dangling him four feet off the floor. "GODDAMIT LOKI" he shouted, "You tell me, and you tell me  _right now what you've done"_ Loki felt his heart pounding in his chest, and an burning pain in his arm. Tears sprung to his eyes and his arm felt like it was ripping, before Hel suddenly dropped him. 

 _"Shit"_ his brother cursed, as he dropped to his knees beside Loki. Piercing into his forearm were sharp shards of ice that had protruded from Hel's fingertips. As Hel reached for him once more, Loki scrabbled away, acutely aware that he wasn't dressed, grabbing his bed furs as he went. He managed to settle himself somewhere in a corner on the floor between his bed and the icy wall. The ice in his arm had already fallen away as fresh powder, but deep gouges remained as a painful reminder. Hel reached over, and grabbed his ankle, pulling him back out, only to take his head between his hands with an incredible gentleness for a creature his size. 

"Loki,  _please"_ he said much more softly, "Tell me what you've done"

"I- You're scaring me Hel" he said, voice shaking no less than before, only now he wasn't so sure if it was from his time in the underworld. "Where is Byleister? What's happened?"

Perhaps he looked particularly pathetic, on the floor, eyes wide and bleeding, practically naked and his head dwarfed by his brothers hands. Perhaps Hel didn't have it in him to interrogate his little brother, and had used his quota of menace for the day, or even he was filled with guilt as Loki clutched his fresh wounds like a child. Whatever it was, he slowly stroked Loki's hair behind his ears, before pulling his furs to cover him better. 

"Byleister is imprisoned below the castle. He has not spoken since he carried you back in his arms, crying. All he could say was,  _I should never have let him go._ So please Loki, start talking."

"Let him out" he said flatly. " _Let him out"_ again with more force. 

"Not until you tell me-"

"I won't say a word until he's here" Loki finished, and for emphasis turned his head from Hel. A hot, rising froth of guilt was building up in him.  _By the gods what have I put By through..._ He had forced his brothers hand into letting him into Hel, he had not thought of the consequences upon his return. Perhaps he really had put his Asgardian family first, and the thought did not sit well with him... 

"Our Father gave the word that until-"

"Then get him to UN-give the word-"

"He is off-world. An alliance meeting"

"Well then you'll have no problem in retrieving him then will you," Loki snapped, and shrugged off Hel's hand clutching his wounds closer. Hel tentatively held a hand out that Loki shied away from. 

"Loki I'm sorry I, gods I'm so scared right now, father is gone, you nearly died, the look on By's face when he brought you... please..." 

"Just bring him Hel. We can talk about everything then." 

Silently, his brother stood and walked out. A word was spoken to the guard posted outside that Loki couldn't decipher, and then all was silent. When he was sure he had a moment to himself, Loki rose and rinsed his wounds before dressing them. A tight white bandage around his arm stood out, stark against the pale blue. He threw the furs back onto his bed, and dressed in plain clothes. A skirt around his hips and a robe around his chest. He did not wish to feel exposed when his brother returned. When after a good half an hour Hel had not returned, Loki plaited his hair. When it had been an hour, he began to pace the room, his stomach a pit of worry, guilt and anger, throbbing in time with his arm. 

Truly, he was not angry with Hel for hurting him. He was angry with himself. For putting By in such a position, for worrying Hel to the point he couldn't control his fear.  _Why do I always to this to those closest to me. Classic Loki, well done,_ he thought bitterly. 

Not too long after, his brother were bursting into his room. By ran in first, pulling Loki into a crushing embrace. 

"I thought I'd  _lost_ you" he mumbled into Loki's neck, burying his face there. 

"By I'm sorry, I'm  _so sorry"_ Loki cried, a small sob escaping him. By laughed at that, and held Loki at arms length, looking him up and down. 

"Don't be. It's not the first time I've been shoved in the dungeon downstairs" he said, winking at Loki. "Out of the three of us, only Hel can behave himself. So come on, tell me I'm dying to know, did you pull it off?!" and he stared expectantly into Loki's eyes. Loki couldn't help but smile back at him.

"We did, and without causing too much of a stir. She's with the valkyries now, and Thor back on Asgard." By nodded approvingly before Hel cut in.

"ENOUGH. For the LOVE THE OF NINE REALMS can you please tell me whats going on?!" he said, exasperated at the doorway. Loki noticed that Hel had not ventured any farther into his room. He shared a look with Byleister who nodded, and retreated to sit on the edge of his bed, beckoning Hel closer. There, he recalled the events of finding Thor outside his rooms right up until waking with Hel next to him, omitting only a few, minor details of his companion... As Byleister made enthused comments about his trip (the fight with the pit dragon, freezing the river styx..) Helblindi remained quiet throughout. When Loki had finished, they sat in silence until By noticed his bandage. 

"I thought you managed to escape unscathed - which beast gave you this?" he had taken Loki's injured arm as he said it. 

"This one" Hel said with little emotion. "He was pissing me off." he finished be By could retort. 

"Geez, Hel what where you th-" he was cut off as the eldest brother stood and headed for the door. 

"You're to remain confined to your rooms Loki. You clearly can't be trusted. By, you can fetch him food and water as he needs. You're not to leave the castle." he said, speaking to the door. He followed his words out leaving his brothers behind. By let out a derisive snort. 

"I  _hate it_ when he sounds like Father." 

 

*****

 

Helblindi finally let out the sob he had been holding in since Loki had started to talk. He was in his own study, the most private place he could reach in the shortest time. There, he slammed the door and slid down it slowly. Unbeknown to him, he was following a similar turmoil to which Loki had just endured. Guilt bubbled up in him, and shame at the memory of Loki hanging from his hand. But more than that, betrayal burned in his chest, that which had been festering away since Byleister had refused to talk upon his return with Loki's limp body. He had been so open with Loki, so welcoming and Byleister had been, so  _cold._ How had they confided in one another without him? What had he done? And gods, to make it worse he'd made his littlest brother despise him. He thought that the way Loki had looked at him last time they were in this study had been bad enough, but it was nothing compared to this. Up on his desk, the small, stout crystal shone on, defiant in the face of Helblindi's grief. The little light gave him hope.  _Perhaps our brotherhood is not beyond repair_ he thought. It was true,  he and Byleister had often had worse fights than this, but they had history. 

Under all of these waves of emotion, a little knot of fear sat in the centre of his chest. He had seen in it Byleisters' eyes when he first saw him with Loki's body, and it had grown in Helblindi as he heard his tale.  _What if he hadn't returned..._ He shook his head as the thought surfaced. _It_ _does not do to dwell on what might have been._ He heard someone approach his room, the soft crunch of ice taking an immense weight. Deftly, he jumped up and wiped his eyes and feigned sorting the scrolls on his desk. The door opened without so much as a knock, and he knew only one man stood behind him. 

He turned, never the less surprised. He had not expected his father back so soon. He was met with a stricken look. 

"Helblindi..." he murmured, sounded stunned. "We need to talk."

 

*****

When Thor had not found his father in the throne room he had been concerned. When his search had taken him as far as the gardens at the rear of the palace, he knew that the news must be dire. Odin had been sat, alone, empty tankard in hand, staring out over his domain. Thor had sat silently beside him, until his father had been ready to speak as the sun was setting over the sunshine realm

"The alliance has made an ultimatum for us. Either we show produce a show of solidarity between our realms, or we will be left to fend the oncoming storm alone"

"I take it from your tone you're not best pleased with their suggestion" Thor ventured. "Thanos is a Titan, powerful. But we possess both the Winter Casket and the Tesseract. Those both combined with the might of our realm, surely we have the strength to stand alone?"

Odin smiled sadly, the smile Thor knew only too well he was being naive. "You're so young still my son," Odin sighed.  _Definitely naive.._ Thor thought. "I can feel it in my bones. The wheels of time turning, the changes in the fading light and the tales in the twisted trunk of Yggdrasil. Ragnarok is approaching. If we stand alone, we will fall"

The very r-word sent an icy dagger into Thor's heart, and suddenly it felt there was a chill upon the night. "Then we must do as they have asked. Provided Laufey will do the same" 

"Perhaps if we show willing and Jotenheim does not, we may be allowed sanctuary after all" 

"Just tell me, what is it?!" Thor pressed, his Fathers vagueness starting to tick a nerve. 

"A union, between both realms. A marriage of the royal families to be specific." A stunned silence followed his words, until Odin begin to laugh. "I must confess, their first mention was that both I and Laufey are widowers..." he managed, before he and Thor's eyes met, and the two descended into hysterical laughter. 

After several minutes of sore ribs, breathlessness and tears rolling down cheeks, the reality of his Fathers revelation began to sink in. Wiping his eyes, Thor let out a sigh. "So, you are to marry me off to Jotenheim, if Laufey agrees..."

"Why would he not?" Odin said, all seriousness had returned to his voice. "From a political standpoint, he's sitting much more comfortably than I. For one, you are my only son Thor, the heir to my throne, who's progeny will now bear the blood of Jotenheim. Laufey has three sons, all eligible, no doubt he will not consider marrying you to his eldest" 

As his father finished, the realisation dawned on Thor. He felt his face flush, and a swelling in his chest. "Loki" he breathed, not looking at his father. 

"It's almost amusing." he said. "When I had taken Loki from the waste that was Jotunheim, I had hoped he would rebuild the bonds between both our realms. A frost giant, raised and loved on Asgard. I had never, ever, considered it might end like this." His father sounded solemn, almost defeated. Thor made an effort not to beam with excitement, or weep from the tight knot of nerves building in his chest. 

"And Laufey, he has agreed to this?" he asked, trying not to sound overly keen. His father fixed him with a look Thor could not quite decipher.

"He left without much of a word, he looked appalled at the idea, but murmured something of speaking with his sons about this. I too, informed the alliance that the decision does not lie alone with me, but with you also-"

"You know I'll agree to this" Thor said a little too quickly. "I may not have entertained the idea of a marriage of convenience as a child... but it worked out well enough for you and mother" Thor smiled, remembering the tale of how his parents married with fondness

"You are already assuming Laufey will propose Loki as your betrothed" 

"You think he won't?" Thor asked, a little hurried as he felt a worry in his chest. He had not met Loki's eldest brother, which left the only other option..  Byleistr... the thought filled him with dread. 

"Laufey has never confessed to me at our scant meetings that Loki has returned to him. Under normal circumstances I would expect him to flaunt such a victorious return to my face... but the lack of such makes me wonder if he has not become protective over his youngest child..."

They sat in silence for a moment longer, before Thor stood. "My decision stands. We cannot face Ragnarok alone. I will see this through, regarldless of the whom my intended will be." he said, his words carrying a hint of finality to them. His father sighed, a very sad smile on his face. 

"It's moments like this Thor, you really are your mothers son"

 

*****

 

Loki and By sat holed up in his room. After Hel had left and By had performed rather accurate impressions of their eldest brother (no doubt to ease the tension in the room, his efforts went on in vain..) Byleistr had left and returned with what could only be described as a banquet deposited on Loki's bed. There, they had slowly gorged themselves, By asking in more detail of the fights on Hel, and Loki enjoyed regaling his tale much more this time. 

As they finished their feast, a commotion was heard approaching his door. 

"FATHER. This is  _beyond absurd_ how you can you be considering- FATHER LISTEN TO ME-"

Laufey swung the door open to Loki's room. "Both of you, dismissed" he barked to the guards outside. "We are to be left alone. No one enters the corridor." Behind him a stricken Helblindi followed. 

"Father please why are we even considering this" 

"Helblindi I have made it clear, this decision has nothing, and I mean  _nothing_ to do with you,"

"THEN WHY ASK ME TO BEGIN" Hel shouted back. Laufey grabbed him by the neck and pulled him close. 

" _Because I thought I had raised you with reason,"_ he seethed at him. "That you might cast light upon this without careering into hysterics" he added with venom, before releasing him. Loki and By shared a worried look. Hel overreacting? Loki dreaded to think how his other brother may react to their fathers return. Laufey folded his arms and looked between his two youngest sons. He shifted his weight, so a stout stool sprung up from the ice beneath him, upon which he sat.

"The alliance has spoken. Only a union on marriage between ourselves and Asgard will satisfy them that a show of solidarity has been made. I for one will not entertain the idea of taking  _Odin_ __ as a husband, and I shall not be marrying off my heir to the realm. The duty lies with you two." he said frankly, and looked expectantly between them. It took literally everything Loki had to maintain a poker face and not collapse into laughter at the thought of Laufey being wed to Odin (the look on his fathers face indicated that only By would remain alive to conceive such a marriage if he laughed...) 

"Shit.. I mean.. don't soften the blow or anything Father..." By said, his voice sounded hollow. 

"If we do not agree to this, Jotunheim stands alone, and we will be at the mercy of the Titan for our rebuff of his offer. One of you will be wed to the Odinson" he said, no more warmly than before. By let out a snort of derision. 

"Well you can count me the fuck out" he said, laughing, until he saw the defeated faces of his Father and eldest brother. The reality of his words sank in. He turned to look at Loki. "Not that, Loki I'm not suggesting you should either I," he seemed lost for words as he turned back to his Father. "There must be another way" he gasped, the horror clear on his face. 

"I will not wed Hel. He is heir to the throne. Our line will not be tarnished with Asgardian blood, they have taken too much from us already" 

"So you expect one of us to go and play happy families on Asgard?!" By cried back. 

"I do not. The council of the Alliance does. I cannot allow my love for either of you stand in the way of the realm. Such is the burden of rule." and with that, Laufey bowed his head and buried his face in his hands in silence. Helblindi and Byleistyr stared at each other, an unspoken understanding passing between them that they may have to part after all these years. Curled on his bed, Loki sat, stunned. 

 _A marriage to Thor..._ he thought, the idea once whimsical now a harsh reality. He remembered their parting kiss, the way their journey through Hel had felt like no rift had ever grown between them. And he remembered his home on Asgard, the friends, the family he once had.. and the fall.

He remembered all his past weeks on Jotunheim. His father and his brothers. His new life here. All that had passed. He knew By would never marry Thor. One of them would end up dead before the ceremony was even complete. The weight of what was to come pressed down upon him. He wrapped his arms around he knees as he hugged them to his chest, and he stared wide eyes around his room, to take it all in before that too became a memory. The thought of being with Thor, only Thor filled him with a joy unparalleled and yet the thought of leaving his family now filled him with dread. In a moment, his eyes felt hot, and he felt them began to tear up. He swore, as the first spilled down his cheeks. The three turned to look at him. "You know..." he said, breths starting to rise ragged in his chest, "I'd really enjoyed calling this place home" 

"Loki don't you dare"

"This isn't your burden alone"

"We won't lose you again"

His family all spoke as one, and fell silent. They looked amongst themselves searching for any comfort. But the truth of it sat heavy in his their hearts. Loki was leaving.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaaaaaah it's a wedding fanfic! Surprise! (Or not so much surprise as the case may be..) 
> 
> Hope you liked it. Only two chapters left now! Sorry this took so long. Again. Might even finish this fanfic by I don't know... 2020?


	18. Goodbye is the hardest word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter, Thor awaits his fate whilst Loki struggles to say goodbye.

Laufey sat, heat stifling him, in the godawful sun of Asgard. A glass sat in front of him, ice bobbing on the surface, and a drip of condensation running down the side. It sat there, mocking him. To add insult to injury, Odin had the absolute audacity to keep him waiting. He'd been sat there almost a whole minute before the All-father himself decided to grace the room with his presence. Laufey made the decision not to stand, and to raise no more than an eyebrow to his adversary's arrival. 

Wordlessly Odin took a seat opposite, and placed a scroll between them.

"Orders from the Alliance" where the only words the all father spoke. He rolled it toward Laufey with a subtle disdain. 

 They sat in silence as Laufey read the terms laid out. A simple affair really - a child of both Laufey and Odin were to be wed, and in such a union form a bond between Asgard and Jotunheim of which the likes had never been seen. Really, he was in a better position than Odin. The Aesir had but one son, one heir to the throne who's progeny, and such Odin's legacy, was to be tainted in Jotun blood. Laufey had three sons now, and under no circumstances would Helblindi, heir to his throne, have Aesir tainted offspring. He didn't doubt his eldest son would volunteer - as a show of faith between the realms on the surface, but deeper down to save his younger siblings from the burden. 

As he finished reading he stared at the statement in contemplation. After informing his sons of the news on Jotenheim, Loki had all but volunteered for the task. He had refused Hel the opportunity, and by doing such had sealed his youngest sons fate. 

_Not Loki..._ he couldn't help think. Not his youngest, his smallest, the child that looked so like his beloved, returned to him for barely more than a heartbeat. But as he stared at the dry scroll, unseeing and mind worlds away, the ruler in him battled the father, and deep down he knew that is was the only one choice that would serve the interests of his realm.

Odin cleared his throat, and Laufey snapped his gaze up, a little startled. 

"If this is all, agreeable to you, we need discuss terms" The Allfather said

"The terms look clear to me, a marriage between our children, to take place before the month is out, and after this our position in the alliance secured" Laufey said dryly, tossing the paper onto the table between them. 

"Fine, we need to agree the details."

"Such as?"

"For starters, you could name my future son in law. Then perhaps the location, a date. I doubt either of us wishes to drag this out, so let us settle this today"

Laufey considered his words for a moment as the bastard sun beat down on his blue skin. Indeed he was not keen for a repeat trip, but the next words left him with a heavy heart. 

"Loki. Asgard. By the end of next week. I will not have this audacity loom over my family any longer than it will take you to make preparations".  _If Loki is to go_ he thought bitterly  _then he must go, the longer I hold onto him the harder it will be._ His throat burned, and he felt every second he stayed tortuous to his soul. His eyes met Odin's and he saw surprise. 

"You would permit the union be on Asgard?"  

_Yes you oaf_ he thought.  _I'll be dead before hoards of your Asgardian dignitaries set foot in my home._ He opted for a different answer. 

"I have three sons to marry, two of them will be in mine own home. You have but one, I will not take that from you." he said curtly, and, good god, was that gratitude he saw on his adversaries face? Odin nodded and replied,

"Very well, we can be ready a week from today. Bring your guests with you and it will done at noon" with the air of a man organising his own funeral. Without another word, Laufey stood and strife out of the room. 

*****

Loki found himself in the lower catacombs of the palace. He had followed a familiar path, until the mouth of the tunnel had opened up to a sheer cliff face. He sat, legs hanging over the edge of the abyss, watching a fluffy of fresh snow tumble down into the inky blue void below. Here, there was nothing but silence as the snow made no sound as it fell. The breeze that stroked his hair back into the tunnel was enough to freeze an Asgardian solid, and yet to him felt like the soft brush of a lovers hand over his cheek. He peered up to the night sky, obscured by thick roiling clouds and appreciated the beauty of this stormy realm. _How little of it I have got to see_ he thought sullenly. In the days that had passed since his fathers visit he should have been spending all the time he had left with his brothers. On the contrary, he had retreated into himself, becoming a recluse. He hadn't returned to his rooms nor spoke to his brothers since that night...

_"I would be alone now..." he had said_

_"Loki please, we need to talk about this" Helblindi had said_

_"Tomorrow Hel. I'm exhausted. Tomorrow..." Loki trailed off_

But tomorrow and his talk had not come. Since that night Loki had found every nook and cranny in the iced palace to call his own. Perhaps he thought not seeing them now would make it easier to say goodbye. Perhaps he was just a glutton for punishment. Either way it had been so long since he'd spoken to another soul that when his name was spoken just feet behind him, he nearly fell off the edge, startled. 

He turned to see his brother, Byleister standing behind him, a tragic look on his face.

"Since when did you tread so softly" Loki quipped, turning his back on his brother once more. 

"Father is back from Asgard. He wants to talk to you" By said flatly. 

"How did you know where to find me"

"I never lost you. I've been following you since the other night, I was worried you'd do something stupid"

Loki snorted "Stupid? Like what??"

"Oh I don't know. Let's say run into a death trap around the palace or start a bar fight in a pit. Maybe head to another immortal realm to piss of the local diety-"

"All right, all right. Point taken" Loki interrupted. "Where is father now?"

"In his rooms. Hel is there." And Loki cringed at the thought. He and Hel had not made up since he returned from his escapades with Thor... he was brought out of his thoughts by a soft hand on his shoulder. "Come now." By said. "Putting this off isn't going to make this any less painful"

Dutifully and with a sense of dread Loki followed his brother. In his fathers room he found the rest of his family, and before he could take in his fathers expression he was smothered in the arms of Hel. 

"I love you Loki, don't you ever doubt it, I love you so dearly..." his voice was meek, but the power behind his words was not lessened. Loki leant into his brothers embrace as Hel kneeled and held him. Leaning his chin on his shoulder he looked over at his Father. Laufey wore a grim but determined expression. Loki could see a decision had been made, and before he could ask his father spoke;

"It will take place next week, on Asgard-"

"ASGARD?!" By exclaimed, "WHAT POSSESSED YOU to allow this ATROCITY to take place in that abomination of a city? If our brother is to marry this ass-hat then he can marry him at home" the emotion in his voice was raw, and he came to join Hel clinging onto Loki.

"I will not allow a hoard of Aesir into this realm, no matter what the cause" Laufey said flatly, "Thor is the only child of Odin. A marriage on Asgard is agreeable to both myself and that one eyed bastard."

"Next week.." Hel mumbled, and he looked to Loki before stroking his black locks. Loki forced a laugh, nod slapped on a smile. 

"You all make it sound like I'm dying" He looked around his family. "I'm getting _married_  and despite popular opinion, it's not the end of my life. I'm the thunder cunts husband, not his prisoner. Do you think you'll never see me again?" he stopped as their sad smiles, and knowing looks. Laufey poured four glasses of amber liquid, and beckoned his children to sit with him. 

There, the three brothers and their father talked of the past fondly, reminiscing in the memories with the threat of an uncertain future abated for one more night. 

 

*****

 

Thor drained another tankard of mead, and the warriors three sat awkardly around him. 

"Tell me again" said Volstagg. "Tell me again why you're marrying Loki..."

"Alliance said. Good of the realm. Gots to marry a Jotun *burp* prince" he slurred, slumping back into his chair. The four of them had take to drinking in the halls of the palace - a small room with no windows but a deep fire pit and plush leather chairs and furs adorning the room. The fire took centre place and cats shadows of the friends dancing up the walls. In Thor's current state of inebriation, the shadows where not helping him keep the room steady. 

"But Thor. Loki... surely... surely there is someone else. By the Norns Thor he was raised as your brother"

"Yeah but **his** brothers are all 14 feet tall with dicks the size of my forearm" he spat out. "I'll take Loki over those brutes any day"

"and so ends the line of Odin? The all father is really content to have no progeny? Only Laufey would have the Audacity to have three children and none of them daughters..."

"You ever seen a female frost giant Fandral?" Thor retorted, and burst out laughing at Fandrals confused face. "Gods, I wonder what a child of mine and Loki's would look like.." and he laughed again as an uneasy silence fell across the room. 

"Loki... Loki isn't a woman Thor.." Hogun said, with the air of a friend who was trying to remember just how much his comrade had drank that evening

"Yes thank you Hogun, after a millennia of knowing him I am well aware of that. Loki is male. But he's a Jotun, so he's female too. I'll draw you a diagram after our wedding night" he spat  out, and stared into the flames. He didn't want to lash out at his friends, but their reaction to his news had been less than favourable. Really he wasn't sure what he expected, but their initially response to burst out into laughter, assuming it was nothing more than a joke, had cut him deeper than he cared admit. He sighed, rubbed hi tired eyes and apologised. They all stammered to say how he need not apologise, they understood the position he was in... he brushed them off and stumbled to stand. He looked about his three friends and felt a sad ache - Sif had been no where to be seen since the announcement had been made. He drained his class in a decisive mover and bid his friends good night. Enough was enough. He was going to bed. 

It was only as he staggered down the empty halls that he realised they didn't understand his position. They didn't understand it at all. He was marrying Loki, and they no doubt expected him to be filled with dread, with reticence, with disgust. In reality, it was all but the opposite. The thought of having him within his arms once more filled him with joy he could barely contain it, but the thought of letting them know that... why did it fill him with shame?

He haphazardly removed his clothes and scattered them about his room, collapsing into bed in a bronzed, sweaty, booze heap. There his mind began to run fervent with the image if a lean, blue body, radiant red eyes, long legs draped in skirts and the irresistible mystery that lay between them. Between his own legs, he cock ached for not the first time in the last week. With a hungry sign he slipped his hands down his sweaty abs to his thick, hard member and took a rough hold. The thunder gods back arched and he stroked himself, and imagined that beautiful blue man astride him starting down with that _infuriating_ grin on his face

_Loki_

The words left his lips breathlessly and he felt the heat of desire coiling in the pit of his stomach. His fevered mind continued to wander. Perhaps Loki, pinned beneath his weight, squirming against him crying his name as they moved as one. He imagined being buried deep in that lithe body, tracing every soft line of his skin with his tongue down his torso...

Thor cried out as he spilled over his hands, sinking back into his bed sheets weary and really no more satisfied that any other night in the previous week. But this night was different. This night was the last he would spend alone in this empty bed, filled with frustration and feverish dreams. Tomorrow he would be with his hearts desire. Tomorrow he would have Loki. 

Tomorrow, he was getting married. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took ages again... but there's only one chapter left now guys! It's gonna be a long one, BUT I'm determined to have this finished before ragnarok comes out!


	19. Till death do us part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every new beginning must come to an end, and so Loki returns to Asgard to meet his fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOTALLY LIED there will be another chapter after this, simply because writing this one has been MONSTROUS. I hope you enjoy it!

Loki stood, alone in rooms that should be familiar, but in reality felt like they were from a dream. A faint breeze drifted through thinly veiled windows, a sweet autumnal air in the sunshine realm. Green silks and grey fur throws dominated the golden room, old scrolls and tomes littered a desk at which he once sat. His old bedroom looked untouched from the day he left it - when he left as another man. When he left to sit the throne of Asgard. When he left to face a man named Thor in battle on the bifrost. When he left to fall from this realm into the grasp of a madman. _Indeed, that was another man than who stands here today_ he thought to himself. 

He had been sent to Asgard surrounded by guards. In Jotun tradition he had been covered in thick blue veils and shrouds so that his face would not be seen until his wedding. Such was the tradition of any Jotun to marry - neither man would be seen until the ceremony unless it be by family. He had been marched with his entourage before Odin. An ironic parallel to his last trip up the stones of the throne room only months ago. He felt no less a prisoner then than he did now. Odin had stared down on the hidden figure stooped below him, and advised him that his own rooms would serve for his preparations. He had but hours to ready himself until the ceremony. There he had gone to wait, alone - save for the guards stationed outside. 

As he turned to take in the room, he caught sight of himself in the ornate mirror. He had thrown his covers off the second he walked in, and they still lay now in a heap by the door. His stark blue skin and red eyes looked out of place in the Asgardian setting. He wore plain skirts that disappeared into the hue of his skin. Soon his brothers would arrive to dress him for the occasion. 

He walked out onto his old balcony and took in the view of Asgard before him. Hundreds of feet below he could hear the hum of thousands of people gathering for today's spectacle. Banners snapped in the breeze that stroked his skin and the swarming people looked like ants below. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading over his lips, as despite all his apprehension for the future, he didn't doubt Thor would look astonishing awaiting him at the alter today. That glistening armour draped in red, his heart swelled at the thought of finally, _finally_ standing in front of Thor once more. 

He jumped as a fist hammered on his door before it swung inwards, and two familiar faces stooped into the room before standing, horns nearly grazing the ceiling. 

"You think Asgardians would know how to build a bloody door" By spat, throwing several bags onto Loki's old bed. Helblindi walked over and embraced his younger brother, carefully placing his baggage onto the desk. The two of them looked incredible. Swathed in blue silks and glistening sapphire gems over their necks, they looked every bit as princely as Loki knew them to be, beside them he felt like a disappointing spectacle. 

"How are you feeling?" Hel asked, hand on his shoulder and warmth in his eyes. 

"Honestly?" Loki asked raising an eyebrow, "Excited" he finished, a grin spreading on his face.

"Bloody brilliant." Býleistr interrupted, hurling a brush over to them which Hel caught with ease. "Now settle down, we've got shit-loads of work to do" 

 

*****

Thor stood with his father in the vast empty ceremony room. Soon it would be filled with Aesir and Jotun alike, signifying a unity the likes of which the nine realms had never seen. The gravity of the situation weighed upon him, or perhaps that was the immense weight is his ceremonial armour... 

The two stood in comfortable silence and the roar of people outside the palace carried to them on the breeze like an oncoming storm. Thor must have seemed agitated, for his father clasped his shoulder with a weathered hand and smiled at him - the first warm smile Thor has seen from him in some time. 

"Relax my son," he said softly. "The apprehension is normal for any man about to marry. Trust me, once the festivities begin you will wonder why you ever worried. I felt the same before I wed your mother"

"Did your marriage carry the fate of two civilisations on its success, Father?" He quipped back, but let out a hasty laugh and shook his head. He knew better than to rebuff his fathers reassurances, they came so few and far between. "So what advice shall I receive from you on the morning of marriage?" he jested, smirking at the man beside him. 

"Well my father told me its better to do as I'm told," Odin said, barking with laughter "I urge you not to do the same!" and Thor laughed with him. 

"Aye. I've never given Loki the satisfaction before, I can't see a reason for that to change". His fathers hand fell from his shoulder, and he looked at Thor more seriously now. 

"Thor, for all we might joke, politically you stand in a precarious position." he started. "Loki has seized the throne before, and it is not a feat Asgardians will forget"

"We are to wed. He is to be, well, he is to be Asgards... queen" Thor finished, such a thought had not occurred to him before. "He admired mother more than he ever did you or I, I propose he follow in her footsteps. Take the mantle of leading the sorcerers guild, he was always so involved and no one has stepped into the role since she... since she left" he tailed off. 

"I daresay there are those there still loyal to him" Odin said cautiously.

"Loyal?" he questioned. 

"Thor, for over a millennia he was your brother, and heir to the throne alongside you. For all your talents and popularity, no, for any leader looking to step into power - there will always be those apposed. Loki will have had firm friends no doubt in the magic arts who would have rejoiced in him taking the throne. You and I are alike, we place prominence on Asgards military power, not its magic. There are those that disagree." 

Thor shifted his weight uncomfortably. He had never considered opposition to his ascension to king - call it naivety. His father continued;

"But Loki is Jotun, and his claim no longer stands. I think you are right - he would be honoured to take up Frigga's mantle." and Thor could not read the expression on his fathers face as he stared down the aisle - be it sadness, nostalgia or relief. "For all his faults Thor, Loki is smart, he knows people, he knows how to read a room, and most of all he knows persuasion. You could ask for no finer companion in the trials that lie before you" he finished. Thor followed his gaze to the high ceiling above them as they lapsed into comfortable silence, appreciating the impressive room before them. Great marble pillars rose into the room, as all the walls curved to a great glass ceiling above them. Golden light poured in, catching the carvings and alcoves making them glisten. Thor and his father stood now, at the top of the marble steps edged in gold that mirrored the throne room - except atop the platform stood only a solid gold plinth. The aisle was marked with a thick white carpet, scalloped edges and soft glowing candles. No pews filled the room as guests at a royal wedding would be expected to stand before kneeling. 

Suddenly the two of them started as the great door at the end of hall swung open, and Heimdal walked toward them. 

"It is time, my Lords" He said, his deep voice reverberating around the room.  

*****

 

 _Thank god I only ever have to endure this indignity once_ Loki thought, irritated standing naked in his rooms. It had been several hours since his brothers arrived and frankly the thought that he still had not yet been dressed was enough to make Loki roll his eyes from his head. But he refrained. After arriving the two brothers had set about placing things around his room, in an almost ritualistic fashion. Within earshot of Býleistr, he had joked if this was really all necessary whilst Hel placed numerous jewels on his desk for what felt like the thousandth time, each repeat in a slightly different location until he was satisfied. The look of hurt that he had seem from By was enough to fill his stomach with hot guilt. 

 _Loki..._ he had said  _these are our last moments with you as our brother. Our last time to share with you our most sacred Jotun customs. And our first chance to practice these... so remember them well. One day we hope you'll do the same for us..._

Loki had gone to stammer an apology, feeling awful - but By had crushed him into an embrace and gave him a look of understanding - it went unsaid between them that no offence was taken. 

Since then, Hel had found Loki's old bathroom and filled the tub with intoxicating scents and an ice cold bath. There he endured his brothers scrubbing every inch of his skin and raking oils through his hair. Once dry, Hel had wrapped him in thick wool, each limb mummified and he was placed cross legged before By. The middle brother has spent nigh on an hour pulling a thick comb made of bone through his black locks of hair. Once upon a time they had curled onto his shoulder, they now reached the base of his spine. Finally the rough brushing stopped and Býleistr began pulling strands about in a fashion Loki never thought those enormous hands would even be dexterous enough for. Hel unwrapped him and began to follow the lines of his skin with an oil. As he cast his eyes down mid procedure - he noticed the arm that had been completed had a subtle difference to the rest of him. The soft raised marks that wrapped around his contours like lace has been emphasised, and caught the eye just a little more than before. Finally, By set something ridiculously heavy into his hair and Hel had (what felt like) painted his face. 

So here he stood naked, oiled, painted and primed, as the two brothers before him pulled ream after ream of sea green silks from the chest by his bed. They took time, threading different fabrics through a delicate pewter belt, so much so he could see each one individually before they became part of a larger piece. 

The mainstay of the garment was a deep, green, thick piece of silk that would provide him with his modesty. On top of that came different shades of green fabric, some nearly transparent, some covered with gold runes and some etched in beading, until finally the skirts were complete and Hel walked it toward him, as yard after yard of the garment followed behind. Loki stepped into it, and his eldest brother fastened the heavy metal around his hips. He heard the sound of metal behind him and made to move to the desk where By shifted jewellery, but Hel held his hand up, and slowly the brothers began to garnish him in in emeralds and sapphires. First, he had an ornate anklet placed on his left leg, and then several pins holding jewels fastened into the front of his skirts. Rings adorned most of his fingers, and soft silver bangles placed on both wrists. A silver spiral wrapped around his right bicep, a heavy sapphire set in the centre. Then By approached him, with what Loki could only describe a a huge glistening net of precious stones. At the top, a choker which fastened around his neck, and as Loki looked down at his almost bare torso; he was dripping with fine silver chains and the brightest diamonds he had laid eyes on, set amongst smaller sapphires and emeralds. He could feel several chains also drip down he back, and he didn't doubt they were any less ornate. 

Finally his brothers stepped back, and took him in. Hel sniffed and with it By burst out into laughter

"Tell me you're not going to  _cry_ Hel!" he teased and slapped his brother on the back. But despite it Helblindi looked teary eyed.

"Loki you look beautiful" he said, voice cracking. 

"Yeah you don't look half bad" By said smirking, and walked over to uncover the floor length mirror Loki had been denied access to for the day so far. As the whoosh of the fabric came tumbling down, he couldn't help the sharp intake of breath as he took in his own reflection. 

The hours had been worth it. The man staring back at him was, and Loki had never used the word to describe himself before,  _beautiful._ His black hair tumbled back from his horns, flowing over his shoulders with fine braided strands wrapped around it, and shorter waves curling over his collarbones adorned with silvery droplets, that Loki could see where delicate teardrops of Býleistr's ice frozen to the locks. Atop his head, gripping his horns was a silver circlet with soft chains hanging down holding jewels, looping over his mane again and again in place of a veil. His body, a deep icy blue was adorned not only by the impressive jewellery, but by Hel's attention with the soft oil. His fierce red eyes were a stark comparison to the sea of blues, greens and silver, and even they had been framed by his thick black lashes Hel had painted. Loki let out a low whistle. 

"You two know how to make a lady feel special" He said, not managing to make the words sound as mocking as he intended. 

"You've a lucky groom ahead of you" Hel said, having composed himself. Nerves set into Loki at those words. Sure Thor had seem him as a Jotun now - even kissed him. But that was after the heat of battle and the thrill of success, out of sight of the entire realm. How would he react to him now the two of them stood before Asgard? 

"Deep breaths little one" By said, uncharacteristically reassuring. "I have no doubt your golden princess will think you a wonder as you walk toward him" Loki beamed at him in thanks, before the door swung open without warning, announcing the arrival of only one person who would be as bold to do so. 

Laufey strode into the room, wearing silks of inky midnight blue upon his hips and shoulders, looking every bit as kingly as Odin did in armour. He stopped, and with Helblindi and Býleistr he fawned and cooed over Loki, as they said again and again of his beauty... Loki phased it out, as he realised, taking the sight of his family in such a strange setting, that this was it. This was their last hurrah. He eyes suddenly felt hot, and his throat tight. It must have shown on his face as Laufey came to kneel before him, and took Loki's shoulders gently in his arms. 

"Helblindi, Býleistr, leave us now."

"NO!" Loki cried, reaching a hand out to his brothers. This wasn't it, this couldn't be over. The last time they would spend together finished in an instant. The two stopped in their tracks, a stricken look at their father. 

"Loki. Don't you ever think this is the last time you will spend with your family. Alliance or no alliance, if Odin intends to keep you on this rock from my grasp I will tear down these walls to see you. You will come home, whenever you like. You still have so much to learn... don't think Helblindi will let you out of training just because you've gone and got married" he teased, and waved a hand signalling his boys to go. Loki composed himself and nodded in agreement. This would not be it. The bifrost would carry him to Jotenheim as he pleased - he was to be royalty once more in this realm. More than that, he would be royalty that one day would answer to no-one but Thor. It was going to be ok.  _It was going to be ok..._

Loki stared into his fathers eyes, who told him softly of how the marriage was to be a mix of Jotun and Asgardian tradition. Laufey would precede him down the aisle, taking his place beside his brothers. Loki would walk, alone to his betrothed, as is Jotun custom. There, Odin would read them the rites traditional to Asgard and once finished, Laufey would present them with a dish of water from the icy pool that sat, undisturbed in the centre of Uppsalla, from which they would both drink. After that, the two of them would walk hand in hand into their new life together. 

As his father spoke, the reality this was really happening returned to Loki and the giddy feeling of excitement began to flood his chest. 

"Is it nearly time?" Loki asked, as his father finished. 

"It has been time since I arrived. The two realms will wait until you are ready. And then we go" Loki took a moment, and nodded. He followed his father to the door and stepped into the corridor. The palace was eerily quiet as they strode in silence, until they stood before the enormous ornate doors of Asgards ceremonial room, closed before them. Alone for just a moment more, Laufey turned to speak to Loki one last time. 

"My youngest son, my sweet Loki returned to me. Hear my last blessing before you step forth into new life." he stood towering over Loki, and he could not help but feel in awe of his father and King before him. "May your joys be as sweet as soft ice that grows, as bright as a fire when winter winds blow, as countless as leaves that float down in the fall, as serene as the love that keeps watch over us all." 

And without another word, Laufey turned and place his palms on the doors that dwarfed even him, and pushed them open into the room beyond. 

*****

 

Thor's chest had grown tighter and tighter as the room filled to nearly over capacity and the hum of excitement grew louder and louder. Jotuns respectfully lined the room outer, as the Aesirs who stood at half their height filled the centre of the room. Lining the aisle he saw more familiar faces, and at the front his closest friends who beamed at him despite their trepidation the night before. Sif stood there, resplendent and beaming at him. The atmosphere in the room was tangible - a new era for the eternal realms started today. 

The hum grew louder as the guests waited and Thor began to grow nervous. He hadn't considered that Loki might change his mind - Thor classically would commit to any idea, good or bad, and see it through to end. Loki was always much more... unpredictable. His heart jumped into into throat as the doors swung open, but dropped with disappointment as Loki's monstrous brothers walked up the aisle carrying a wide, icy dish filled with crystal clear liquid. They walked up the steps to show their respect to Odin, before they nodded in acknowledgement to Thor, the one he did not recognise even smiling, before descending to stand at the bottom of the steps to one side holding their watery vessel. Thor noted the shuffling behind the princes as people began to relocate for a better view...

Just as he was about to turn to his father in worry, a hush settled over the room, and the doors swung open once more. He heart started to hammer away in his chest. This was it. 

Laufey swept in, looking every bit as intimidating as they day they first met. Even with his impressive stride, he took his time to walk the aisle and once before Thor and Odin, he bowed his head respectfully, if not a little quickly, before joining his eldest children and casting his eye back from whence he came. Somewhere in the eaves, a choir began to softly sing. 

He came, gliding into the room like a vision in green, and everything else faded away. He glistened in the golden light shining down in shafts from the heavens above, shimmering like a mirage. Thor's blue eyes met the fiery red ones of a man he had loved more dearly than any other being, and as they did, a flash of white set below them appeared and Loki beamed up at him. He held his chin high and proud as he walked the Asgardian halls he once called home. Behind him followed a river of greens, flowing without resistance over the soft marble. In what could have been an eternity or an instance, Loki was climbing the steps and reached up to him. Thor took his hand, and Loki stood before him, looking every bit the prince Thor knew him to be. He broke into a wide smile as he saw uncertainty pass over Loki's face, and the gesture was returned again. Somewhere beside them his father had begun to speak, and his words washed over him as he lost himself in Loki's gaze. 

Thor couldn't say how long had passed as he tried to pour all he was feeling into Loki without saying a word, when he felt Loki's grip tighten on his hands and he surreptitiously tipped his horns toward Odin. In panic, realising he was to make a response at some point today, his fathers words suddenly became clear in his ears.

"- and to you my son, I ask this. Will you shelter this man, so that he may feel no rain? Will you provide unto him, putting naught before him? Will you stand by him, so that he may never stand alone? And when all is said and done, will you wait for him, aside an empty chair in the halls of Valhalla, so that he might sit beside you at the table of eternity?" 

Thor's eyes never left Loki's, as he nodded and said loud enough for the hall to hear, "To you, all-father, this I swear - I will." He watched as Loki's smile grew, causing his nose to wrinkle in a way Thor had known since they were children. To Loki Odin asked the same questions, and he answered in kind.

Odin then took the thin golden sash from his own waist, and bound their wrists and forearms together in a handfast. Almost instinctively Thor pitched forward but an inch to kiss Loki when he felt his hands pushed ever so slightly back, and Loki finally broke his gaze to look at Laufey climbing the steps towards them with the wide dish of water, nearly the width of Thor's own chest in diameter. Loki turned his hands, fingertips not leaving Thor's, to face his palm upwards. He mirrored Loki, and the heavy vessel placed in their hands. 

"Thor and Loki, I bid you to drink deep from the icy pool of Uppsalla, and by doing so, may you harbour a bond between you that may weather any storm of anger, survive any draught of affection, and endure any hardship of love, harsh as the icy winters of Jotenheim herself". A heartbeat passed in which Loki and Thor stared at the giant king dumbstruck, before Laufey acted. He raised an enormous blue hand and with incredible gentleness helped lift the dish to his lips, and nodded encouragement. Thor drank deeply, the icy water burned his throat as he drank one long mouthful, Loki tipping his end toward him. He finished, and returned the favour as Loki drank deep. Bowing his head, Laufey took the silver platter with him, and returned to his princes as Thor took Loki's hands. Odin spoke once more, and they turned their faces to him. 

"By the powers of Jotenheim and Asgard combined, we see the union of our two great realms in the men before us. May our future harbour peace and prosperity. And to my son's" he said addressing the two of them, "May your future harbour naught but unyielding, unending love". With a flourish, he slipped the golden sash from them, and smiled, nodding his head to Thor. 

Thor snapped his gaze back to his love who seemed suddenly closer, as without hesitation Loki stepped to him and pressed their lips together. 

Time stopped, and Thor felt those soft cool lips joined to his. Somewhere, on a sunny day in a ceremonial room upon Asgard, he heard the exultation of two realms aligned. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have one chapter left and I hope you're all geared up for some graphic Thorki action (Finally! right?) As some of you have commented there's a long road this story can follow. If the ragnarok movie gives me any ideas of where to go from here, then I might consider continuing the story a bit farther down the line, but the plan was always to end it after the wedding. 
> 
> Next chapter already part written, so keep your eyes peeled!


	20. Looking forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for our boys to finally GET SOME (How did this take 20 chapters to happen?)

The stars shone above the great hall on Asgard. Somewhere, a fire poured smoke up to the ceiling and its scent spilled into the room. Loki sat beside his husband at the top table, Laufey to his right, and Odin to Thor's left. The rest of the hall was filled with long tables filled with a feast, as everyone made merry with mead and meat. Jotuns sat between Asgardians and the sound of easy chatter had settled over the room. As of yet, he had not been alone with Thor. After an all too brief kiss at the alter, they has flown down the aisle together, down the steps of the palace, and paraded before the realm. There had been dignitaries to meet of either realm, before being sat in the high backed wooden chairs in which they sat now. For the following hours they had endured speeches and toasts, until now when they could eat in peace. To each other, they had not spoken a word, but often held the others stare in and understanding gaze. Loki sat silently, staring at the full plates in front of him. Thor was in a lighthearted discussion with his father. 

Abruptly, Laufey stood and placed a hand on Loki's shoulder as he leant over his new husband to speak to the all father.

"Odin, we should not delay further - the alliance awaits." Odin gave a curt nod, and stood. The hall quietened as another speech was expected, but he waved at them to carry on with their conversations. The two kings departed and the hubbub returned to full volume. 

"Alone at last" Thor quipped, looking to face Loki. Loki looked at Thor, out over the room, and back to him. 

"You have a intriguing definition of alone, Thor" 

"Oh well now,  _that_ definition of alone comes later" He replied, broad dashing smile and winked at Loki

 _Smug sexy bastard_ Loki thought, but he held his husbands gaze before trailing his eyes down his body, over those broad shoulders and chest, those thick arms and taught waist. When his eyes returned to Thor's the blonde was blushing and smirking - Loki "hmmmm'ed" at him, before finally taking a bite out of his meal, lips lingering on the fork a little longer than necessary. They had kissed at the alter and the aftermath of rescuing Frigga, but other than that any expectations of what might transpire between them had remained unsaid. There was a chance Thor had been acting on principle, a kiss at the alter expected, the heat of the moment getting the better of him in Hel. But then there was the flirting. But they had been brothers... _I swear if he does not want me like that after all of this fantasizing I might actually die_ Loki thought, but rather than say anything allowed, he took a drink. 

"Are you always going to be trouble?" Thor asked, smile unmoving.

"Come now Thor, you'd be disappointed if I had learned to behave myself on Jotenheim" and Loki's spouse laughed at this. He threw his head back, gold locks catching the light and Loki's breath catching in his throat, a familiar heat brewing within him, He cleared his throat and looked out over the halls. "Did you ever think we'd see the day? Asgard and Jotenheim joined?"

Thor took his hand he had left on the table top into his own, and eyes never leaving Loki said, "I did not, although I dreamed of it, and you many a time over the centuries, a dream of peace." He held his hand a little tighter. "Indeed I dreamt of you many an evening, late in the night..." His voice had dropped and he spoke softly, dangerously slow. Loki felt the heat in his cheeks as his words went straight to his groin. He refused to move his gaze from the room in front of them. 

"Sif appears to be arm wrestling my brother" he said airily, watching the Jotuns and Aesir cheering around Sif and Byleister. She won, not easily, and likely out of pure stubbornness. She raised her arms in triumphant victory and Hel fell about laughing behind Byleister who looked to Sif in a mixture of horror and adoration. Suddenly he stood to his full height, causing the nearby onlookers to quiet uneasily, until they fell about laughing as By curtsied gracefully and the cheering resumed. Throughout it, Loki felt the weight of Thor's gaze on himself. 

"Do Jotun's always blush such a deep shade of blue?" Thor teased, before releasing his hand and stroking his knuckles up and down Loki's arm. Loki snapped his gaze to Thor. _Seven hells he's killing me_ Loki thought. The smirk on Thor's face was borderline provocative. 

"Do you think the flirting could wait until we're in private?" Loki said, almost pleading as he pressed his thighs together in frustration. 

"You're my husband, its my wedding night, and you're dressed like my wildest fantasies" Thor pressed on, leaning perhaps and inch closer to Loki - a movement likely unnoticed by anyone but the two of them, "I doubt anyone would expect anything less than a little harmless flirting between newlyweds" and with that took a long drink of wine, before licking his lips, eyes locked with Loki. 

"Oh yes, perfectly harmless," Loki snapped, his frustration was ongoing and frankly he couldn't think of anything other than biting those lips himself. 

"Having an effect on you, am I?" He replied looking thoroughly pleased with himself, before leaning right over to speak into Loki's ear, his breath ghosting over his skin. "I bloody hope so, because under this armour I have spent the day half hard just looking at you, and right now, I am _aching_ over you, and I'm unsure how much more of this torture I can take." He pulled his face back far enough to gaze right into Loki, who had forgotten to breathe. There it was, that unspoken thing between them, finally hung in Thor's words between them. Somewhere from within the raucous crowd, Byleistr shouted,

"GET A ROOM YOU TWO" 

Loki's head snapped to him in horror as the attention of the ceremony was brought to their intimate exchange, and he was fairly certain he had not ever blushed such a horrific shade of navy... At the remark, Thor stood up from his chair, arms thrown up in exultation. _Oh good god.._ He thought, staring at Thor in despair as the oaf shouted back across the room

"My new brother!" He paused as the room cheered at the term of endearment, "A magnificent suggestion!" Again, cheers and a tirade of wolf whistling. Loki locked eyes with Hel, who shrugged at him and joined in with the crowd. Loki dropped is face into his hands and groaned. _This isn't happening_ he mumbled. "On behalf of my new spouse and I," Thor started, and pulled Loki to his feet, "I bid thee goodnight!" His smile could not have been wider, but it was too late when he saw the glint of mischief in Thor's eyes, as he hoisted Loki up and over his shoulder,

"wait I- THOR" Loki roared, now staring at Thor's back and far to embarrased to look back over the room as he heard shouts of encouragement, cheering, laughing and frankly everyone having a better time than him. His hair swung side to side as Thor  strode out of the room and as the door of the corridor clicked behind them, it suddenly became quieter. Quiet enough to think. 

_Oh he's going to pay for this_

_*****_

After initially struggling against Thor, Loki had settled on his shoulder with the occasional aggravated sigh as the Aesir prince walked them back to his room. He could perhaps have made the journey more comfortable by slowing, but his need had been building since he laid eyes on Loki this morning. Right now he was rock hard and feeling horrifically confined in his armour. His heart was racing and a longing burned in his chest that was not sated by the knowledge he was about to have Loki, and have all of him. Just as his mind was wandering down a very lustful path, Loki flicked his foot up to smack him in the face. 

"I have LEGS YOU KNOW" he said, sounding irritated. His ever so petulant temperament did nothing but remind Thor _exactly_ which idiot he had thrown of his shoulder. Nonetheless he lifted Loki back onto the floor. As he stood, right way up, his hair was mussed up, his face flushed and a look of complete indignation on those beautiful features. There was no way he could wait for the long walk to be over. "Was that really necessary? That was humilia-"

Loki was cut off as Thor pushed his back to the wall and took his face between both is his large hands and crushed their lips together. Thor's cock throbbed at the contact and he moaned into Loki's mouth, who had abandoned words in favour of feverishly kissing Thor back and burying his fingers into his blonde locks. Loki's body and lips where as soft and cool as Thor remembered, his tongue wet and searching for satisfaction against Thor's own. As before, the coldness of Loki took him by surprise but did naught to dampen his appetite. Thor pressed his thigh between Loki's and slipped an arm between his back and the wall. He began to rock his hips into his husbands, desperate to find some friction but coming up with frustration as the layers upon layers of Asgardian armour separated them. He tilted Loki's head up and latched his lips to his neck and growled in frustration. 

"What _imbecile_ designs a mans wedding armour to resemble a... a bloody chastity belt" Thor gasped against Loki's cool skin. The Jotun wrapped his legs around Thor's thick thigh and _squeezed_ , as the fingers took hold of his hair and ever so slightly pulled.

"OH gods, _Thor"_ Loki cried as he forced the blondes lips back to his own, _"_ Abolute... opposite ... problem" He gasped into his kisses. Again Thor tilted Loki's head away but this time glanced down between them, and true enough the thin blue silks Loki wore so low on his hips were doing nothing to hide or restrain Loki's raging erection. 

Using the weight is his shoulders to pin Loki upright, he took the hand from his face and crashed their lips back together, his free hand now brushing lightly against the silks Loki was tenting up between them - under his finger tips he could feel the  hardness twitch in frustration and Loki ' _mmmphmmmd'_ in protest against his lips. Thor didn't stop as he began to plague Loki's cock with the lightest of touches through silk, before circling a fingertip around and around the head of it then squeezing it _ever so slightly_ and then returning to his featherlight torture. Loki was writhing against him now, no doubt desperate to protest but Thor had his mouth occupied. Suddenly Loki pulled on his hair, _hard,_ breaking their kiss and croaking "THOR you are killing me" as he desperately tried to pull Thor closer with his thighs and no doubt have the hard grind return to his cock. Thor kept the inches between their waists and did not oblige, 

"Now perhaps you have an inkling of how I'm feeling," he growled, "Every shift" he stroked him again, barely touching, 'Every movement," he squeezed, "Is _killing me"_ he finished, taking hold of his cock firmly in his hand and giving Loki one long, firm stroke before letting go. 

" _Fuuuuuckkk"_ Loki cried, and Thor leant into him, finally pressing their hips and lips together and he felt Loki melt beneath him. "Thor, god, fuck me, have me, do something, _anything_ with me" Loki cried. 

"Fuck it" Thor said, and threw Loki once more over his shoulder and set off at a run down the corridor to his rooms. This time there was no protest, and against his shoulder he could feel Loki's rock hard member pressed. He slowed to a walk as he reached his rooms, and slipped a hand under Loki's skirts, up against the bare skin of his inner thigh until he was just below where he guessed his lips would be, and changed the path of his hand to up over his ass and pinched it. From over his shoulder he heard a disgruntled 'you bastard' as he opened the door and set Loki down in front if his bed. He watched as Loki whipped around, and then suddenly there was an icy dagger in his palm, and he was stalking toward him - a dangerous look in his eyes. Without hesitating Loki slipped the dagger between the plates of his armour and for a second Thor braced himself for the pain.

 

It never came, as Loki worked the dagger between all the plates of his armour in one deft movement - and the lot of it fell away and clanged loudly on the floor leaving him in slightly sweated cloth and leather. Loki shoved Thor who landed on his back on the bed. Loki ripped the chains from his neck and they fell too on top of his armour. Bare chested Loki leapt atop Thor and before he could react, Loki had cut him from his clothes like skinning a beast. As the air hit his overheated cock he groaned and arched his back as Loki finally ripped his boots from him, leaving in naked on the bed. He went to sit, catching sight of the red, swollen member between his legs before Loki was astride him again and pinned his hands above his head. There was no way he could hold him there by force, but he took hold of the headboard and Loki nodded in approval. He gasped as Loki's silks swept over the skin of his cock when he moved. Then it happened again, and again...

"Loki" he growled, warning and spreading his legs. He pulled on the head board in frustration, his muscles flexing in protest, 

"Not so fun, is it" He teased, and Thor looked down to him. Loki had settled between his legs, and taken hold of his cock, looking up at Thor as he lowered his lips..

Thor swore as realised was Loki was about to do, and couldn't stop his hips from bucking as Loki took his cock into his mouth and _sucked_. As Loki moved his lips up and over the head, then back down and Thor's length slipped down his throat - over and over, he felt his orgasm building. Loki's ministrations were slow and agonising. Thor thrashed his head from side to side and began to buck his hips to Loki's movements as he desperately tried to find his release. As Loki's fingers slipped under his balls to tease the skin there, he felt it. And it was coming quickly. He threw his had back and thrusted a little quicker, a soft _yes_ slipped from his lips. He was climbing. So nearly there. 

Then Loki's lips were gone, and his wet mouth replaced with cool air and in a heartbeat Thor felt his orgasm slip just out of reach. 

"No no no no no," he murmured and thrusted into nothing. "Loki... Loki I didn't-" He started as he lifted his head to look at Loki. Who was grinning, madly. 

"Oh I know" he said, cocking his head to one side, the moving to kiss the sensitive skin of his thighs. "You think I'm going to reward you after the stunt you just pulled?" And just as Thor had caught his breath and started to come down, his mouth was back causing the blonde to gasp in surprise. Again, just as he was about to release, Loki stopped. 

"You fucker" Thor spat out. "You absolute bastard" he cried, before just growling in frustration. His cock was so hard, his balls starting to ache and his heart pounding in his chest. 

"You love it" Loki smirked, now licking between the base of his cock and his belly button. 

"Like hell I love it" Thor shot back, before Loki climbed his body bringing them face to face, and began to grind his own erection against Thor's through silk. He leant down too whisper in his ear,

"Then why are you still holding the headboard" and then he smirked as unconsciously Thor had begun to grind with him. Thor swore again. "Now, when you say 'please Loki, can I come Loki', politely, I might consider ending your frustration," before climbing back down his body. 

"Fuck you" Thor laughed, grinning now. This was a new game. He liked this game, he liked it very much, 

"Now now, that's going to get you no where. I can wait all night to climb on top of you and ride that hard dick of yours" Loki purred. If he was aiming to get Thor hot again it damn well worked, and as he started to lick and suck him again Thor was already half way there. 

This time was different. Despite all his thrusting and squirming Loki was being softer, slower. Again his fingers stroked his thighs, this stomach, his balls but Thor realised he wasn't going to let him anywhere near release. He had hoped he might be able to outlast Loki, but it wasn't going to happen. He hadn't anticipated Loki being so good with his mouth. 

"Alright. Alright" Thor cried. And Loki stopped, resting his head on his hands. 

"Yes Thor? He said, acting nonchalant. Through gritted teeth he said,

"Please Loki."

Nothing. 

"Please what, Thor?" 

 _Oh you absolute bastard_ he thought.

"Please... can I come Loki" he forced out. Loki didn't hesitate. He took Thor into his mouth with more force now, more urgency. Thor felt it, rising up in him. God knows what he was babbling and he felt a crack as one of the wooden bars between his hands splintered. 

He cried out and he felt it, the heat of his orgasm flushing his face and chest as he pulsed into Loki's mouth. As he came down from it, panting and limbs heavy on the bed, he felt Loki straddle his chest. He blearily opened one eye to see the triumphant Jotun licking his lips. It wasn't the very obvious hard cock pocking up through his silks that spurred Thor into action, but the wetness where Loki sat on his chest, and that burning curiosity of just what lay between Loki's legs rekindled. He slipped his hands up Loki's bare thighs and took his cock in one, and held his hip in the other. 

As he lazily stroked Loki who had closed his eyes and rolled his head back, a soft contented hum from his lips, a thought occured to Thor. 

"When on earth did you get time to remove everything except your skirts" he asked, voice husky.

"You saw me rip my jewels off did you not," he mumbled, "veil and bracelets followed" he added. 

"I was referring to your undergarments" he pressed, still stroking but leaving that wetness beneath him a mystery for a moment longer. Loki opened an red eye to frown down at him, appearing irritated by the conversation

"I... we don't wear any, Thor"

"What.. All day?"

"No"

"So at dinner?"

"No, Thor. Can we-"

"At the _wedding ceremony?!"_

"Bloody hell Thor, no. I didn't. Can we get back to you stroking my cock now?" He snapped, irritated, and as Thor began to pleasure him again those ruby red eyes closed. Thor's own cock had begun to spring back into life. They had met dignitaries, Thor had held him, and there had been nothing under those silks. He groaned at the thought, and sat up to come face too face with Loki who slipped down to sit in his lap. 

"What now?" He grumbled, and Thor softly kissed him. 

"I want to play with you" Thor started, looking into Loki's eyes, down to his crotch and back up again. "I want you to undress for me, then show me all of you." He added putting emphasis on show. "Then I want to play with you, with my tongue, with my fingers, I want to find all the bits of you that will make you scream." He finished, voice deep and speaking softly. Loki could no doubt feel Thor hard against him again, his face had flushed a beautiful deep blue again. When he didn't move Thor pushed on his chest making him stand up in front of him and the bed. 

Slowly Loki placed a foot on Thor thigh, and unclasped the anklet there. Then one by one, he began to remove sheet after sheet of fabric from his skirts, revealing a little more skin each time until nothing but a small scrap of silk and a metal belt hung from his hips hiding not a lot at all. He unclasped it and the garment fell the floor. Thor raked his eyes over him, he truly was a beauty. Blue skin and red eyes, rivers of inky black locks and fine lines criss crossing over him. Loki walked over to him and straddled him again. Quickly Thor spun him round so Loki was lying, back down on the bed and Thor's weight on top of him. instantly the Jotun spread his legs and arched into Thor. As soon as their chests made contact, Thor drew back and looked at Loki expectantly, an unspoken instruction between them. 

_Show me._

Loki blushed, and spread his legs a little farther, sliding his hands down his own body to between his legs, parting his lips, and using the pad his thumb to start rubbing a small bump between his cock and his cunt. Nestling between his legs, Thor removed Loki's hands which instantly grabbed fistfuls of bedding in anticipation. Thor kissed his thighs and began to stroke him with his fingers. Loki was dripping wet and with ease, he slipped two of them into him. Loki moaned and wriggled his hips above Thor, who began to slide in and out of Loki. Once was panting Thor leant forward and licked up over his cllt, to the head of his dick and back down again. The latter twitched in front of him and Loki's grip on the bed tightened. 

He began to work him, licking around and over his clit, sucking at his lips and unrelenting with his fingers. He left his cock untouched, payback from earlier... Loki was squirming uncontrollable and his moaning was delicious. As Thor considered how best to torture his cock also, Loki's breathing started to become ragged. 

"Thor.." he gasped, "Thor I'm gonna.." as he head rolled back and back arching.

For a second he considered stopping as Loki had, but his patience was all but spent and he was aching to bury himself in Loki. Besides, watching him come without so much as touching his cock would be a reward in itself.. he quickened his hand and tongue as Loki tensed beneath him, and cried out his name. Thor groaned as Loki spilled over his owner stomach and tore small holes into the sheets beneath them with his grasp. Thor knelt back, wiping his mouth and pulled Loki toward him. Lifting him like weighed nothing, he sat on the end of the bed and placed Loki astride his lap. Their lips met in a hot mess of tongues and groaning, and Loki lowered himself onto Thor. He felt the tip of his cock press against Loki, before he sat and Thor was buried in him, tight and wet. Loki rode him, crooning in his neck how he loved him, how good he felt inside of him, how they would never be apart. Thor held him tight, unable to talk as Loki took him higher and higher, until finally he came inside of him, panting and peppering Loki with soft kisses as he came down. 

Exhausted, Thor held him tight with an arm around his waist, and pulled him under the covers. Wordlesslely Loki turned, his back pressed to Thor's chest and he refused to let go. 

They lay there, and Thor buried his face into Loki's hair, breathing him in, and wrapped around each other they drifted off to sleep. 

****

The sun streaming through the windows was punishing, and Loki opened a red bleary eye the next morning. In all their passion the night before they hadn't thought the close the curtains, and now the sunshine realm burned onto Loki's face with a vengeance. At some point in the night Thor had rolled away from him, and Loki turned to see his newly beloved lying belly down like a child beside him, still covered by the shade.

Loki simply stared at him for some time, the bedding caught around his waist revealing a broad bronzed back that would rise and fall gently with each breath. A strand of hair obscured his face, and Loki softly tucked it back. His mind drifted to the night before, the feverish passion with which they had taken each other, the way Thor had looked at him. _Gods that was fun._ Loki thought, smiling to himself. If their first night together was anything to go by, Loki felt he would very much enjoy sharing Thor's bed for the rest of his days. 

Not wanting to disturb him, Loki got out of bed and wrapped a cloak draping over a chair around himself. Closing the curtains behind him he stepped out onto the balcony and leaned out over Asgard. 

It was no different than when he had stood here a thousand times before. Perhaps the sun burned a little brighter to his red eyes, but it was all there - the realm eternal, unchanging, unchallenged. He felt a tremble of trepadation as he looked to the future. Thanos was making his moves. Compared to a year ago, Loki found himself in a much safer place -Asgard and Jotenheim at his back, and with those still loyal to him in either party. True he would need to revisit the sorcerers guild to see what connections remained, but with his time now on Asgard he would have plenty opportunity- 

He stopped himself. For once could he not take a morning off of scheming and plotting? His thoughts weighed heavy on his heart as remembered once again the home he had left. They would all be back there now, in the icy palace they called home. Perhaps Helblindi practiced in the Solar, or sat at his desk whilst his father worked with the alliance. Byleister no doubt causing trouble in the Hive or giving the guards a run for there money...

In his musings, he had not noticed Thor step out on to the balcony, until his arms wrapped around him and he rested his chin on his shoulder. 

"Good morning" The blonde oaf purred in his ear. Loki leant back into the embrace.

"Good morning yourself" Loki said, smiling. The two stood in silence for a moment before Thor came out with,

"I love you too"

Loki's mind flatlined as the words rung in his ear. He turned his head to face Thor who held him firmly to his chest. 

"I.. beg your pardon?" Loki stuttered, aghast

"I said I love you too" Thor said bashfully. "You said it last night, when we made love" He mumbled. Loki reeled from the expression. 

"I.. Thor we were... you were in me. Literally inside me I don't even know what I was saying" Loki said, mortified.

"So you don't love me" 

"I didn't... that's not what I said" Loki said backtracking

"So you _do_ love me" Thor said, and Loki could hear the absolute glee in his voice. Loki huffed, defeated. Thor pulled him closer and whispered in his ear. " _I love you too._ " 

"You're an idiot" Loki said, laughing and his words without venom. Thor hugged him a little tighter and they fell into a comfortable silence. 

"It's a beautiful view" Loki murmured, musing aloud. 

"I can't wait to see the one in Jotunheim" Thor retorted, and this time Loki turned in his arms to face him. 

"And why would an Asgardian prince find himself in Jotenheim?" 

"It's your home, Loki," Thor said softly. "I promise you, I won't take you away from that." Loki gaped at him suprised, "I was thinking we could go, when the excitement from the wedding has died down, for a week or so" he added, stroking his hair.

"I...that would mean the world to me Thor." Loki mumbled, and they kissed once more. As Thor held him against his chest Loki breathed him in. The tightness in his own chest eased, and as he looked to the future once more, it seemed that little brighter. Thor spoke aloud. 

"It's going to be ok, Loki" and he knew he was right. 

_It's all going to be ok._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, finished! I hope you all enjoyed reading the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. This was my first real fic and you've all written such kind words over the years I can't begin to say how much they mean <3
> 
> Thank you all, I hope you all enjoy the new Ragnarok film (I'll be seeing it tonight!)
> 
> Love to all   
> \- Sredota xxx


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